Been listening to some Jars of Clay songs these few days. Here's some pretty nice and yet interesting ones. Do check out the lyrics.
=======================================
The Widowing Field
I’m sure that I could never make it through a night without you here
The fire in the skies illuminates the demons closing in.
Chorus
Have mercy on my soul if I am not the last,
Have mercy on my soul if I am not the last to go.
As I crawl along these trails and fight upon this widowing field.
The ground below is bare and burned in the places I have learned to trust you.
Believe in silence sets my heart to racing.
I will lift my eyes to you, please, Father, find me.
=============================================================
Lonely People
This is for all the lonely people
Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
Ride that highway in the sky
This is for all the single people
Thinkin' that life has left them dry
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
You'll never know until you try
Chorus
Cause, I'm on my way
Yes, I'm on my way
Yeah, i'm on my way back home
This is for all the lonely people
Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
She'll never take you down or never give you up
You'll never know until you try
===================================================
Something Beautiful
[verse]
If you put your arms around me
Could it change the way I feel
I guess I let myself believe
That the outside might just
Bleed it's way in
Maybe stir the sleeping past
Lying under glass
Waiting for the kiss
That breaks this awful spell
Pull me out...of this lonely cell
[chorus]
Close my eyes and hold my heart
Cover me and make me something
Change this something normal
Into something beautiful
[verse]
What I get from my reflection
Isn't what I thought I'd see
Give me reason to believe
Never leave me incomplete
Will you untie this loss of mine
It so easily defines me
Do you see it on my face?
And all I can think about
Is how long
I've been waiting to feel you move me
[chorus]
Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful
[bridge]
And I'm still fighting for the
Word to break these chains
And I still pray when I look
In your eyes, you'll stare right
Back down into something beautiful
[chorus]
Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful
Into something beautiful
Monday, April 25, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Intermission
Wasn't around the last few days. But I'll post something soon, perhaps in 2-3 days time. Do check back then~
God Bless!
God Bless!
Friday, April 08, 2005
A faith to call our own
I like Phillip Yancey's writings. They inspire some serious thinking about how we view our Christianity, our faith and what we believe. Are we living on spoon-fed Christianity that has been instilled from Sunday Schools and Superkids events, all the way to Planetshakers and Youth Alive concerts?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against all those events (heh,was even invited to be on the committee for some of them), but what kind of culture do we feed our youths with? Do we hype them up for the 3 days and 2 nights the conference is held and then leave them on their own? Are we teaching them more about hype and feelings of the moment than providing them a solid foundation for their faith? Are we losing focus?
Phillip Yancey has always forced me to examine my faith. Is my faith my own? If so, then why do I keep giving myself excuses to do the ambigious things that I still do? (hmm, like movies, would you still watch a movie that has nudity although it's a good movie? Or perhaps my temperament too) Reading the book, Soul Survivor, I'm forced to ask myself whether I'm living my faith to the people around me, or am I just another cultural Christian who is comfortable with going to church on Sunday and hanging out with the CF/church bunch, like salt losing it's saltiness.
And reading more, Yancey mentioned about the turbulent times of the 60s as an example, when racism was strife around US. The times when Martin Luther King, though a bible college graduate himself and the son of a pastor, was branded a communist by the Southern Baptist pastors, at his stance of non violent marching against racism. And so much so, they continued marching though beaten and killed, as it was the only way to show the world on how Christianity should be practiced instead of just being spoken. And Martin Luther had to even struggle with forgiving those who hated him, writing a letter that defined his struggles. True, he tried living a life based on the Beatitudes, a series of teachings of Christ that shocked even his own followers back in Jerusalem then.
No, I no longer read books by Tommy Tenney who urge us for more zeal, more faith, or even Benny Hinn, who talks about miracles, visions and prophecies. How much faith can we have, when we live life on zeal alone? And how much can we base our Christian faith on what someone tells us as a prophecy? Would it even be true? I've been burned and let down trying to follow these teachings. How much more zeal do I need to make God happy? And if I fail, is there grace, grace that Tenney didn't talk much about.
