More than conquerors

Was just browsing through the books in Salvation when one by Joyce Meyer got me reading like there's no tomorrow. 'How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny' struck me like an arrow hitting it's bullseye.

It seems that this is one area that God's leading me at, confidence to be myself. And it was funny dat a close friend of mine was talking to me about it, the ability to believe in God and have confidence that He'll provide and make straight things in our lives. That even in our careers, ministry and life partners, God will ensure we have sufficient. Not extra, not too much, but sufficient. Didn't God say,'My grace is sufficient for you'?

And it's true. I've been suffering from a self confidence problem I guess. No doubt, I've tried improving myself, my people skills and how I relate to others (as in not scaring others away). And in a way, I've somehow succeeded. Ask those who know me well and they'll tell you I've changed. I'm noisy, funny and even at times, insanely lame (though I would like to think I'm a quietly normal person).

And looking back 1 and a half years ago, I was timidly scared of people. And though upset with myself for not being more sociable (but being noisy at the wrong time), my environment did not allow much change. And I would say, God has indeed lead me through working at Chili's, attending FGC and well, even my industrial training. I've changed.

But then, at times, I do compare myself to others and a feeling of self loath comes in. I find myself feeling down for not being as funny as the other guy, not as fit (and yea, dat includes six packs and biceps, hehe), or perhaps not as good looking (hmm, not trying to say I'm bad looking here). And though I kept my friend's words at heart, it was only when I browsed through the book that I felt, 'Hey! This is what God's telling me now'

Confidence in God, in knowing that He knows best for you. Even the past, the pains and the hurts, God will and can use them. And when only we begin to love ourselves as God loves us, can we see the world from Jesus' point of view. Shades of grace and mercy instead of being judgemental and unkind.

I find that at times, I do try to follow other people's style. Perhaps sometimes, I try to be funnily quiet, and at others, noisily chatty. And then I find I fail. I can't be a copycat. I mean, it won't suit me. And Joyce Meyers addressed the issue on Chapter 4, 'Have you lost yourself?' It's really a good read.

Free to develop potential, that's what the book said. And now, I believe. God's there for us, even when we feel all alone. Do you believe as well? Would you believe as well? Let's put God in the center of our emotions and feelings. After all, we need to see ourselves as God sees us. More than conquerers(!)
God Bless~