Ah, here's one for nostalgia. The last few weeks has been bad. Remember the haze? Ah, I had an extra problem of having them mozzies at night for visitors, and well, it's hard to sleep while you're getting sucked off the entire night. The worst thing was that I did not have a blanket and while putting the fan at a higher speed does cause the mozzies to keep away, it does make yours truly down with bad cold the next morning.
And thus, the brilliant me decided to get some mosquito mats (and those mat heating thingy, erm, forgot what it's called) to counter those mozzies. It came in a form of a large square box and a smaller rectangular one. At 3 am, that night itself (or is it morning?), there came a wave of attacks, and jubilantly I proclaimed that the salvation is here in form of mozzie mats and the mozzie mat heater(!)
So then, I strode accross the room (thank me for having good eyesight) and open the 1st box. *drumroll*...And it was..mats! Ah, I thought, ah, it should be in the smaller rectangular one, you know, with technology nowadays, they don't need much for a mozzie heater (after all, centrinos are small, heh)
And thus, opening the smaller box I find..*drumroll again*..more mozzie mats! Ah, needless to say, it's better to read the small label the next time you get some stuffs. Got me sleeping at 6 am though, sigh*
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Holding on to God
It's amazing how God can work when you actually live your life God's way (and saying that, it doesn't mean you've to carry a 2 feet cross everywhere you go, even to the showers).
What struck me, was that during the entire last week, I often felt that the only way to see God move effectively in my life was by holding on to God everyday and making God the center of my life. You see, I am a person who worries about small details, and sometimes it brings me down when I misinterpret people and their actions, or worry too much about my future. And God's been saying, hold on to me and I'll take care of those.
Sunday came, and it blew me out of my seat as Ps Henry spoke about the importance of God's presence in our lives. God understood! (or so it seemed to you pessimists out there)
It all came amidst some doubts as there were people claiming that Christianity might not be effective because of dysfunctional Christians. But, why bother about the dysfunctional Christians when all that matters is how close we are to God.
Some people do claim that God doesn't work cause God doesn't seem to speak to them, or that the taxi didn't come and it rained although they prayed, but at times I do wonder how close to God they've actually been? Sin does cut us off from God, and though we're forgiven, God can't work.
We might seem like freaks though to some people as we get closer to God. Have you encountered someone who said, 'Amen' when the taxi comes or the raise came without prior notice? And if we're separated from God, it might all seem superficial or fake. And indeed, sometimes, some of us has been programmed to be a happy-go-lucky Christian, but for me, there's a difference between a happy-go-lucky Christian, and one that's been holding on to God.
Ah, I sound ..erm, crappy. Enough for now! God Bless!
What struck me, was that during the entire last week, I often felt that the only way to see God move effectively in my life was by holding on to God everyday and making God the center of my life. You see, I am a person who worries about small details, and sometimes it brings me down when I misinterpret people and their actions, or worry too much about my future. And God's been saying, hold on to me and I'll take care of those.
Sunday came, and it blew me out of my seat as Ps Henry spoke about the importance of God's presence in our lives. God understood! (or so it seemed to you pessimists out there)
It all came amidst some doubts as there were people claiming that Christianity might not be effective because of dysfunctional Christians. But, why bother about the dysfunctional Christians when all that matters is how close we are to God.
Some people do claim that God doesn't work cause God doesn't seem to speak to them, or that the taxi didn't come and it rained although they prayed, but at times I do wonder how close to God they've actually been? Sin does cut us off from God, and though we're forgiven, God can't work.
We might seem like freaks though to some people as we get closer to God. Have you encountered someone who said, 'Amen' when the taxi comes or the raise came without prior notice? And if we're separated from God, it might all seem superficial or fake. And indeed, sometimes, some of us has been programmed to be a happy-go-lucky Christian, but for me, there's a difference between a happy-go-lucky Christian, and one that's been holding on to God.
Ah, I sound ..erm, crappy. Enough for now! God Bless!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
The M issue
Was kinda surprised when Irene and MessyChristian decided to blog about the M issue, M as in masturbation. Where do you stand? What's your take on it?
As for me, well, it can degenerate into a short term pleasure and long term regret thing. After all, it does make you feel bad after that and well, it cuts God away from my life, whereby I would feel that God's so far away. But doesn't any sin cause that as well?
Walk victoriously I shall, and well, as for this, I shall just stay clear.
God Bless!
p/s: and I'm no saint, just someone on a journey
As for me, well, it can degenerate into a short term pleasure and long term regret thing. After all, it does make you feel bad after that and well, it cuts God away from my life, whereby I would feel that God's so far away. But doesn't any sin cause that as well?
Walk victoriously I shall, and well, as for this, I shall just stay clear.
God Bless!
p/s: and I'm no saint, just someone on a journey
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Retreating
It's hard when someone stops talking to you or starts disliking you. It's even harder when you've to be in vicinity of the person for days end. And the hardest is when it's a mission trip and you can't get no further away.
The most recent mission trip was really hard for me as there was someone who didn't want to talk to me for 6 months. Darn, 6 months is almost 2/3rds of the EPL season too. And the thing is, it all started from a minor misunderstanding and after that she just stayed away with me wondering what's wrong. For 6 months I stayed away, but yet, she didn't seem to change. Added to that, it's already tough having people who don't quite like you coz they think you're an idiot (and who are they to judge actually, sigh*)
At times I stayed away from the group as it was hard for me to see I was put in cold storage. It was hard and well, I broke down a couple of times, away from the group as I struggled with taking a bus back from Temerloh or continuing with the mission trip. How hard could it be from then on?