No, life is about examination of our faith at certain points of our lives. I like driving around the town, or perhaps just seating at a crowded shopping complex when I have something to think about, some questions on life that I need an answer from God on. And though at times I don't come back with anything, the process of observing people and realising that it's all about showing Christ's love gives me strength to continue calling myself a Christian for another day.
I've grown tired of just going to church, talking some small talk and then resuming back our own lives like we're strangers when we get back. And even more, when the weak, the weird and the quiet gets left out in the church that increasingly looks toward being corporate instead of being what it's originally meant to be, a beacon of hope and love in a community hard up for it. Sivin Kit posted up a link on Christians quitting church for the good of it. The question we have to ask ourselves is, 'Why?' Has the church evolved so much that the needs of the people has been neglected?
On a personal level, I do feel regrets looking back at past photos. There I was, loud, noisy and with a very high level of inferiority complex. Just that I kept hiding my insecurities under the mask of being noisy. And I wonder what would happen if I was different? If I had been the person I am now back then, would I have gotten along more with others? Would life in MMU be so much more colourful? Would I have been more effective giving my hurts to Christ instead of burying myself under a glut of games back then?
Tears fill my eyes as I recount back every single stupidity I've done. But yet, hope fills my heart as I look towards the future. Indeed, changing church and opening up helped me in my pilgrimage as a Christian. No longer do I often glace with self-pity at myself, but I look and see how much can I impact others with Christ, even without mentioning the gospel. After all, bombarding another with claims that they need to be saved, while our lives stinks of pride, judgement and sin, just plain sucks.
I do not know where and how God would lead me from here on. But I do know that it's not just about how much fun and fellowship we can have. After all, we Christians have been branded cliqish and hypocrites by the very people we hope to reach out to. Even my mom complained about her so-called Christian colleagues who went around bad mouthing others. And it's so hard to bring her to church and eventually Christ because of this. (my mom's a buddhist)
Are we going to do anything about it? Are we going to reflect and see how much we've been commisioned to? Are we going to make the faith we call our own as truly our own?
God Bless~
Don't get me wrong, I'm not against all those events (heh,was even invited to be on the committee for some of them), but what kind of culture do we feed our youths with? Do we hype them up for the 3 days and 2 nights the conference is held and then leave them on their own? Are we teaching them more about hype and feelings of the moment than providing them a solid foundation for their faith? Are we losing focus?
Phillip Yancey has always forced me to examine my faith. Is my faith my own? If so, then why do I keep giving myself excuses to do the ambigious things that I still do? (hmm, like movies, would you still watch a movie that has nudity although it's a good movie? Or perhaps my temperament too) Reading the book, Soul Survivor, I'm forced to ask myself whether I'm living my faith to the people around me, or am I just another cultural Christian who is comfortable with going to church on Sunday and hanging out with the CF/church bunch, like salt losing it's saltiness.
And reading more, Yancey mentioned about the turbulent times of the 60s as an example, when racism was strife around US. The times when Martin Luther King, though a bible college graduate himself and the son of a pastor, was branded a communist by the Southern Baptist pastors, at his stance of non violent marching against racism. And so much so, they continued marching though beaten and killed, as it was the only way to show the world on how Christianity should be practiced instead of just being spoken. And Martin Luther had to even struggle with forgiving those who hated him, writing a letter that defined his struggles. True, he tried living a life based on the Beatitudes, a series of teachings of Christ that shocked even his own followers back in Jerusalem then.
No, I no longer read books by Tommy Tenney who urge us for more zeal, more faith, or even Benny Hinn, who talks about miracles, visions and prophecies. How much faith can we have, when we live life on zeal alone? And how much can we base our Christian faith on what someone tells us as a prophecy? Would it even be true? I've been burned and let down trying to follow these teachings. How much more zeal do I need to make God happy? And if I fail, is there grace, grace that Tenney didn't talk much about.
