First Love

I have to admit. I was tired. Tired of our Friday Cellgroups that are far away. Tired to drive around so much. Tired of being a nice Christian guy. Just tired. And to think of it, it's sometimes much easier to be another guy out there, free to do what I feel like doing, not caring less of what's gonna happen next.

But then, as I ask myself again, 'What's my life ambition?' To please God 'What's my dream?' To see breakthrough happening in Malaysia. I won't settle for anything less than this, for God has brought me through so much and given me so many promises.

And as I was contemplating writing this blog for a few days, God kept pointing me towards the word 'First Love' Everything I encountered seem to point towards the message First Love.

Jim Elliot once wrote, 'A man is no fool to let go of what he cannot keep and to hold on to what he can' Jim Elliot died holding on to his first love, killed by the Aucas in the mission fields of Ecuador.

At times, I do ask myself,'Am I a fool?' At times, it would seem so. Just a fool dreaming a dream so big that he doesn't know how God's going to use him. Just a fool driving around, doing things for the church. Just a fool, trying his best to be a good, Godly Christian in everyway he can.

Reading the book, Celebration of Discipline by Richard J. Foster, Richard mentioned that it's so easy to say 'yes' to God for the big things. To give up our lives on the battle field, to change the world and to make an impact. After all, they don't need much follow up. But true discipline, true serving comes not with a big decision, but small decisions to serve God in small things. That's when the true sacrifices come in.

And to me, there's where First Love comes in. Are you willing to be a fool? To make such sacrifices, even if there's a chance no one notices, no one cares and no one says thank you? It's hard, it's tiring and it's unrewarding. And people might even call you a fool for a lost cause.

First love comes with putting God first in everything you do, even when things don't seem to work out. Let us also not fall into the trap of just doing ministry. (Revelations 2:2-5)

First love. Let me be a fool for something I know I can hold on to.

God Bless~