It did send shockwaves when I learnt the person thought I was being uncoorperative when I stayed away from the group as they did their walking around Mentakab while we waited for Brother Charles, our contact person. How much more coorperative could I get considering all I felt like doing was either to go back, to cut my heart out so that I couldn't feel anything, or even perhaps hitting myself with a hammer till I become numb.
Usually on normal circumstances I wouldn't be bothered much as I've done my part in trying to resolve this issue, but yet, being in a mission trip and with the person as a Christian, you do want to resolve this issue, don't you?
Last night, someone told me what she thought of me during the mission trip. It's so hard as she saw everything through the lenses of a judgementalist, even though things were not the way she interpreted it. When I heard that, I really felt like the 3rd floor ain't high enough for me to jump off from. After all, haven't I tried my best?
Sigh, I don't know anymore. Perhaps I should just stay away from her and society for good...
Good nights
The most recent mission trip was really hard for me as there was someone who didn't want to talk to me for 6 months. Darn, 6 months is almost 2/3rds of the EPL season too. And the thing is, it all started from a minor misunderstanding and after that she just stayed away with me wondering what's wrong. For 6 months I stayed away, but yet, she didn't seem to change. Added to that, it's already tough having people who don't quite like you coz they think you're an idiot (and who are they to judge actually, sigh*)
At times I stayed away from the group as it was hard for me to see I was put in cold storage. It was hard and well, I broke down a couple of times, away from the group as I struggled with taking a bus back from Temerloh or continuing with the mission trip. How hard could it be from then on?
It did send shockwaves when I learnt the person thought I was being uncoorperative when I stayed away from the group as they did their walking around Mentakab while we waited for Brother Charles, our contact person. How much more coorperative could I get considering all I felt like doing was either to go back, to cut my heart out so that I couldn't feel anything, or even perhaps hitting myself with a hammer till I become numb.
Usually on normal circumstances I wouldn't be bothered much as I've done my part in trying to resolve this issue, but yet, being in a mission trip and with the person as a Christian, you do want to resolve this issue, don't you?
Last night, someone told me what she thought of me during the mission trip. It's so hard as she saw everything through the lenses of a judgementalist, even though things were not the way she interpreted it. When I heard that, I really felt like the 3rd floor ain't high enough for me to jump off from. After all, haven't I tried my best?
Sigh, I don't know anymore. Perhaps I should just stay away from her and society for good...
Good nights
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
The case for Christianity
I've been reminded of Max Lucado's illustration of the 3 brothers, the hedonist, the judging brother and finally the brother that didn't bother (not quite sure abt the last one, anyone?), whenever Christianity is concerned. Sometimes in our walk, we're bound to meet someone who professes to Christ but yet does things that put clubbers and smokers to shame. There are also those who would point a judging finger at this hedonist, assuming that all his judging would do some right.
Heard someone remarking that he won't listen to any more pastors. But would pastors be right all the time? I guess it's not an issue of pastors being infallible, after all, pastors are human as well, and do make mistakes at times. The most important is to find some pastor you can respect and stick to it.
And then, it makes me ponder, are we too caught up in our Christian bubble as some might say? I would only say it's true if all your friends are Christians and you don't mix with anyone else (like those cultist people that fry rats when they run outta food and it's not yet time to get outta their place, heh, just pulling your leg there)
True, sometimes churches can get too carried away with pop culture Christianity, whereby like Britney Spears, churches tend to hype up certain things or books. Take the Holy laughter event or even perhaps books like Prayer of Jabez and even worse, Heaven is so real. And I, on my side, wouldn't even encourage others to go for these books, especially the latter as it might shift the focus to getting more 'authentic' Christian experiences or prophecies instead of focusing on Christ.
And yea, there are bound to be people who would come to church on Sundays but do other things on weekdays. But then, other than encouraging & praying for them, who are we to judge them? Are we right enough to judge their wrongs? You may never know that the person struggling with gay/porn/lesbianism problems might one day become some powerful preacher, do you?
On the opposite end, we might have brothers who overspiritualize things, like blaming God for the haze or for the broken down lift that made the person late to work. Or even perhaps blaming God for the taxi that did not arrive and then questioning whether God's real, if not where's the miracle. And on the scary side, there are guys (or gals) who go up to someone else and tell them that God said they should get married, I certainly would stay away from those though, hehe, after all our emotions 'might' make it hard for us to hear God there, no?
Being a Christian doesn't mean that we become perfect straightaway. Wasn't Peter still an impulsive guy after following Christ for 3 years? Didn't Judas still betrayed Christ after all that teaching? And Paul still had that argument with Barnabas, Christlike you say?
The bible speaks about being transformed gradually into His image. I, for one, know that I'm at a much better state than last year, the year before that and the year before that (I could go on you know) And for me, God's real, just that at times we're too far away from God or we've been focusing on the wrong thing. Which other religion would talk about grace, salvation and God loving us despite our weaknesses?
And yea, about us all being too caught up in our Christian bubble, whereby we put on masks on Sundays and pretend that everything is well and then resume our normal lives later. Guess that it's how your church is ran, and if accountability, trust and getting others to be real is cultivated, the church will truly be a church, despite the flaws and weaknesses of its members (and yea, if I wasn't flawed, I wouldn't even be in church)
God mentioned for us to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. Perhaps its true that at times we could do more than just to pray for our exams, finance and loved ones, we should also keep an eye out for world politics and happenings around the world, whereby we won't be ignorant when someone mentions about the peak oil theory, the economics behind it or even perhaps the Malaysian AP scandal.