No, life is about examination of our faith at certain points of our lives. I like driving around the town, or perhaps just seating at a crowded shopping complex when I have something to think about, some questions on life that I need an answer from God on. And though at times I don't come back with anything, the process of observing people and realising that it's all about showing Christ's love gives me strength to continue calling myself a Christian for another day.
I've grown tired of just going to church, talking some small talk and then resuming back our own lives like we're strangers when we get back. And even more, when the weak, the weird and the quiet gets left out in the church that increasingly looks toward being corporate instead of being what it's originally meant to be, a beacon of hope and love in a community hard up for it. Sivin Kit posted up a link on Christians quitting church for the good of it. The question we have to ask ourselves is, 'Why?' Has the church evolved so much that the needs of the people has been neglected?
On a personal level, I do feel regrets looking back at past photos. There I was, loud, noisy and with a very high level of inferiority complex. Just that I kept hiding my insecurities under the mask of being noisy. And I wonder what would happen if I was different? If I had been the person I am now back then, would I have gotten along more with others? Would life in MMU be so much more colourful? Would I have been more effective giving my hurts to Christ instead of burying myself under a glut of games back then?
Tears fill my eyes as I recount back every single stupidity I've done. But yet, hope fills my heart as I look towards the future. Indeed, changing church and opening up helped me in my pilgrimage as a Christian. No longer do I often glace with self-pity at myself, but I look and see how much can I impact others with Christ, even without mentioning the gospel. After all, bombarding another with claims that they need to be saved, while our lives stinks of pride, judgement and sin, just plain sucks.
I do not know where and how God would lead me from here on. But I do know that it's not just about how much fun and fellowship we can have. After all, we Christians have been branded cliqish and hypocrites by the very people we hope to reach out to. Even my mom complained about her so-called Christian colleagues who went around bad mouthing others. And it's so hard to bring her to church and eventually Christ because of this. (my mom's a buddhist)
Are we going to do anything about it? Are we going to reflect and see how much we've been commisioned to? Are we going to make the faith we call our own as truly our own?
God Bless~
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
The Yuppie
I finally look like a yuppie! With the new 3100 that I bought, plus the Sony Clie and my wireless Centrino laptop, I could virtually seat around Starbucks with a pair of Raybans and 'try' (note the word try) looking cool while sipping coffee. Haha, so much for first impressions huh? Perhaps I should go there with those gadgets and wear some shorts and a singlet, just like one of those apeks. Gotta show some armpit hair too! Hehehehe..(guess those ah lian girls would be wondering who's the handsome apek yuppie seating around with all his armpit hair showing. Bleh!)
But why upgrade the phone? Reading John's blog on being a minimalist, I do agree that the 3310 is one of the hardiest phones around. But then, I keep my smses, and I loath to decide which to delete. And the 3310 only has space for 10! (compared to the newer models which can store around 150 smses) Plus, you get to transfer your smses to your pc as backup too! :)
Another good reason is dat you can start recycling Christmas and CNY smses, hehe, especially those that look really good. It's indeed a pity I had to delete most of them off. Plus, some took 2 whole days to arrive during Christmas! Imagine getting Christmas wishes on the 27th, while they were sent on the 25th. Hmm, must be that the data packets had to be resent due to a full inbox..
But the main reason has got to do with a failing keypad and battery. I guess I've gotten enough of having to retype smses when the phone suddenly clears everything(!) Haha, I'm shure I'm not the only one here right?
Okay then. Guess I'm gonna go to one of those pasar malams in ss2 or SK to find a cheap RayBan lookalike for my yuppie outfit. Hehe, cheers~!
