"I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in Me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without Me" John 15:5
My spiritual life has been off target in recent weeks with a surge in activity every few days, whereby a toll of Dota, sleeping and just lazing around the apartment has replaced quiet time spent with God. And it's does surprise you when you suddenly feel dry/lost/spent when you do a quick check on yourself.
This particular verse has been real for me for the last few weeks. It all started when I met Pastor Jacs for a drink and she mentioned this as something I could meditate on for the next few weeks, and indeed, everything I've done seems to be pointing towards the direction of holding on to God, letting God take control and letting my burdens, worries and problems to God. And no, they're not about getting rich, hitched or somethings like that just in case you were wondering.
You know, it amazes me how refreshing church can be, despite the physical tiredness of it all. And why couldn't every other day be as refreshing as Sunday, unless there's something about Sunday, or do people really get all cordial and nice in the church sanctuary because it's church? I doubt it. It has to be the fact we're willing to consecrate ourselves for Sunday mornings, sometimes praying/reading the bible for the first time in the week, as compared to normal days where we prefer to sit on the couch and feast on our potato chips.
But from experience, God ultimately doesn't dissapoint, especially if we cast our cares unto Him. And who said being a Christ follower means that your life's all rosy ? I could live my life as I like, playing church on Sundays, perhaps getting drunk, clubbing and watching some porn as entertainment, but would it be all worthwhile? Or I could worry about getting someone. Mom has been dropping large hints about me being single at my prime, but nah, there's more to life than just trying to get hitched.
Though I no longer believe that God automatically answers all your prayers like some Santa Claus, I do,however, believe that God's in control at all times, and there are reasons why somethings happen, even when we mess things up.
I guess at times my fear is about not doing the right thing, but yet, if you don't hold on hard to God, like a branch to the vine, how then could I be used by God? Hmm, will blog more later.
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I've had some comments that I've been blogging too much about 'emo' stuffs, while a few others mentioned my attempts at humor ain't going too well with them. If I do listen to everyone, perhaps I shouldn't blog then, or perhaps I should just blog everything in my private blog instead. Unlike other blogs, the main reason I write, is to reach out to others, and being a Christian doesn't automatically mean your life's all nice. And in some sense, it takes time for hurts to heal, and by being vulnerable, the worst a person could get is to be shot at for posting his/her thoughts.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Friday, July 22, 2005
An understanding of friendships
I guess one thing I've learned is that a friendship is indeed a beautiful thing and not all friendships grow the same way. Many years back, at the National Conference camp in Peacehaven, we were thought that most friendships we've go through at least a stormy weather before we finally pull through. And sadly, not all friendships will survive this period of storm as sometimes people tend to hit out in anger or hide away for the fear of getting hurt. But what indeed is a friendship?
I guess I wouldn't know much myself. Just got back from a jog with Wai Choong and Charis and well, they're people I would label as I'm going through a storm with and would rather stay away from, but coming back, I find that it ain't so. It was indeed a great time sitting on the edge of the library and just chilling. Hmm, guess I've never done that often.
Was taking a shower just now when it hit me that when someone avoids eye contact, it doesn't mean that they're upset/dissapointed or whatever. Being a S/I myself out of the DISC structure, I tend to rather keep away then risk the chance of being told I'm not wanted there.
So, what about it? I do believe that there are a few types of uncomfortableness. The most obvious is when someone hates you for who you are/what you've done. And then, there are those who dislike you, those who aren't too comfortable with you and avoids you and finally, those who aren't too comfortable with you but are willing to give you a chance to get to know them.
Perhaps before this I was really screwed up in a sense I couldn't differentiate between these. Maybe I've been too badly burnt before that I tend to avoid those that are willing to give me a chance because I reckoned that I would be hurt too someday, sometime and isn't it better to keep away even when they ask you to go out with them?
And at times, yea, a heightened sensitivity would do me good, though if the mistake is already done, and you friend hates/dislikes you and you've done your best to say sorry, I guess it's time to move on instead of torturing yourself with the past (after all, what's done is the past, ain't it?)