Gotta run.
God Bless!
Heard someone remarking that he won't listen to any more pastors. But would pastors be right all the time? I guess it's not an issue of pastors being infallible, after all, pastors are human as well, and do make mistakes at times. The most important is to find some pastor you can respect and stick to it.
And then, it makes me ponder, are we too caught up in our Christian bubble as some might say? I would only say it's true if all your friends are Christians and you don't mix with anyone else (like those cultist people that fry rats when they run outta food and it's not yet time to get outta their place, heh, just pulling your leg there)
True, sometimes churches can get too carried away with pop culture Christianity, whereby like Britney Spears, churches tend to hype up certain things or books. Take the Holy laughter event or even perhaps books like Prayer of Jabez and even worse, Heaven is so real. And I, on my side, wouldn't even encourage others to go for these books, especially the latter as it might shift the focus to getting more 'authentic' Christian experiences or prophecies instead of focusing on Christ.
And yea, there are bound to be people who would come to church on Sundays but do other things on weekdays. But then, other than encouraging & praying for them, who are we to judge them? Are we right enough to judge their wrongs? You may never know that the person struggling with gay/porn/lesbianism problems might one day become some powerful preacher, do you?
On the opposite end, we might have brothers who overspiritualize things, like blaming God for the haze or for the broken down lift that made the person late to work. Or even perhaps blaming God for the taxi that did not arrive and then questioning whether God's real, if not where's the miracle. And on the scary side, there are guys (or gals) who go up to someone else and tell them that God said they should get married, I certainly would stay away from those though, hehe, after all our emotions 'might' make it hard for us to hear God there, no?
Being a Christian doesn't mean that we become perfect straightaway. Wasn't Peter still an impulsive guy after following Christ for 3 years? Didn't Judas still betrayed Christ after all that teaching? And Paul still had that argument with Barnabas, Christlike you say?
The bible speaks about being transformed gradually into His image. I, for one, know that I'm at a much better state than last year, the year before that and the year before that (I could go on you know) And for me, God's real, just that at times we're too far away from God or we've been focusing on the wrong thing. Which other religion would talk about grace, salvation and God loving us despite our weaknesses?
And yea, about us all being too caught up in our Christian bubble, whereby we put on masks on Sundays and pretend that everything is well and then resume our normal lives later. Guess that it's how your church is ran, and if accountability, trust and getting others to be real is cultivated, the church will truly be a church, despite the flaws and weaknesses of its members (and yea, if I wasn't flawed, I wouldn't even be in church)
God mentioned for us to be as wise as serpents and as harmless as doves. Perhaps its true that at times we could do more than just to pray for our exams, finance and loved ones, we should also keep an eye out for world politics and happenings around the world, whereby we won't be ignorant when someone mentions about the peak oil theory, the economics behind it or even perhaps the Malaysian AP scandal.
Gotta run.
God Bless!
Monday, August 08, 2005
Ku mau cinta Yesus
Going over for the mission trip, I had to prepare some worship songs for our devotion. And going through my old pile of songs, here is one song that has words that when sang with meaning, it builds passion.
And its really meaningful to me at this moment in time, as at times, I don't understand things, situations, relationships. Perhaps I am at fault for some of them, but I know I've been trying my best. Storms or not, it's better to hang on to God than to fret day and night over issues over whether a someone would talk to you or not.
God Bless
----------------------------------------------------------
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya
Chorus:
Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anakmu,
Layakkanlah seluruh hidupku,
Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anakmu,
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencanamu.
Translation :
I wanna love Jesus forever,
I wanna love Jesus forever,
Though the storms may hit on my life,
I'll still love Jesus forever.
Yes Father, this is me Your son,
Make me worthy to be used,
Yes Father, this is me Your son,
Use me as your tool.
Chords are found here.
And its really meaningful to me at this moment in time, as at times, I don't understand things, situations, relationships. Perhaps I am at fault for some of them, but I know I've been trying my best. Storms or not, it's better to hang on to God than to fret day and night over issues over whether a someone would talk to you or not.
God Bless
----------------------------------------------------------
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Ku mau cinta Yesus selamanya
Meskipun badai silih berganti dalam hidupku
Ku tetap cinta Yesus selamanya
Chorus:
Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anakmu,
Layakkanlah seluruh hidupku,
Ya Abba Bapa, ini aku anakmu,
Pakailah sesuai dengan rencanamu.
Translation :
I wanna love Jesus forever,
I wanna love Jesus forever,
Though the storms may hit on my life,
I'll still love Jesus forever.
Yes Father, this is me Your son,
Make me worthy to be used,
Yes Father, this is me Your son,
Use me as your tool.
Chords are found here.
Friday, August 05, 2005
Keeping focus
It's never easy to set your focus on Jesus and remain setting it there. I guess, at times we tend to look at our situations, our problems and our shortcomings and begin to lose focus on the big picture.
Kevin Koay shared on Jesus walking on the lake today (ah, I know you'll be reading this Kevin, heh) and yea, when it came to Peter, inside I went, 'Hey, this is where I am', whereby at times where I've set my eyes on Christ, I find that life goes on smoothly, though there were issues and problems around. But then, I find when I began to look at my situation and 'try' (note the word try) helping God solve them, I find that things don't work out that right. Sometimes, things go awry instead.
I'll be at Mentakab later this evening. And with a message that emphasises on Hebrews 13:5, whereby I share with the crowd about God not forsaking them, I do ask myself whether or not has my life been consistently relying on God? Or have I been rash in my actions?
