Kids with Cameras

Do check out this film

Here's the sypnosis

The most stigmatized people in Calcutta's red light district are not the prostitutes, but their children. In the face of abject poverty, abuse, and despair, these kids have little possibility of escaping their mother's fate or for creating another type of life.

In Born into Brothels, directors Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman chronicle the amazing transformation of the children they come to know in the red light district. Briski, a professional photographer, gives them lessons and cameras, igniting latent sparks of artistic genius that reside in these children who live in the most sordid and seemingly hopeless world.

The photographs taken by the children are not merely examples of remarkable observation and talent; they reflect something much larger, morally encouraging, and even politically volatile: art as an immensely liberating and empowering force.

Devoid of sentimentality, Born into Brothels defies the typical tear-stained tourist snapshot of the global underbelly. Briski spends years with these kids and becomes part of their lives. Their photographs are prisms into their souls, rather than anthropological curiosities or primitive imagery, and a true testimony of the power of the indelible creative spirit.

The Job hunt begins!

I'm officially looking for a job. My last paper would be on the 1st of October, whereby after that I would be joining the MMU CFers alumni for lunch at some posh place at Ikano or the thereabouts. Talk about an immediate graduation party. I just pray there won't be an interrogation on what's my future plans or even worse, a bash (*gasp*)



I seriously fear working, the pressures, the commitment and ultimately, the fact that working changes you, and yea, I worry I might change for the worse (like some workaholic whose dream is to own a Ferrari, or even worse, some uncle who brings out sweet young things, haih!)

But I'm already 2 years late, like some old chick hatching out after everyone flying about, and thus, the need my rubbery bum moving if I would ever get a job, ever. The sad thing about Malaysian companies is that they hate employing those older people. Seems like it's harder to train us huh.

The difference of a few hundred won't be a sticking point though, as I need to be free for our CrossRoadz on weekends. Been sickened out by the fact when my high school reunions would always be a game of comparing, whereby people start to compare their salary and assets, some going on proclaiming how 'great' someone has become because they hit the 4k ceiling or is almost retired from MLM. What happened to all our friendly chatter on life or Liverpool or even worse, Manchester United? Guess I should go around telling them my dog just had a litter of puppies, heh, or that I plan to do some low-paying job, hmmmm...



I have worked before, and saying that, I find office work, especially those 9-5 desk jobs type tires the heck outta me. Just find I couldn't seat still, as it makes me doze off *sigh* It must be the hormones of a young, macho, virile male at it's best.

Most of the time I would find myself going to the loo every odd hour or so for a 5 minute nap. Imagine having a nap at such places, I must be really desperate for sleep! Though, the good thing about a desk job would be the ability to chat and hit up a score with some old friends, tempting, no? (yea, and we hit the ALT-TAB key when the Boss passes by, sheeesh)

I work best if I'm given a chance to talk and yea, I need to move around. It's been a trait from young, thus, when people do tell me I would do good in sales, I would like to think so too. Unless of course there's an opening in Hitz.fm (but then, I do suffer from stage fright, sigh*)

So, thus, any job opportunities out there? It would be good to start working at the end of October :)


Will never beg for food, perhaps Chili's but, nahh..

Live and in the can

The last few weeks has been hard for me. Misunderstanding, hurts and questions. And at times like this, you just wish there was an undo button somewhere, or perhaps a save game to reload unto. But yet, I could search the entire Indian ocean and yet come out with nothing, nada, elek.

But God heals, and I know He does. At dead ends and broken relationships, I know that turning to Christ is so much better than ramming the divider head on at a high speed or playing an assortment of games to keep my mind off things. But God, it's still hard..



Was listening to Delirious' Live in a can album, when the words of the song 'What a friend I found' ministered over and over again. And though I know I would get hurt again, I know He's there for me. Just gotta hold on to my source of strength and hope..

Here's a short poem, heh, from the usually not-so-poetic me. Have fun.
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Perhaps
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I could never understand,
Never comprehend, the distance between us,
Perhaps in my naivety it all seems easy,
Not realising the things I do, do keep you away.