There will be people who don't like you, people whom you won't be as close as you like to, and some who will reciprocate the friendship. And what I learned is to never expect anything in return, thus, you don't set a level for your friends to perform. Sometimes, they just need to feel more comfortable before they open up.
I made a mistake once in that I kept to myself and my games/manga for more than a year, because I was hurt and didn't want to get hurt anymore. But yet, being a sanguine, it was pretty hard. Try interacting with others while you guys are rushing the enemy base in CS or while you are being owned in DOTA, silly ain't it?
Finally, I would like to thank those that have been by me all these while though I kept pondering about my value, about whether I fitted in and even when I tried a bit too hard. Thanks. Life is all about shared experiences with friends, ain't it?
God Bless
I guess I wouldn't know much myself. Just got back from a jog with Wai Choong and Charis and well, they're people I would label as I'm going through a storm with and would rather stay away from, but coming back, I find that it ain't so. It was indeed a great time sitting on the edge of the library and just chilling. Hmm, guess I've never done that often.
Was taking a shower just now when it hit me that when someone avoids eye contact, it doesn't mean that they're upset/dissapointed or whatever. Being a S/I myself out of the DISC structure, I tend to rather keep away then risk the chance of being told I'm not wanted there.
So, what about it? I do believe that there are a few types of uncomfortableness. The most obvious is when someone hates you for who you are/what you've done. And then, there are those who dislike you, those who aren't too comfortable with you and avoids you and finally, those who aren't too comfortable with you but are willing to give you a chance to get to know them.
Perhaps before this I was really screwed up in a sense I couldn't differentiate between these. Maybe I've been too badly burnt before that I tend to avoid those that are willing to give me a chance because I reckoned that I would be hurt too someday, sometime and isn't it better to keep away even when they ask you to go out with them?
And at times, yea, a heightened sensitivity would do me good, though if the mistake is already done, and you friend hates/dislikes you and you've done your best to say sorry, I guess it's time to move on instead of torturing yourself with the past (after all, what's done is the past, ain't it?)
There will be people who don't like you, people whom you won't be as close as you like to, and some who will reciprocate the friendship. And what I learned is to never expect anything in return, thus, you don't set a level for your friends to perform. Sometimes, they just need to feel more comfortable before they open up.
I made a mistake once in that I kept to myself and my games/manga for more than a year, because I was hurt and didn't want to get hurt anymore. But yet, being a sanguine, it was pretty hard. Try interacting with others while you guys are rushing the enemy base in CS or while you are being owned in DOTA, silly ain't it?
Finally, I would like to thank those that have been by me all these while though I kept pondering about my value, about whether I fitted in and even when I tried a bit too hard. Thanks. Life is all about shared experiences with friends, ain't it?
God Bless
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
5 important lessons
Got this from laineylashes, pretty good read (sorry lainey for the cut and paste!)
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five important lessons..
..to make you think about the way you treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello“. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2 - Second Important Lesson - Pick up in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console colored TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts..
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?“. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
& most importantly, “work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, & dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”
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five important lessons..
..to make you think about the way you treat people.
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady
During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one: “What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?” Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade. “Absolutely,” said the professor. “In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello“. I’ve never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
2 - Second Important Lesson - Pick up in the Rain
One night, at 11:30 P.M., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car. A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab. She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man’s door. To his surprise, a giant console colored TV was delivered to his home. A special note was attached..
‘Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband’s bedside just before he passed away… God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others.’
Sincerely,
Mrs. Nat King Cole
3 - Third Important Lesson - Always Remember Those Who Serve
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” he asked. “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it. “Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?” he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. “Thirty-five cents,” she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. “I’ll have the plain ice cream,” he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn’t have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.
4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts..
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, “Yes I’ll do it if it will save her.” As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, “Will I start to die right away?“. Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.
& most importantly, “work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt, & dance like you do when nobody’s watching.”
I speak mandarin!