Some relationship struggles with some friends have kept me awake these few weeks. I guess it's hard when someone stops talking to you if they suddenly find you irritating (or think you're an idiot), but worse still is when you made a mistake to a dear friend, said sorry and six months later the person still keeps the distance. And it does hurt when the person walks the other direction when you come. Sigh*, the complexity of human relationships. Sometimes I wonder if we would still struggle to understand one another up there in Heaven, heh.
Then again, looking at where God's leading me, would I trust God here, even if it means that we might not be on talking terms for another long period? Hmm, and the recent acquisition of the non stick pan would ensure me growing fatter due to eating when I think too much of this on late nights. Time to call myself bulat, heh.
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Had some random thoughts about marriage since I was driving Joel and Fonie around the other day. Why on earth would ladies want to get married, when she has to wash his dirty underwears, cook for him and even perhaps bear children for him too (erm, perhaps in this it's the ladies who want children more than guys, no?)
I guess it's something to do with getting someone you like spending time with, no? Hah, time to throw away all those romantic movies I have. (writing this in a very sleepy state, it's bound to be, erm, nonsensical, hehe)
Till then, replies appreciated!
God Bless!
Kevin Koay shared on Jesus walking on the lake today (ah, I know you'll be reading this Kevin, heh) and yea, when it came to Peter, inside I went, 'Hey, this is where I am', whereby at times where I've set my eyes on Christ, I find that life goes on smoothly, though there were issues and problems around. But then, I find when I began to look at my situation and 'try' (note the word try) helping God solve them, I find that things don't work out that right. Sometimes, things go awry instead.
I'll be at Mentakab later this evening. And with a message that emphasises on Hebrews 13:5, whereby I share with the crowd about God not forsaking them, I do ask myself whether or not has my life been consistently relying on God? Or have I been rash in my actions?
Some relationship struggles with some friends have kept me awake these few weeks. I guess it's hard when someone stops talking to you if they suddenly find you irritating (or think you're an idiot), but worse still is when you made a mistake to a dear friend, said sorry and six months later the person still keeps the distance. And it does hurt when the person walks the other direction when you come. Sigh*, the complexity of human relationships. Sometimes I wonder if we would still struggle to understand one another up there in Heaven, heh.
Then again, looking at where God's leading me, would I trust God here, even if it means that we might not be on talking terms for another long period? Hmm, and the recent acquisition of the non stick pan would ensure me growing fatter due to eating when I think too much of this on late nights. Time to call myself bulat, heh.
----------------------------------------------------
Had some random thoughts about marriage since I was driving Joel and Fonie around the other day. Why on earth would ladies want to get married, when she has to wash his dirty underwears, cook for him and even perhaps bear children for him too (erm, perhaps in this it's the ladies who want children more than guys, no?)
I guess it's something to do with getting someone you like spending time with, no? Hah, time to throw away all those romantic movies I have. (writing this in a very sleepy state, it's bound to be, erm, nonsensical, hehe)
Till then, replies appreciated!
God Bless!
The non stick pan
Just got myself a non stick pan from our excursion to Carrefour Alamanda. The bad thing is, I did not check the prices of pans, and there was actually a cheaper and larger pan that could steam paus too (paus are chinese buns, pretty good stuff actually. Furthermore, big paus have more meat in them compared to those burgers you get from Burger King. Though, it probably ain't too romantic to bring your date for paus at the roadside)
So, what's the big deal of having a non stick pan? I guess, before this my supper had always been Ahoy! chocolate cookies, Hup Seng butter biscuits (which you dip into a cuppa hot Milo) and perhaps some maggi, boring stuff actually. Compared to that, I've actually cooked hash browns, eggs (hmm, no big deal, but try adding cut sausages and bits and pieces of hash browns in the egg while it's still cooking and you'll get some good stuff that only Chef Leo can do, hee), sausages (and then again, cook em too long and you'll get super hard sausages, eww!) and fries too! Now, ain't that much better in terms of supper?
Though, checking out the pants I've been wearing, they seem to have shrunk a size, aiks! Time to go to the gym, though it's really embarrasing to go gym when you lug around that tummy of yours while the other guys are actually flexing their muscles. They must be showoffs, hmmph.
Till then, recipes would be good!
p/s: How long could I keep a piece of chicken in the freezer? Anyone?
So, what's the big deal of having a non stick pan? I guess, before this my supper had always been Ahoy! chocolate cookies, Hup Seng butter biscuits (which you dip into a cuppa hot Milo) and perhaps some maggi, boring stuff actually. Compared to that, I've actually cooked hash browns, eggs (hmm, no big deal, but try adding cut sausages and bits and pieces of hash browns in the egg while it's still cooking and you'll get some good stuff that only Chef Leo can do, hee), sausages (and then again, cook em too long and you'll get super hard sausages, eww!) and fries too! Now, ain't that much better in terms of supper?
Though, checking out the pants I've been wearing, they seem to have shrunk a size, aiks! Time to go to the gym, though it's really embarrasing to go gym when you lug around that tummy of yours while the other guys are actually flexing their muscles. They must be showoffs, hmmph.
Till then, recipes would be good!
p/s: How long could I keep a piece of chicken in the freezer? Anyone?
Political mileage
I decided to break my blogging hiatus for this serious post. Recent political events in the country has been sending shockwaves in the country. The reveal of AP statuses where it is shown that the AP king had 35 thousand cars under his company has been an eye opener to the way this country is being ran. And furthermore, it's worrying to see the Umno Youth leader proclaiming in his keris that we'll need to implement the New Economic Policy. If that's the case, we might be sidelined even more as non Malays. And for one, I'm no racist, but I do feel that it's a racist thingy.