I beat my chest in frustation,
In sadness and in hurt,
On perhaps you'll never be as close as before,
It's hard losing a friend you've known for so long.

In my moments of weakness, I cry,
Oh lead me God, carry me through these all,
Help me understand that You've a plan for us all,
Even in the midst of broken friendships that tear me apart.

As I bring my burdens to the Cross,
My hurts, frustrations and all that bear me down,
He takes me up and makes me whole again,
Is life a circle of going to the Cross over and over again?

Perhaps in time things would be better,
Perhaps it might never be,
I still couldn't comphrehend nor understand,
But I know in Christ I could soldier on..

Those old games

Been trying to post the last few days only to have Firefox crashed at crucial moments. *sigh* all my precious writings! Hmmph, managed to get rid of the problem by reinstalling the latest version of Firefox though.
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Been downloading some old games this week to fill up some time. These were games that I used to shell out a huge portion of my pocket money just getting them. And yea, how I used to stinge to be able to get that title that came out on The Star's weekly In-tech edition.

And yea, we did games trading among ourselves too, whereby everyone in the group would be assigned to get a certain game and then we trade. Come on, those games cost us rm 8-15 each then, when our daily allowances wouldn't go more than rm 1. So yea, you have us, them no-life gamers whose main topic of interest in school weren't those cute chicks, but on how to get the Mechwarrior to jump jet over the enemy to get to the next part of the map. Sad huh? (hee, don't feel sad thinking about it now though)



It didn't seem to matter than, that the games consisted of pixelated screens and beeping sounds, unlike those pampered Half-life 2 and Dota gamers nowadays. Games back then had substance, ideas and replayability, compared to games nowadays that gives you awesome graphics and music, at the fraction of gameplay.

There were a lot of classics I would guess. Sierra games notching up a niche for itself in the adventure gaming market through games like the Quest for Glory series, Leisure Suit Larry series (when any naughty games like these caught our full attention, heh. Mighty curious kids we were back then, heheheh), and even the technically superior Gabriel Knight series.



Gaming used to be a huge portion of my life, as mom and dad were never back till 9pm everyday, whereby dinner would arrive in the shape of polystyrene boxes of chap fan. And after that, we would have to help feed the dog, lug in dad's law books and perhaps even do our revision in front of dad.

It used to be a huge part of my life as I tried to hide the fact I hadn't had many friends back then. And when things went for worse as I stayed alone in hostel with hardly anyone to hang out with, games were my breakfast, lunch and dinner buddies as we explored unknown galaxies, won that elusive Champion's league with some Luton no-hopers or even perhaps kicked ass as some champion Counter Strike player everyone knew as Mister Potato. (we had pretty weird nicks then like Tuan Jamban, Longkang and yea, the creative yours truly)



And that continued when I shifted with a bunch of horny (they'll kill me if they see this, heheh) guys at Cyberia apartments. Days were spent battling it out on the couch to see who's the ultimate Wrestlemania champion using The Rock's moves or even skidding around in Need for Speed 3. Who can forget Squaresoft and their Final Fantasy games too, as we rode around in Chocobos, traversing the wide, green plains. Heh, so much for sweet memories.



I've stopped gaming, other than the occasional foray into the unknown, as I find that friends, not games make out my life, as memories are always meant to be shared, not traversed alone.

Someone once said, we can live a life without friends, but what would life be without friends?


Goodbye, old pal. Sure miss the good old days of yore..

p/s: Still up for some wrestlemania challenge! Who's your daddy? heheh..

Funny Weekends

You know, it's a bit funny when weekend approaches. While on weekdays, I'm an overdued 'uncle' who's graduating in a months time, on weekends, I'm some guy bent on serving God more and seeing God's will be done on Earth.

Unfortunately, the weekend can only be construed as Friday nights till Sunday evenings, whereby after that I get lost on unfamiliar ground, like some dinosaur finding itself at the SuperBowl. Lost indeed huh?