It's never easy to pick up a new language when you're older, especially not when you're in your mid twenties with those white hair waiting to sprout out. I've been attending mandarin classes over the last few weeks, as I'm kinda free actually and I figured that learning a new language wouldn't really hurt, would it? (yea, for all you know, I might just meet a mandarin speaking chick on one of my mission trips to China, heh)
Though, considering it again, mandarin's good when it comes to getting books. Books like Harry Potter go for a fraction of the price in mandarin. Most comics do get translated to mandarin first too (yay to comic books! At least they let us live out the superhero fantasy in us, hee), and yea, mandarin newspapers are always more informative compared to most local english ones (well, the Star's fine, but..)
Homework's tough though, with tough words to remember and all those funny pronounciation styles. Try saying, 'Wei she mo' correctly and you'll figure that the Malaysian way of speaking mandarin is essentially very Kampung like compared to proper mandarin. Though, the sad thing about living in Malaysia is that if you do try speaking proper mandarin, people might think you're a freak, *sigh*
The good thing about getting occupied? I guess I just don't spend so much thinking power thinking about unnescessary stuff like porn, heh (and no, I stay clear from them, though they say a typical male mind would think of sex every 37 seconds or so, hmm..)
Now, how do I find a Taiwanese wife? Blah! (and no again, ain't not desperate, just putting dumb remarks here and there)
Though, considering it again, mandarin's good when it comes to getting books. Books like Harry Potter go for a fraction of the price in mandarin. Most comics do get translated to mandarin first too (yay to comic books! At least they let us live out the superhero fantasy in us, hee), and yea, mandarin newspapers are always more informative compared to most local english ones (well, the Star's fine, but..)
Homework's tough though, with tough words to remember and all those funny pronounciation styles. Try saying, 'Wei she mo' correctly and you'll figure that the Malaysian way of speaking mandarin is essentially very Kampung like compared to proper mandarin. Though, the sad thing about living in Malaysia is that if you do try speaking proper mandarin, people might think you're a freak, *sigh*
The good thing about getting occupied? I guess I just don't spend so much thinking power thinking about unnescessary stuff like porn, heh (and no, I stay clear from them, though they say a typical male mind would think of sex every 37 seconds or so, hmm..)
Now, how do I find a Taiwanese wife? Blah! (and no again, ain't not desperate, just putting dumb remarks here and there)
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Considering others
Since the previous post, I've been keeping away from blogging and the blogging world. I wondered what would people think about me after knowing I got into a car accident out of rashness/stupidity. And yea, I felt bad about it.
If there was one thing I could learn, it was to be more considerate when doing things. Somehow, my current way of doing unto others as I would like them to do unto me is a little screwed up, as I don't actually mind a lot of stuff. The opposite holds true for others though.
It's hard to point fingers at where I went wrong growing up. Mom and Dad just weren't around till 9-10 pm daily, leaving us with some money to do whatever's needed. So well, if I felt hungry, I went over to the nearby restaurant to grab a meal, and most of the time I was either
a) In school, playing badminton or volleyball
b) In the library, reading novels and all
c) In my friend's house playing some games
And yea, I would only consider if someone told me I was doing wrong.
It was hard too, as my dad developed in us a siege mentality, where it's either us or them. And getting pushed around in school did not help alter much of that perception. I just numbed myself to what others thought and just did what I thought was right. It would really kill you to bother when half the class thinks you're a nerd when they don't even know you, right?
I went through the toughest time of my life back in Melaka, when living with others meant I had to change the way I was in most circumstances, and yea, I guess this is another patch I've to learn from.
It's really not easy when you think you've done your best in terms of devotion time and considering others, just to find out that you still fall short with mistakes. I did really feel like alienating myself from the entire comunity here as perhaps I ain't good enough. But yet, would that be the best solution?
I wonder. Help me here will ya?
If there was one thing I could learn, it was to be more considerate when doing things. Somehow, my current way of doing unto others as I would like them to do unto me is a little screwed up, as I don't actually mind a lot of stuff. The opposite holds true for others though.