What can we do? For one, the AP issue is only gonna get the prices of cars up again in the near future, though it is good to see steps being taken to flush out corruption. As for the NEP, I guess we can only leave it to the hands of our politicians. Let's pray that MCA, MIC and the various component parties will do their share. And lastly, I do know that God'll be with us. Take care readers.
What can we do? For one, the AP issue is only gonna get the prices of cars up again in the near future, though it is good to see steps being taken to flush out corruption. As for the NEP, I guess we can only leave it to the hands of our politicians. Let's pray that MCA, MIC and the various component parties will do their share. And lastly, I do know that God'll be with us. Take care readers.
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Monday, July 25, 2005
The vine and the branches
"I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me" John 15:5
My spiritual life has been off target in recent weeks with a surge in activity every few days, whereby a toll of Dota, sleeping and just lazing around the apartment has replaced quiet time spent with God. And it's does surprise you when you suddenly feel dry/lost/spent when you do a quick check on yourself.
This particular verse has been real for me for the last few weeks. It all started when I met Pastor Jacs for a drink and she mentioned this as something I could meditate on for the next few weeks, and indeed, everything I've done seems to be pointing towards the direction of holding on to God, letting God take control and letting my burdens, worries and problems to God. And no, they're not about getting rich, hitched or somethings like that just in case you were wondering.
You know, it amazes me how refreshing church can be, despite the physical tiredness of it all. And why couldn't every other day be as refreshing as Sunday, unless there's something about Sunday, or do people really get all cordial and nice in the church sanctuary because it's church? I doubt it. It has to be the fact we're willing to consecrate ourselves for Sunday mornings, sometimes praying/reading the bible for the first time in the week, as compared to normal days where we prefer to sit on the couch and feast on our potato chips.
But from experience, God ultimately doesn't dissapoint, especially if we cast our cares unto Him. And who said being a Christ follower means that your life's all rosy ? I could live my life as I like, playing church on Sundays, perhaps getting drunk, clubbing and watching some porn as entertainment, but would it be all worthwhile? Or I could worry about getting someone. Mom has been dropping large hints about me being single at my prime, but nah, there's more to life than just trying to get hitched.
Though I no longer believe that God automatically answers all your prayers like some Santa Claus, I do,however, believe that God's in control at all times, and there are reasons why somethings happen, even when we mess things up.
I guess at times my fear is about not doing the right thing, but yet, if you don't hold on hard to God, like a branch to the vine, how then could I be used by God? Hmm, will blog more later.
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I've had some comments that I've been blogging too much about 'emo' stuffs, while a few others mentioned my attempts at humor ain't going too well with them. If I do listen to everyone, perhaps I shouldn't blog then, or perhaps I should just blog everything in my private blog instead. Unlike other blogs, the main reason I write, is to reach out to others, and being a Christian doesn't automatically mean your life's all nice. And in some sense, it takes time for hurts to heal, and by being vulnerable, the worst a person could get is to be shot at for posting his/her thoughts.
My spiritual life has been off target in recent weeks with a surge in activity every few days, whereby a toll of Dota, sleeping and just lazing around the apartment has replaced quiet time spent with God. And it's does surprise you when you suddenly feel dry/lost/spent when you do a quick check on yourself.
This particular verse has been real for me for the last few weeks. It all started when I met Pastor Jacs for a drink and she mentioned this as something I could meditate on for the next few weeks, and indeed, everything I've done seems to be pointing towards the direction of holding on to God, letting God take control and letting my burdens, worries and problems to God. And no, they're not about getting rich, hitched or somethings like that just in case you were wondering.
You know, it amazes me how refreshing church can be, despite the physical tiredness of it all. And why couldn't every other day be as refreshing as Sunday, unless there's something about Sunday, or do people really get all cordial and nice in the church sanctuary because it's church? I doubt it. It has to be the fact we're willing to consecrate ourselves for Sunday mornings, sometimes praying/reading the bible for the first time in the week, as compared to normal days where we prefer to sit on the couch and feast on our potato chips.
But from experience, God ultimately doesn't dissapoint, especially if we cast our cares unto Him. And who said being a Christ follower means that your life's all rosy ? I could live my life as I like, playing church on Sundays, perhaps getting drunk, clubbing and watching some porn as entertainment, but would it be all worthwhile? Or I could worry about getting someone. Mom has been dropping large hints about me being single at my prime, but nah, there's more to life than just trying to get hitched.
Though I no longer believe that God automatically answers all your prayers like some Santa Claus, I do,however, believe that God's in control at all times, and there are reasons why somethings happen, even when we mess things up.
I guess at times my fear is about not doing the right thing, but yet, if you don't hold on hard to God, like a branch to the vine, how then could I be used by God? Hmm, will blog more later.
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I've had some comments that I've been blogging too much about 'emo' stuffs, while a few others mentioned my attempts at humor ain't going too well with them. If I do listen to everyone, perhaps I shouldn't blog then, or perhaps I should just blog everything in my private blog instead. Unlike other blogs, the main reason I write, is to reach out to others, and being a Christian doesn't automatically mean your life's all nice. And in some sense, it takes time for hurts to heal, and by being vulnerable, the worst a person could get is to be shot at for posting his/her thoughts.
