Suicide.
Nice word isn't it? Suicide holds a certain mystique for us as most of us are uncertain of where we go after we die. And after all, suicide is always the easy way out. Pull that trigger, jump off that ledge or pop those pills and we're on a homerun. More likely on a sad journey home to God.
But why suicide? Psychological research has shown that most people who take their lives have actually an equally high desire to live life out, just that they can't see beyond the horizon. Heh, talk about short sightedness.
Suicidal thoughts. I've been there. Heh, actually they were thoughts of jumping off the ledge my apartment's balcony to glide gloriously in the air for those few seconds before erm, hitting the black gravelly road, all due to some dumb issues. The thing was, erm, I don't wanna be pulp =p (perhaps starring in Pulp Fiction or something similar, but definitely not pulp!) And though those suicidal thoughts only reigned for a short period in my life, but it was still it was..sad hor?
It's always depression, our past or loneliness that leads to suicide. But yet, would pondering and regretting ever change history? And even worse, what a bad way of dying, suicide I mean. Heh, I would rather leave with a bang than having such a pathetic attempt at glory as the last memory of what people would have on me.
I did struggled shortly with my past this morning. It's one of those rare things nowadays, being not as bad as they use to be. Though, the struggles do leave me misty eyed and with a wet pillow. Looking at the bright side, they say ladies find men who cry, erm, sexy? Heheh!
Count your blessings, that was what I felt God telling me. How much joy we can derive comes from our ability to look at things as half full instead of half empty. And no, I didn't mean getting a glass half full with vodka and downing it all in one shot.
Our God is a God of second chances. And not only second chances, but also the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on. Sometimes we go through some hard patches in life, and we can either see it as God tearing down and building up, or we can get upset and blame God for our oh not-so-fairytale life. But if life was a fairytale, then what's living about? I would rather live a life where I've cried and laughed so hard that they remain poignant memories to cherish.
Life is never about the past, but the present. Go on, smell the flowers, enjoy the slow rain, make friends, and if you find love, fight for it (though don't make a nuisance out of yourself la. Haih, we guys gotta learn that..) And after all these, learn to love, the biblical kind of love I mean, for where there's love, the dark side never wins.
God Bless~!
p/s: Can I win any prize for this article? Heh!
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