Looking around, I find my friends busy, occupied and me with thoughts on what am I to do, where do I go? Sadly, I do feel a bit detached from the CFers and my classmates, and yea, it does affect me, with me wondering whether it has anything to do with the following points.
a) Age gap (but hey, I ain't any octogenarian! In fact, I still have all my hair)
b) the lack of chemistry (well, constant talk of cars and games by the other guys do bore me though)
c) I don't see them often enough
d) I bore them with my rendition of Jack Black



And thinking about point c), I did consider again and again on whether should I've been in some church that most of them are currently in. It was a rather long thought (and yea, they've a lot of attractive chics there too, which made the decision a rather hard one), but nah. I would say where I am has been the best thing to happen to me these 2 years. Other than the fact I lost weight, heh, and got a lil braver.



Hmm, the end is near. Gotta cherish this 'dull' moments. Now, how can I bully my housemates? Heh!

Those Multi Level Marketing people

Multilevel marketing. It scares me when old acquaintances or friends suddenly call me out of the blue for a request of dinner or yam char days or weeks ahead of the date. And it becomes rather perplexing when they keep insisting on wanting to meet while maintaining the rather sweet tone of voice. Gals do it better, though some do manage to sound really manja/flirty, all to my uncomfortableness. Heh, I should record those conversations the next time around for you guys eh?

Most of the time, they claim to have something very important to show, something that would change my life. At times I wonder if it's about the gospel, coz if it is, I'm already a Christian, and I do point it out to them vigorously that I don't need to be evangelized to again. By then, the whole gospel truth unravels itself. They're trying to sell me a dream, the multilevel marketing (MLM) dream.



I'm sure you've heard about it, those multilevel marketing programs. Amway, Elken, Shaklee and even our very own Malaysian company, something alike the Proton of MLMs, Cosway. Many with claims of being able to boost income levels sky high, with the ability to retire just before 30. Talks by them at hotels are buffeted with free and good hotel food, whereupon you'll be treated to success stories telling you how some apek made it big and is now driving a Mercedes. Enticing no? Heh, the S320 does get you the extra attention from them chicks though, who perhaps would be clamouring for a ride the 1st few months, heh.

Some of my good friends even tell me that joining a certain multilevel company is a Christian thing to do, as I would be earning legal cash in a certain Christian based MLM company and yet be able to serve God more. And when I've made it, I could retire well and be a pastor of a small church, while living comfortably. Hmm, and to encourage me further, they tell me that Pastors do join the company and well, there are lots of nice Christian gals in it too. Heh, talk about the gift of gab, I'm sure they have it. Too bad those chicks are driven by the wrong motives though, sigh*.



The whole problem with MLM as I see it, is that instead of being able to have more time for friends, church and family, I find my free time taken up trying to bug some auntie I know to buy an over priced tooth paste or fan with the promise that it'll deliver. Perhaps it does deliver, but at 3 times the original price I don't think I would wanna get them for long term usage.



And worse still, they've all these MLM planning meetings, whereupon it becomes like some commando planning meet, like those you see in 'Dirty Dozen', where we plan on which target to hit on what day and time. After all, everyone gains when I gain. Hmm, more likely my superior would gain the most eh?

It's a bit scary when MLM people start going aggresively in church, telling you that it's the way, the truth and the life. In the US, instead of doing MLM in churches, they even started MLM churches! Gasp! Heh, imagine, every new believer not only would be presented with the gospel, but with the MLM gospel package on how to make it rich. Hmm.

Now, MLMs and insurance are 2 totally different things. Insurance are absolutely needed by everyone, while people could survive without an overpriced toothpaste, gold coin that's not worth as much as you invest in, or even perhaps a rm 4k filtering system. Heh, insurance helps you save, while MLMs doesn't.