But why upgrade the phone? Reading John's blog on being a minimalist, I do agree that the 3310 is one of the hardiest phones around. But then, I keep my smses, and I loath to decide which to delete. And the 3310 only has space for 10! (compared to the newer models which can store around 150 smses) Plus, you get to transfer your smses to your pc as backup too! :)
Another good reason is dat you can start recycling Christmas and CNY smses, hehe, especially those that look really good. It's indeed a pity I had to delete most of them off. Plus, some took 2 whole days to arrive during Christmas! Imagine getting Christmas wishes on the 27th, while they were sent on the 25th. Hmm, must be that the data packets had to be resent due to a full inbox..
But the main reason has got to do with a failing keypad and battery. I guess I've gotten enough of having to retype smses when the phone suddenly clears everything(!) Haha, I'm shure I'm not the only one here right?
Okay then. Guess I'm gonna go to one of those pasar malams in ss2 or SK to find a cheap RayBan lookalike for my yuppie outfit. Hehe, cheers~!
Sunday, April 03, 2005
The Tremor
As you know, Northern Sumatra was hit by a tremor measuring 8.2 on the Ritcher scale. And what panic did the aftershock caused over here, with hordes of screaming people scurrying down the stairs (some topless too, with just a towel to preserve their dignity. Hmm, topless guys I mean, heheh)
Anyways, I will not go into detail about what transpired that night other than the fact majority only joined us at Hassan's when they found out that we could get back home at 3:45 am best. And there we were, like jakuns to the entire situation. Perhaps the panic really got to us. Someone (and I won't name who), even forgot her wallet, haha. Must be the tension huh?
Reading through a link on Jennifer's blog, it's important for us to know what to do and how to do it the next time a tremor or worse, earthquake hits. Click here for more details and information
Till then, do thank God that Malaysians were not affected by this.
Anyways, I will not go into detail about what transpired that night other than the fact majority only joined us at Hassan's when they found out that we could get back home at 3:45 am best. And there we were, like jakuns to the entire situation. Perhaps the panic really got to us. Someone (and I won't name who), even forgot her wallet, haha. Must be the tension huh?
Reading through a link on Jennifer's blog, it's important for us to know what to do and how to do it the next time a tremor or worse, earthquake hits. Click here for more details and information
Till then, do thank God that Malaysians were not affected by this.
Friday, April 01, 2005
Inferiority Complex
Do you know how does it feel like to be of a certain age,but not really feeling that you're that age? As I was praying for wisdom these few days, the implications of my age came to me as I was taking a shower. The thought, "Leo, you're 26" came and though I tried brushing it off by claiming that I'll be 26 only on December, it came again. "Leo, you're 26". Wow. I suddenly felt my age.
And with age, comes responsibility and maturity. And at times, I don't have both. I am a rash person who tends to do things at a spur of the moment and perhaps regret later. Nowadays, it's much more controlled, though at times, I still play a fool to my emotions.
And yes, emotions. As someone mentioned, it's ok to have emotions, to feel weak and down. Even upset. But don't let it affect the people around you. I guess, though nowadays I don't go around breaking things or hitting others as I used to back in secondary school, or even storming off a few years back, I still do affect others by claming up and just keeping quiet. And it does destabilizes the atmosphere.
And reflecting back, I remembered one of my youth leaders back then married at 24 (and he was a guy lar), and here I am. Still emotionally wrecked, still harboured in MMU, still wondering if I'm good enough to get through to others. And thoughts came to my head. Life shouldn't be like this! I shouldn't be some whiny guy at my moments of self doubt. But no, it should be much more different.
I was reading a book, while in search of a discussion topic for our CrossRoadz tomorrow. And as I looked at the topics of discussion in the book, the topics inferiority, loneliness and depression caught my interest.
Reading through, I discovered that I'm no chronic depressed person, but a person with inferiority complex. Going through the symptoms and even the reactions and feelings of an inferior person, I matched it quite closely. And no, I wasn't reading on Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung, but a book for counselors and youth workers.
