Alone, but not lonely

I guess one of the main grouses of being 26 and still studying is that all your closest friends have graduated and taken off. It's even more so obvious in the forsaken land of Cyberjaya when there's nothing to do at night except play games, chat or study (unless you play with the guitar, watch movies, etc etc). There's no place to chill nearby, with only Dengkil, Puchong and Putrajaya the nearest place.

Tonight, as I headed back home from cg, I felt down, drained and depressed. God, I'm here all alone! I don't really talk to my housemates either.. God, who are my best friends, my buddies, my lepak gang?! I was tempted to enter a realm of self pity and self loath at once. But yet, something within me tells me I can't. I'm loved by God, my family and my friends back home. This is just a temporary thing, a phase to go through.

But yet, as I stood under the shower, I felt, 'Hey! I'm here to bless, I'm here to serve, I'm here to be salt and light for God' It's normal after all to feel alone and lonely. After all, the Psalmist did actually go through deepest depths and violent emotions. And yet, it's part of God's plan for us to learn to depend on Him in our alone-ness. Through dat alone we can start growing in Christ. Alone-ness doesn't mean loneliness rite?

Was hanging out with John, Joash and Su Chen when they mentioned a couple of TV series. Hah, I dunno, but I might just borrow some to watch after I'm done studying for the day. It helps with stupidly farnee show like Friends or American Idol, heheh.

Anyways, just a random thought. Do I need a girl friend coz I'm all alone all the time? Nahh~~! Two lonely people doesn't make the world go round. I need buddies, friends, lepak partners! heh. And it's ok if I've not many around (*sigh*, do I have any? God..? do I?....) Haihh~ After all, most people do get attached coz they're lonely, mien.

Guess I need to continue focusing on the goal, the prize, the finishing line. I've started the race and now our Young Adults and Youth ministry is already under way, I need to see it works and grows.(we can't think of an appropriate name other than AYAM. Aiks! Bad name eh? Heheh )

Yea, guess dats it. Help me God~ Do I want to be popular with the largest amount of friends? No God, I want to be the man of God You want me to be, I want to see You in heaven and get told, 'Well done, my faithful servant' Let me be a man after Your heart instead of someone who wants more friends..

Amen~!