Friday, July 22, 2005
An understanding of friendships
I guess one thing I've learned is that a friendship is indeed a beautiful thing and not all friendships grow the same way. Many years back, at the National Conference camp in Peacehaven, we were thought that most friendships we've go through at least a stormy weather before we finally pull through. And sadly, not all friendships will survive this period of storm as sometimes people tend to hit out in anger or hide away for the fear of getting hurt. But what indeed is a friendship?
I guess I wouldn't know much myself. Just got back from a jog with Wai Choong and Charis and well, they're people I would label as I'm going through a storm with and would rather stay away from, but coming back, I find that it ain't so. It was indeed a great time sitting on the edge of the library and just chilling. Hmm, guess I've never done that often.
Was taking a shower just now when it hit me that when someone avoids eye contact, it doesn't mean that they're upset/dissapointed or whatever. Being a S/I myself out of the DISC structure, I tend to rather keep away then risk the chance of being told I'm not wanted there.
So, what about it? I do believe that there are a few types of uncomfortableness. The most obvious is when someone hates you for who you are/what you've done. And then, there are those who dislike you, those who aren't too comfortable with you and avoids you and finally, those who aren't too comfortable with you but are willing to give you a chance to get to know them.
Perhaps before this I was really screwed up in a sense I couldn't differentiate between these. Maybe I've been too badly burnt before that I tend to avoid those that are willing to give me a chance because I reckoned that I would be hurt too someday, sometime and isn't it better to keep away even when they ask you to go out with them?
And at times, yea, a heightened sensitivity would do me good, though if the mistake is already done, and you friend hates/dislikes you and you've done your best to say sorry, I guess it's time to move on instead of torturing yourself with the past (after all, what's done is the past, ain't it?)
There will be people who don't like you, people whom you won't be as close as you like to, and some who will reciprocate the friendship. And what I learned is to never expect anything in return, thus, you don't set a level for your friends to perform. Sometimes, they just need to feel more comfortable before they open up.
I made a mistake once in that I kept to myself and my games/manga for more than a year, because I was hurt and didn't want to get hurt anymore. But yet, being a sanguine, it was pretty hard. Try interacting with others while you guys are rushing the enemy base in CS or while you are being owned in DOTA, silly ain't it?
Finally, I would like to thank those that have been by me all these while though I kept pondering about my value, about whether I fitted in and even when I tried a bit too hard. Thanks. Life is all about shared experiences with friends, ain't it?
God Bless
I guess I wouldn't know much myself. Just got back from a jog with Wai Choong and Charis and well, they're people I would label as I'm going through a storm with and would rather stay away from, but coming back, I find that it ain't so. It was indeed a great time sitting on the edge of the library and just chilling. Hmm, guess I've never done that often.
Was taking a shower just now when it hit me that when someone avoids eye contact, it doesn't mean that they're upset/dissapointed or whatever. Being a S/I myself out of the DISC structure, I tend to rather keep away then risk the chance of being told I'm not wanted there.
So, what about it? I do believe that there are a few types of uncomfortableness. The most obvious is when someone hates you for who you are/what you've done. And then, there are those who dislike you, those who aren't too comfortable with you and avoids you and finally, those who aren't too comfortable with you but are willing to give you a chance to get to know them.
Perhaps before this I was really screwed up in a sense I couldn't differentiate between these. Maybe I've been too badly burnt before that I tend to avoid those that are willing to give me a chance because I reckoned that I would be hurt too someday, sometime and isn't it better to keep away even when they ask you to go out with them?
And at times, yea, a heightened sensitivity would do me good, though if the mistake is already done, and you friend hates/dislikes you and you've done your best to say sorry, I guess it's time to move on instead of torturing yourself with the past (after all, what's done is the past, ain't it?)
There will be people who don't like you, people whom you won't be as close as you like to, and some who will reciprocate the friendship. And what I learned is to never expect anything in return, thus, you don't set a level for your friends to perform. Sometimes, they just need to feel more comfortable before they open up.
I made a mistake once in that I kept to myself and my games/manga for more than a year, because I was hurt and didn't want to get hurt anymore. But yet, being a sanguine, it was pretty hard. Try interacting with others while you guys are rushing the enemy base in CS or while you are being owned in DOTA, silly ain't it?
Finally, I would like to thank those that have been by me all these while though I kept pondering about my value, about whether I fitted in and even when I tried a bit too hard. Thanks. Life is all about shared experiences with friends, ain't it?
God Bless
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
5 important lessons
Got this from laineylashes, pretty good read (sorry lainey for the cut and paste!)
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five important lessons..
..to make you think about the way you treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello“. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2 - Second Important Lesson - Pick up in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console colored TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts..
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?“. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
& most importantly, “work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, & dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”
------------------------------------------------------------------
five important lessons..
..to make you think about the way you treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello“. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2 - Second Important Lesson - Pick up in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console colored TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts..
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?“. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
& most importantly, “work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, & dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”
I speak mandarin!
It's never easy to pick up a new language when you're older, especially not when you're in your mid twenties with those white hair waiting to sprout out. I've been attending mandarin classes over the last few weeks, as I'm kinda free actually and I figured that learning a new language wouldn't really hurt, would it? (yea, for all you know, I might just meet a mandarin speaking chick on one of my mission trips to China, heh)
Though, considering it again, mandarin's good when it comes to getting books. Books like Harry Potter go for a fraction of the price in mandarin. Most comics do get translated to mandarin first too (yay to comic books! At least they let us live out the superhero fantasy in us, hee), and yea, mandarin newspapers are always more informative compared to most local english ones (well, the Star's fine, but..)