It's so easy to stay depressed while inferiority eats you up from the inside. And it doesn't help when you don't have a good past to look back to. And what more, it breaks when the people around you don't rally to you and tell you that they accept you despite your circumstances or weaknesses. After all, after getting hurt so much, it's easier to build a psychic wall of defence than to plow it through.
But again I'm writing this, times have changed. Annette's words rang through and through again. Words that said, 'Leo, I believe you're amongst a group of people who genuinely care and love you for who you are. After all these years, there is finally a bunch who cares for you. But you gotta learn to make yourself more likeable. Don't be extreme and talk too much at a point,and clamming up at another'
No, my past is dead. After all, God said that we're a new creation. And we need to affirm that with the renewal of our minds. Gone are the times people said, 'you don't belong here..' Those were idiots who didn't know how much damage they done.
Watching the film, 'What's eating Gilbert Grape' last night, I found a guy facing tremendously hard situations. He had a mentally affected brother and many other circumstances that would make us all break sometime or another. And pondering, I find I'm not too bad. Life doesn't give me such a cruel stroke of fate that I had to endure. I just need to know I'm not inferior.
And yea, it's all those inferiority that causes me to try harder with people. After all, I never believed I'm good enough for others. Never good enough with people skills. What a lie. Were the 12 disciples extremely popular people? Was Gideon a person everyone looked up to from the start? What happened to Joseph when he was sold off and then thrown into prison? And did they all go around thinking that they weren't good enough?
God calls, and God equips. I've currently a ministry to run and well, I believe God has given me the gifts and talents nescessary with it. Even when it comes to people. Most of all, I've learnt that when you strive to gain the friendship and approval of someone, it does not work. The intensity might even scare others away. But let God take control. Pray and have faith that God's leading you and me in all matters of our lives
I am good enough!
Amen!
And with age, comes responsibility and maturity. And at times, I don't have both. I am a rash person who tends to do things at a spur of the moment and perhaps regret later. Nowadays, it's much more controlled, though at times, I still play a fool to my emotions.
And yes, emotions. As someone mentioned, it's ok to have emotions, to feel weak and down. Even upset. But don't let it affect the people around you. I guess, though nowadays I don't go around breaking things or hitting others as I used to back in secondary school, or even storming off a few years back, I still do affect others by claming up and just keeping quiet. And it does destabilizes the atmosphere.
And reflecting back, I remembered one of my youth leaders back then married at 24 (and he was a guy lar), and here I am. Still emotionally wrecked, still harboured in MMU, still wondering if I'm good enough to get through to others. And thoughts came to my head. Life shouldn't be like this! I shouldn't be some whiny guy at my moments of self doubt. But no, it should be much more different.
I was reading a book, while in search of a discussion topic for our CrossRoadz tomorrow. And as I looked at the topics of discussion in the book, the topics inferiority, loneliness and depression caught my interest.
Reading through, I discovered that I'm no chronic depressed person, but a person with inferiority complex. Going through the symptoms and even the reactions and feelings of an inferior person, I matched it quite closely. And no, I wasn't reading on Sigmund Freud or Carl Jung, but a book for counselors and youth workers.
It's so easy to stay depressed while inferiority eats you up from the inside. And it doesn't help when you don't have a good past to look back to. And what more, it breaks when the people around you don't rally to you and tell you that they accept you despite your circumstances or weaknesses. After all, after getting hurt so much, it's easier to build a psychic wall of defence than to plow it through.
But again I'm writing this, times have changed. Annette's words rang through and through again. Words that said, 'Leo, I believe you're amongst a group of people who genuinely care and love you for who you are. After all these years, there is finally a bunch who cares for you. But you gotta learn to make yourself more likeable. Don't be extreme and talk too much at a point,and clamming up at another'
No, my past is dead. After all, God said that we're a new creation. And we need to affirm that with the renewal of our minds. Gone are the times people said, 'you don't belong here..' Those were idiots who didn't know how much damage they done.
