Crossroads

A lot of things have been happening recently. Many forced me to sit, think and sometimes cry out to God. Sometimes I don't quite comprehend, thus I spend some time sitting alone trying to make sense of life. At other times, friends do help me process those thoughts.

So, what's new here? It's on two fronts. Firstly, I've been delayed once again in my Engineering degree by another four months (unless a miracle happens, heheh) Four awfully long months if you begin to think of the prospects of going to class & meals alone without the familiar faces of Leona, Su Chen, Su Yin, David Eng, Niger, Marcus, Ji Fong & Daniel Sim. Looks like I've gotta be prepared to sit alone once more *sigh*

But nah, I'm not gonna be down about this. I'll take this as another opportunity to work hard, study smart and make up for past failures. Another chance to reach out to the unreached. Another chance to learn more about life. Another chance to improve on my people skills without being too worried of what people might think (ah, the working world is surprisingly sensitive and critical, compared to undergrads)

There was some confusion (and depression as well) as dad suggested a credit transfer to some university in NZ or Australia. Going there not only involves uprooting myself, but having to find space and time to settle down there. I felt lost for awhile. Actually, the thought of doing stupid things raced across my mind, and for once I actually considered doing them.

But I believe God will bring me through this. He will make straight my paths and make right my ways as long as I surrender my all to Christ.

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Part 2

On the 2nd front though, it's more subtle. Working has indeed opened my eyes to the good and yet the bad of the world. Unlike Chili's, where most of us are innocent young people, my workplace is filled with people who have done it all. Some of my colleagues boast about their (s)exploits and their adventures without flinching an eye bat (heh, must have told their stories many times around I guess)

And it's there you see the world is driven to fulfill it's desire. Wealth, Sex and Booze seems to be the order of the day. One colleague went around cursing the Boss as every item we repair nets the company tens of thousands, while his pay check does not change.

Yet another came back from Laos and boasted that he 'did' it with a couple of 18 year old prostitutes every night, with each amounting up to rm 110. While this, another boasted having slept with women from Korea, Japan, Singapore and a lot from his old workplace in Sarawak. I was left surprised, stunned, disgusted but yet thinking of why the world works in such a manner.

And Booze? Some of them suffer from liver problems due to their booze intake. But yet, they take booze as they have marital problems. All due to their skirt chasing ways while they had less wrinkles.

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Part 3

At times, I ponder whether Christianity would be the right way to go. After all, the world out there seems so much more exciting compared to the boring old Church. There are a lot of things out there to snare a young man's heart.

After all, there are a lot of nice & pretty non Christian/backslidden women who are willing to date, there's the thrill of dancing in clubs every night till your legs wear out, the thrill of getting high on booze and cigarettes and finally, having more money will give you a really comfortable life.

But yet, as I look at my colleagues, they don't seem too happy with their lives. Sex, after all last less then 10 minutes (erm, I think lah. We're not the French, heheh) What's good sex compared having a good marriage? And after all, a pretty wife does not nescessarily equate to a happy marriage. She might be having an affair for all you know (heh, I'm saying this according to marriage stats)

And finally, booze can only drown out your sorrow, not actually healing away the pain and mend away the wounds. And it makes your wallet even more empty(!)

Guess that's it. Jesus is still the way, the truth and the life. Although other ways may seem interesting, it only leads to death. After all, Christ mentioned, 'Narrow is the way that leads to life'. I will serve Jesus Christ with all my heart.

Amen~