Homework's tough though, with tough words to remember and all those funny pronounciation styles. Try saying, 'Wei she mo' correctly and you'll figure that the Malaysian way of speaking mandarin is essentially very Kampung like compared to proper mandarin. Though, the sad thing about living in Malaysia is that if you do try speaking proper mandarin, people might think you're a freak, *sigh*
The good thing about getting occupied? I guess I just don't spend so much thinking power thinking about unnescessary stuff like porn, heh (and no, I stay clear from them, though they say a typical male mind would think of sex every 37 seconds or so, hmm..)
Now, how do I find a Taiwanese wife? Blah! (and no again, ain't not desperate, just putting dumb remarks here and there)
Though, considering it again, mandarin's good when it comes to getting books. Books like Harry Potter go for a fraction of the price in mandarin. Most comics do get translated to mandarin first too (yay to comic books! At least they let us live out the superhero fantasy in us, hee), and yea, mandarin newspapers are always more informative compared to most local english ones (well, the Star's fine, but..)
Homework's tough though, with tough words to remember and all those funny pronounciation styles. Try saying, 'Wei she mo' correctly and you'll figure that the Malaysian way of speaking mandarin is essentially very Kampung like compared to proper mandarin. Though, the sad thing about living in Malaysia is that if you do try speaking proper mandarin, people might think you're a freak, *sigh*
The good thing about getting occupied? I guess I just don't spend so much thinking power thinking about unnescessary stuff like porn, heh (and no, I stay clear from them, though they say a typical male mind would think of sex every 37 seconds or so, hmm..)
Now, how do I find a Taiwanese wife? Blah! (and no again, ain't not desperate, just putting dumb remarks here and there)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Considering others
Since the previous post, I've been keeping away from blogging and the blogging world. I wondered what would people think about me after knowing I got into a car accident out of rashness/stupidity. And yea, I felt bad about it.
If there was one thing I could learn, it was to be more considerate when doing things. Somehow, my current way of doing unto others as I would like them to do unto me is a little screwed up, as I don't actually mind a lot of stuff. The opposite holds true for others though.
It's hard to point fingers at where I went wrong growing up. Mom and Dad just weren't around till 9-10 pm daily, leaving us with some money to do whatever's needed. So well, if I felt hungry, I went over to the nearby restaurant to grab a meal, and most of the time I was either
a) In school, playing badminton or volleyball
b) In the library, reading novels and all
c) In my friend's house playing some games
And yea, I would only consider if someone told me I was doing wrong.
It was hard too, as my dad developed in us a siege mentality, where it's either us or them. And getting pushed around in school did not help alter much of that perception. I just numbed myself to what others thought and just did what I thought was right. It would really kill you to bother when half the class thinks you're a nerd when they don't even know you, right?
I went through the toughest time of my life back in Melaka, when living with others meant I had to change the way I was in most circumstances, and yea, I guess this is another patch I've to learn from.
It's really not easy when you think you've done your best in terms of devotion time and considering others, just to find out that you still fall short with mistakes. I did really feel like alienating myself from the entire comunity here as perhaps I ain't good enough. But yet, would that be the best solution?
I wonder. Help me here will ya?
If there was one thing I could learn, it was to be more considerate when doing things. Somehow, my current way of doing unto others as I would like them to do unto me is a little screwed up, as I don't actually mind a lot of stuff. The opposite holds true for others though.
It's hard to point fingers at where I went wrong growing up. Mom and Dad just weren't around till 9-10 pm daily, leaving us with some money to do whatever's needed. So well, if I felt hungry, I went over to the nearby restaurant to grab a meal, and most of the time I was either
a) In school, playing badminton or volleyball
b) In the library, reading novels and all
c) In my friend's house playing some games
And yea, I would only consider if someone told me I was doing wrong.
It was hard too, as my dad developed in us a siege mentality, where it's either us or them. And getting pushed around in school did not help alter much of that perception. I just numbed myself to what others thought and just did what I thought was right. It would really kill you to bother when half the class thinks you're a nerd when they don't even know you, right?
I went through the toughest time of my life back in Melaka, when living with others meant I had to change the way I was in most circumstances, and yea, I guess this is another patch I've to learn from.
It's really not easy when you think you've done your best in terms of devotion time and considering others, just to find out that you still fall short with mistakes. I did really feel like alienating myself from the entire comunity here as perhaps I ain't good enough. But yet, would that be the best solution?
I wonder. Help me here will ya?
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Rationalising things
Got into an accident on Monday around the Lim Kok Wing curve. And if there was anything about it, it was all stupidity, with me speeding around 100 km/h on an already rainy day. As the car lost control and spun voraciously, thoughts of the consequences, the dumbness and the impulsiveness would cost me. Even if I had survived, what if any of my passengers died or got into a coma for good? I shudder thinking about it all.
Was at CCF's meeting today when the speaker spoke about REBT, which stood for Rational Emotive Belief Theraphy, as a method of encountering stress. And as I sat and listened, it seemed directed to me, as a direction to head and improve myself on.
As you know, I've always been blogging about my inability to not get through to people, but what if I was unconsciously trying to prove my theory right, where some of those who get close enough to me would get hurt due to my suspicion of their motives? And in a way, Charis has always been trying to help me, but I've always doubted her sincerity as there was a period of time she seemed phobic whenever people made a ruckus about me being interested in her (and I hardly even knew her then! I just thought she was cute *sigh* those idiots)
After the accident, I took a long hard look at my beliefs and found that back then I did doubt the people who were out to help me, people like Wooi Keat, Edmund, Yew Weng, as I misinterpreted their actions as pity. 'Stay clear away from me', was the signal I was prone to send out.