It's hard to point fingers at where I went wrong growing up. Mom and Dad just weren't around till 9-10 pm daily, leaving us with some money to do whatever's needed. So well, if I felt hungry, I went over to the nearby restaurant to grab a meal, and most of the time I was either
a) In school, playing badminton or volleyball
b) In the library, reading novels and all
c) In my friend's house playing some games
And yea, I would only consider if someone told me I was doing wrong.
It was hard too, as my dad developed in us a siege mentality, where it's either us or them. And getting pushed around in school did not help alter much of that perception. I just numbed myself to what others thought and just did what I thought was right. It would really kill you to bother when half the class thinks you're a nerd when they don't even know you, right?
I went through the toughest time of my life back in Melaka, when living with others meant I had to change the way I was in most circumstances, and yea, I guess this is another patch I've to learn from.
It's really not easy when you think you've done your best in terms of devotion time and considering others, just to find out that you still fall short with mistakes. I did really feel like alienating myself from the entire comunity here as perhaps I ain't good enough. But yet, would that be the best solution?
I wonder. Help me here will ya?
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Rationalising things
Got into an accident on Monday around the Lim Kok Wing curve. And if there was anything about it, it was all stupidity, with me speeding around 100 km/h on an already rainy day. As the car lost control and spun voraciously, thoughts of the consequences, the dumbness and the impulsiveness would cost me. Even if I had survived, what if any of my passengers died or got into a coma for good? I shudder thinking about it all.
Was at CCF's meeting today when the speaker spoke about REBT, which stood for Rational Emotive Belief Theraphy, as a method of encountering stress. And as I sat and listened, it seemed directed to me, as a direction to head and improve myself on.
As you know, I've always been blogging about my inability to not get through to people, but what if I was unconsciously trying to prove my theory right, where some of those who get close enough to me would get hurt due to my suspicion of their motives? And in a way, Charis has always been trying to help me, but I've always doubted her sincerity as there was a period of time she seemed phobic whenever people made a ruckus about me being interested in her (and I hardly even knew her then! I just thought she was cute *sigh* those idiots)
After the accident, I took a long hard look at my beliefs and found that back then I did doubt the people who were out to help me, people like Wooi Keat, Edmund, Yew Weng, as I misinterpreted their actions as pity. 'Stay clear away from me', was the signal I was prone to send out.
Even harder to take Wooi Keat. Though we had our arguments, I guess she really did try to help me back then, only to find me replaying past events and staying away due to those and some teasing from the guys. And I was making the same mistake with Charis too.
I don't know if recent events would prove to change me for good. At times I'm so screwed up I wonder if God would still use me. But yet, I thank God for the people who had been there for me, even though in my misinterpretation, I tended to push them away or try to interpret their actions as against me. Life isn't about trying to prove the world's out to get you, if you do, you'll only see those actions that would confirm your beliefs.
Till later,
God Bless
p/s: Do you guys get doubts too? I wonder
Was at CCF's meeting today when the speaker spoke about REBT, which stood for Rational Emotive Belief Theraphy, as a method of encountering stress. And as I sat and listened, it seemed directed to me, as a direction to head and improve myself on.
As you know, I've always been blogging about my inability to not get through to people, but what if I was unconsciously trying to prove my theory right, where some of those who get close enough to me would get hurt due to my suspicion of their motives? And in a way, Charis has always been trying to help me, but I've always doubted her sincerity as there was a period of time she seemed phobic whenever people made a ruckus about me being interested in her (and I hardly even knew her then! I just thought she was cute *sigh* those idiots)
After the accident, I took a long hard look at my beliefs and found that back then I did doubt the people who were out to help me, people like Wooi Keat, Edmund, Yew Weng, as I misinterpreted their actions as pity. 'Stay clear away from me', was the signal I was prone to send out.
Even harder to take Wooi Keat. Though we had our arguments, I guess she really did try to help me back then, only to find me replaying past events and staying away due to those and some teasing from the guys. And I was making the same mistake with Charis too.