Heh, was just talking to John about the prospects of making MLM work for us. How about asking people to try evangelising the MLM way, whereupon you call your friends to makan just to tell them about something special they can't miss, and when they do take the bait, we bring out our bibles and share with them the benefits of eternal life. Certainly it'll be better than those MLM promises of money, no? (though, it most probably won't work, as people are always more attracted to promises of success. And yea, it's not easy to get people to listen to you in this postmodern world we're currently in)


MLMs? nah, give me Jesus anyday! :)

updates : Found this site while searching for Gold Quest-->MLM Watchdog, do check it out. Though I do not fully agree with everything the site says, they do point out risky MLMs if you do actually decide to plough through with MLM

Rules and Regulations

Here's some rules and regulations about this blog:
a) Do not spam
b) Criticism is allowed, but only constructive ones. Come on, what would you do if others come to your blog and start flaming away?
c) The owner of the blog isn't responsible for what others write on the comments. So, if your comments are against the law, face it on your own
d) Please do not cut and paste without permission
e) Please do respect my rights of privacy and let me blog on items I want. If you've certain items you want, do ask me, not condemn.
f) Whatever is in this blog, remains here. Don't go around gossiping about it.

Thanks again!

Dreams

Do you believe in dreams, as in a way that God communicates? I hardly dream, but had 2 very real dreams, where the 1st was before this morning's prayer and the 2nd was after. And, it was funny that both had a message of, 'Would you serve God well? Would you give your best for the ministry?' And at both times, I woke up a bit dazed, stunned and yet pondering upon the weigh of the message. There are so many things I wanna hold on to, so many things I doubt God'll provide if I let Him do it. Should I? *sigh*

Some might say that God doesn't work supernaturally anymore, but I do, and though I don't raise the dead or heal the cripple (not just yet), I do believe that God can work through dreams and visions.

Hmm, I don't know where am I heading, just holding on to God here.

Jekyll and Hyde

Jekyll and Hyde, wrote the status of a friend. How apt. Sometimes I find myself like Jekyll, having a split personality (and no, I don't transform into a monster or Ultraman Leo. You wanna know? It's Spongebob. Keep it a secret will ya?)


No matter what people say, emotional scars do remain as scars, and it does take time to heal. Don't believe me? Try asking your psychology friends on how long and what situations would help people recover. Harsh environments always never work though.

And no, I'm not getting emo here. Just that at times, I find myself not being the happy-go-lucky guy that's all noisy, but I get all defensive, upset, apologising over and over again (sometimes for no apparent reasons), and perhaps trying too hard with people. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I'm a sanguine and sanguines do want approval of others.

And when these thoughts of insecurity come in, I find myself fighting them head on, wondering if people are being nice to me coz of pity, kindness or just the fact they've known me for long.

But the battle is getting better day-by-day. As I bring every thought to captivity in obedience to Christ, I find it easier to repeat it the next time around, rather than succumbing to my weakness. (and yea, overreacting does make things worse, sigh*) Call me slow, but I just about realised that people like hanging out with people they enjoy being with, people who make them happy.

Now, to blow them away with this new knowledge and some humor!


the best looking of all ultraman heroes, heh!

She ain't fat, she's my bass

Look at that pic, ain't he cool? Been playing the bass for roughly 2 years now, when church required a stand in bassist for those emergency cases, and while bass is easy to pick up, it ain't easy to learn (hmm, remember those bloopers? heheh, and even worse, remember those reactions *gasp*)

One thing you always notice as a musician is what would capture the attention of the crowd, and while people do go, 'Woah, he can keep his tempo' to a good drummer, or 'Wow, he can 'goreng'' to those guitarists, they are most probably going to say,'Dat's sexy!' to the bassist.

The hard part, is that it'll take quite a fair amount of skills before anyone would be oogling their saliva over your playing. And with that comes the word most musicians cringe at, PRACTICE! *gasps*


I would trade my mother-in-law for this, erm, nahh

Don't have a bass to practice yet though, so any help from good Samaritans would be kindly accepted. Come, let's bless this poor kid k? Heh, just message me for my account number...

p/s: Nah, ain't that poor, but if you're selling off your bass or know of anyone who's doing it, do message me here. Thanks!