Even harder to take Wooi Keat. Though we had our arguments, I guess she really did try to help me back then, only to find me replaying past events and staying away due to those and some teasing from the guys. And I was making the same mistake with Charis too.
I don't know if recent events would prove to change me for good. At times I'm so screwed up I wonder if God would still use me. But yet, I thank God for the people who had been there for me, even though in my misinterpretation, I tended to push them away or try to interpret their actions as against me. Life isn't about trying to prove the world's out to get you, if you do, you'll only see those actions that would confirm your beliefs.
Till later,
God Bless
p/s: Do you guys get doubts too? I wonder
Was at CCF's meeting today when the speaker spoke about REBT, which stood for Rational Emotive Belief Theraphy, as a method of encountering stress. And as I sat and listened, it seemed directed to me, as a direction to head and improve myself on.
As you know, I've always been blogging about my inability to not get through to people, but what if I was unconsciously trying to prove my theory right, where some of those who get close enough to me would get hurt due to my suspicion of their motives? And in a way, Charis has always been trying to help me, but I've always doubted her sincerity as there was a period of time she seemed phobic whenever people made a ruckus about me being interested in her (and I hardly even knew her then! I just thought she was cute *sigh* those idiots)
After the accident, I took a long hard look at my beliefs and found that back then I did doubt the people who were out to help me, people like Wooi Keat, Edmund, Yew Weng, as I misinterpreted their actions as pity. 'Stay clear away from me', was the signal I was prone to send out.
Even harder to take Wooi Keat. Though we had our arguments, I guess she really did try to help me back then, only to find me replaying past events and staying away due to those and some teasing from the guys. And I was making the same mistake with Charis too.
I don't know if recent events would prove to change me for good. At times I'm so screwed up I wonder if God would still use me. But yet, I thank God for the people who had been there for me, even though in my misinterpretation, I tended to push them away or try to interpret their actions as against me. Life isn't about trying to prove the world's out to get you, if you do, you'll only see those actions that would confirm your beliefs.
Till later,
God Bless
p/s: Do you guys get doubts too? I wonder
Monday, July 04, 2005
Oil depletion
As the prices of oil per barrel hit US$60, panic buttons were hit worldwide, including here in Malaysia where most of us went to jam the petrol station in hopes of avoiding the midnight price hike. Well, the rumors of price hike proved to be wrong, but here's something from Gim Han. Check this out.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Random Thoughts
Taking a cue from Sivin Kit, here I post a series of random thoughts that were written spontaneously on a piece of paper I intend to stick up on my room. Boy, by then they won't be so private anymore (yea, I will get some flak for this)
---------------------------------------------------------------
-What is the purpose of gaining everything if I lose Christ?
-Friends. God, will You provide?
-Have all my friends graduated? :|
-It always takes 2 parts to clap, even in a friendship
-How do I become a better Youth Leader?
-Respect is earn, never given
-The insecure Youth Leader. Man, that sucks..
-No retreat, no regrets, no compromise (but God, I'm an extrovert. Must be a screwed up extrovert here to be in the state I'm in)
-Is it all about the way we carry ourselves, or does God play an active role in our friendships? yea, but it does suck when you don't understand why you aren't getting through to some people :(
-But then, how come I always seem to do better with non CFers/church people? Just don't geddit
-Will I have a better social life if I quit Christianity all together and join one of those Rotaract/Asiaworks/Toastmasters instead? But then, is life just all about getting some friends to joke around with?
-Would this be a
1) Holiday where I eat, sleep and get fat?
2) Game playing semester filled with DOTA and old DOS games like Day of the Tentacle?
3) Friendship finding semester where I bug my few friends until they get tired of me? (and yea, the gals might think I'm interested since I bug them too, haih, gals ~.~)
4) Trying to be a best Christian I could be semester, where I try to follow God and not do what's natural in the flesh? (like getting bored, depressed, etc etc)
-Following God with all your heart doesn't mean God'll provide you with all the friends you wish. There are always seasons for things, perhaps this is the season I consecrate myself?
-The passion is there, but when I follow my heart instead of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I tend to derail things.
---------------------------------------------------------------
-What is the purpose of gaining everything if I lose Christ?
-Friends. God, will You provide?
-Have all my friends graduated? :|
-It always takes 2 parts to clap, even in a friendship
-How do I become a better Youth Leader?
-Respect is earn, never given
-The insecure Youth Leader. Man, that sucks..
-No retreat, no regrets, no compromise (but God, I'm an extrovert. Must be a screwed up extrovert here to be in the state I'm in)
-Is it all about the way we carry ourselves, or does God play an active role in our friendships? yea, but it does suck when you don't understand why you aren't getting through to some people :(
-But then, how come I always seem to do better with non CFers/church people? Just don't geddit
-Will I have a better social life if I quit Christianity all together and join one of those Rotaract/Asiaworks/Toastmasters instead? But then, is life just all about getting some friends to joke around with?
-Would this be a
1) Holiday where I eat, sleep and get fat?
2) Game playing semester filled with DOTA and old DOS games like Day of the Tentacle?
3) Friendship finding semester where I bug my few friends until they get tired of me? (and yea, the gals might think I'm interested since I bug them too, haih, gals ~.~)
4) Trying to be a best Christian I could be semester, where I try to follow God and not do what's natural in the flesh? (like getting bored, depressed, etc etc)
-Following God with all your heart doesn't mean God'll provide you with all the friends you wish. There are always seasons for things, perhaps this is the season I consecrate myself?
-The passion is there, but when I follow my heart instead of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I tend to derail things.
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