Since the previous post, I've been keeping away from blogging and the blogging world. I wondered what would people think about me after knowing I got into a car accident out of rashness/stupidity. And yea, I felt bad about it.
If there was one thing I could learn, it was to be more considerate when doing things. Somehow, my current way of doing unto others as I would like them to do unto me is a little screwed up, as I don't actually mind a lot of stuff. The opposite holds true for others though.
It's hard to point fingers at where I went wrong growing up. Mom and Dad just weren't around till 9-10 pm daily, leaving us with some money to do whatever's needed. So well, if I felt hungry, I went over to the nearby restaurant to grab a meal, and most of the time I was either
a) In school, playing badminton or volleyball
b) In the library, reading novels and all
c) In my friend's house playing some games
And yea, I would only consider if someone told me I was doing wrong.
It was hard too, as my dad developed in us a siege mentality, where it's either us or them. And getting pushed around in school did not help alter much of that perception. I just numbed myself to what others thought and just did what I thought was right. It would really kill you to bother when half the class thinks you're a nerd when they don't even know you, right?
I went through the toughest time of my life back in Melaka, when living with others meant I had to change the way I was in most circumstances, and yea, I guess this is another patch I've to learn from.
It's really not easy when you think you've done your best in terms of devotion time and considering others, just to find out that you still fall short with mistakes. I did really feel like alienating myself from the entire comunity here as perhaps I ain't good enough. But yet, would that be the best solution?
I wonder. Help me here will ya?
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