My preciousssssssssss

Ah! Unlike Gollum, whose precious is the ring, mine are books. Bought a total of rm 270 worth of books the last Times Bookstore sale in Section 13, and got another rm 40 plus this time around.



The farnee thing is, my books seems to be getting lesser! :o It seems like they're going missing somewhere around the house or something. Perhaps some decided to go on a hike to Wonka land huh *sigh* Currently, I could only find 16 of those in my room, whereas there are supposed to be 25 or so. Where are you my precious?

*Leollum frets and suddenly screams so loudly the neighbours wonder what creature has landed, issit Godzilla? Nah, just some deranged topless madman* Heheh


Should've been me, dang

Sorry about that

A good friend's dad passed away last night. My condolences to you. Sorry we can't do much..

Where do you go from here?

Been blog surfing while on a runny nose. Too bad God didn't invent a faucet to stop all those salty tasting liquid that drips out of our noses. And nope, I hate tasting my own produce, but at times it does happen, no? Dropping blogs by old friends, John See, Tehka, Kevin Koay, Su Chen and even Mel, Annette(!), Heidi, Jen and Morbid, I ponder at what style of writing should I use?

Reading Kevin's and Tehka's somehow made me feel that my reflections on my faith is at times simple. After all, I'm a happy-go-lucky person and though I read a lot, I do feel that this isn't the season to read and contemplate more. Perhaps (and I hate to think about it) I was never meant to be a deep thinking theologian, but perhaps more of a guy that loves working with young people.

It's been 3 months since I joined the Project Petaling Street community, and being there, you do need to fish for attention. How else could you get Malaysian bloggers to read your blog if it only caters for Christians?

Imagine a casual reader wanting to find some good stuff to make his day and even perhaps make it a favorite and he clicks on the interesting title you put as a bait for readers (that's the 1st rule in getting PPS readers). Opening it, instead of the interesting content that follows the title, the reader might find it all about God. Interesting perhaps, but not all readers are intellectuals who ponder about faith, unless perhaps something really bad happenned to them. So, who do you fish for, the intellectuals or the casual readers? Heh, I rather fish for the later with my humor as my bait *grins widely*

I do believe though that everyone has a role to play, even in this blogging community. Not everyone's as deep as Annette or Pastor Sivin, but not everyone's as lame as me, heheh. (and yea, I rather keep some thoughts private, in a journal or something)

Till then, my panda eyes are getting worse and the flu ain't getting better.

Tottenham and the footie addict

If you've been a football fan, you would've scoffed at Tottenham's decision to buy more midfield players than they ever need. If you're a Tottenham fan, you might do what I do, that is banging you head upon the wall at the fact that we've more top class midfielders than Arsenal or even perhaps Liverpool.



Yet however, there's optimism when you consider that if our midfielders - Carrick, Jenas, Sean Davis, Teemu Tainio, Routledge, P. Mendes and even the ageing pitbull,Edgar Davids, do blossom, we might be able to sell them off for a fair amount of quid.

Nevertheless, following Frank Arnesen's traitorous move to the darker side of London, I have the feeling that Martin Jol's lost the big picture. True, he's a good coach, but could he play the role of Director of Football as well?



Hmm, anyone up for a wager that Tottenham won't get higher than 6th but no lower than 9th? Heheh, would do a tribal dance if I lost.

Discordant dude

Check out this guy's posts. Unreal stuff that rivals Hedonese. Heheh, wonder if I can achieve such state of serious Christian questions, hmmm, that will be the day the cows fly around with pink polka dots.

Till then!

p/s: Erm, forgot your name, sorry man! But I guess the bump in traffic would do eh?

Band of Brothers

Just nicked this book off the Times bookstore sale for a meagre amount of rm 15. It's a good read about Easy Company and their exploits, which became textbook material in the US army. You wanna read it too? Hah, wait till I'm done! (you can TRY giving me some incentives you know *hint hint*)

p/s: check out the miniseries too, good stuff!
p/s2: Got another book called "500 clean jokes and humorous stories, and how to tell them"

You bet I'll be practising more.