Friday, July 23, 2004

God sized plans

Jeremiah 29:10-12 - This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

I woke up to this words. It was early, 6 am and we were due to go for Bak Kut Teh with a bunch of insane young people (yes, if you're one of them and you're reading this, you're insane! Hahahah). Bak Kut Teh is a hellish portion of unhealthy pork and soup that is bound to make you fat, good news for those trying to put on weight. And as I sat in bed, half asleep and as blur as a sotong, these words kept ringing in my head. 'For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'

What plans God, what plans? Sometimes God's plans seem so far away, so far fetched and so unlikely, especially when we're still learning to trust in Him in everything we do. And sometimes things seem to go awfully wrong when we least expect it.

It's been one year since I shifted myself out of an abusive, hurtful & unaccepting situation. And at times, my past tends to catch up with me. I'm not used to crowds, being so used to sitting alone, just observing people joking around and teasing each other. To me, it's much easier to be an observer than to go in and stand a chance of getting hurt.

And I guess, that's the source of my depression. Unless I'm sure of our friendship, I would just sit behind and observe, then getting upset with myself for not participating. The past tends to catch up with you sometimes you least expect it.

And it was interesting, when the speaker for CF on Tuesday mentioned about forgiveness. Forgiveness also includes accepting yourself as how God sees you instead of looking at how others have mistreated you. Forgiveness also means being secure of who you are in Christ and not letting the hurts affect you again.

God mentioned plans, plans to prosper and not to harm us. And it's times like this when hope dangled down seems so powerful, so wonderful and so awesome. God indeed has plans for this wretched life of mine. I just need to keep focus on Christ, the author and the finisher of our faith.

Maybe perhaps one day in the future I could look back at this and laugh at the past. Just maybe, if God wills it...

God Bless~



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