I don't know if recent events would prove to change me for good. At times I'm so screwed up I wonder if God would still use me. But yet, I thank God for the people who had been there for me, even though in my misinterpretation, I tended to push them away or try to interpret their actions as against me. Life isn't about trying to prove the world's out to get you, if you do, you'll only see those actions that would confirm your beliefs.
Till later,
God Bless
p/s: Do you guys get doubts too? I wonder
Monday, July 04, 2005
Oil depletion
As the prices of oil per barrel hit US$60, panic buttons were hit worldwide, including here in Malaysia where most of us went to jam the petrol station in hopes of avoiding the midnight price hike. Well, the rumors of price hike proved to be wrong, but here's something from Gim Han. Check this out.
Friday, July 01, 2005
Random Thoughts
Taking a cue from Sivin Kit, here I post a series of random thoughts that were written spontaneously on a piece of paper I intend to stick up on my room. Boy, by then they won't be so private anymore (yea, I will get some flak for this)
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-What is the purpose of gaining everything if I lose Christ?
-Friends. God, will You provide?
-Have all my friends graduated? :|
-It always takes 2 parts to clap, even in a friendship
-How do I become a better Youth Leader?
-Respect is earn, never given
-The insecure Youth Leader. Man, that sucks..
-No retreat, no regrets, no compromise (but God, I'm an extrovert. Must be a screwed up extrovert here to be in the state I'm in)
-Is it all about the way we carry ourselves, or does God play an active role in our friendships? yea, but it does suck when you don't understand why you aren't getting through to some people :(
-But then, how come I always seem to do better with non CFers/church people? Just don't geddit
-Will I have a better social life if I quit Christianity all together and join one of those Rotaract/Asiaworks/Toastmasters instead? But then, is life just all about getting some friends to joke around with?
-Would this be a
1) Holiday where I eat, sleep and get fat?
2) Game playing semester filled with DOTA and old DOS games like Day of the Tentacle?
3) Friendship finding semester where I bug my few friends until they get tired of me? (and yea, the gals might think I'm interested since I bug them too, haih, gals ~.~)
4) Trying to be a best Christian I could be semester, where I try to follow God and not do what's natural in the flesh? (like getting bored, depressed, etc etc)
-Following God with all your heart doesn't mean God'll provide you with all the friends you wish. There are always seasons for things, perhaps this is the season I consecrate myself?
-The passion is there, but when I follow my heart instead of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I tend to derail things.
---------------------------------------------------------------
-What is the purpose of gaining everything if I lose Christ?
-Friends. God, will You provide?
-Have all my friends graduated? :|
-It always takes 2 parts to clap, even in a friendship
-How do I become a better Youth Leader?
-Respect is earn, never given
-The insecure Youth Leader. Man, that sucks..
-No retreat, no regrets, no compromise (but God, I'm an extrovert. Must be a screwed up extrovert here to be in the state I'm in)
-Is it all about the way we carry ourselves, or does God play an active role in our friendships? yea, but it does suck when you don't understand why you aren't getting through to some people :(
-But then, how come I always seem to do better with non CFers/church people? Just don't geddit
-Will I have a better social life if I quit Christianity all together and join one of those Rotaract/Asiaworks/Toastmasters instead? But then, is life just all about getting some friends to joke around with?
-Would this be a
1) Holiday where I eat, sleep and get fat?
2) Game playing semester filled with DOTA and old DOS games like Day of the Tentacle?
3) Friendship finding semester where I bug my few friends until they get tired of me? (and yea, the gals might think I'm interested since I bug them too, haih, gals ~.~)
4) Trying to be a best Christian I could be semester, where I try to follow God and not do what's natural in the flesh? (like getting bored, depressed, etc etc)
-Following God with all your heart doesn't mean God'll provide you with all the friends you wish. There are always seasons for things, perhaps this is the season I consecrate myself?
-The passion is there, but when I follow my heart instead of the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I tend to derail things.
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