Watching the film, 'What's eating Gilbert Grape' last night, I found a guy facing tremendously hard situations. He had a mentally affected brother and many other circumstances that would make us all break sometime or another. And pondering, I find I'm not too bad. Life doesn't give me such a cruel stroke of fate that I had to endure. I just need to know I'm not inferior.
And yea, it's all those inferiority that causes me to try harder with people. After all, I never believed I'm good enough for others. Never good enough with people skills. What a lie. Were the 12 disciples extremely popular people? Was Gideon a person everyone looked up to from the start? What happened to Joseph when he was sold off and then thrown into prison? And did they all go around thinking that they weren't good enough?
God calls, and God equips. I've currently a ministry to run and well, I believe God has given me the gifts and talents nescessary with it. Even when it comes to people. Most of all, I've learnt that when you strive to gain the friendship and approval of someone, it does not work. The intensity might even scare others away. But let God take control. Pray and have faith that God's leading you and me in all matters of our lives
I am good enough!
Amen!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Love in a Postmodern Age
Here's a good article I came upon while doing some research on Youth ministries. The original can be found here
-------------------------------------------------------
I asked my five-year-old son to explain love using a story. When he didn't understand the question, I told him to go in his room and pick out a book for me that was about love. He returned empty handed with a big smile. "It was a trick question, wasn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were tricking me. They’re all about love." We went back to his room where he handed me one book after another.
"This boy loves his dog, this mama cat loved her kittens, I love the earth (he had handed me a science book), Jesus loves me (a Child’s Bible)."
Jane Austen once said there are as many types of love as there are moments in time. As Christians, we define love, true love, as a participation in the loving relationship of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We quote the first letter of John: "God is love!" We also point to the reality of sin, recognizing that love can be separated from God, bringing shame and painful isolation. True love is everlasting, sustaining, and honored in commitment and covenant.
In our postmodern world, students are constantly bombarded with the message that love is the end-all-be-all of life; but it’s a skewed perspective on love. When we separation love from God, we discover that pleasure, intensity, and radical giving and receiving leaves us feeling unfulfilled. We become bored, waiting impatiently through life, insatiable for more pleasure, more intensity, and more radical experiences.
Our role is to help kids learn a Cristocentric approach to love, founded on biblical principles and using the trinitarian nature of God as a model.
"Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 19:19)
Four high school teens were driving around the strip malls and businesses near the airport, soliciting ads for their high school musical. They approached a business front marked "Dry Cleaning" and tried the front door. Finding it locked, they rang the bell. An oriental woman answered; behind her two young oriental girls peered out. The kids explained their business and were promptly sent on their way.
"I remember now," one of the boys said on the drive to the next store front. "My brother told me the dry cleaning place is actually a house of prostitutes."
Three of them laughed uproariously at the thought of a brothel ad in the program for "The Sound of Music."
A fourth student painfully looked back toward the house. Later, over sundaes, she told them what she knew about child prostitution and the sex trade of children. Commercial sexual exploitation of children is a multi-billion dollar industry drawing one million children worldwide. Most of the children are ages 13 to 18, although some younger than five have been documented. One study found 60 to 70 percent of child prostitutes in Thailand were HIV positive. Poverty, illiteracy, and abuse define their much of lives.
The girls they saw were taken to prayer. News of them went to parents, and finally to police, who admitted frustration that locations would simply move and the girls would be deported back home where little resources were available to provide an alternate life.
Agape. We’re called by God to love our neighbor. A love that’s spiritual (God’s Spirit in us) and selfless. A love revealed by Jesus. A love that acknowledges the distinct reality of what is other than us, and loves it for its sake, not our own. It’s the love of the Good Samaritan and the Ancient Mariner blessing creation unaware. It’s denied when the dignity of life is denied.
"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13)
They spent hours together walking the park at the school picnic. He poured his heart out about the pain in his life, a mother who might move, his best friend and girlfriend now in a relationship, and a failing grade in biology. She listened and understood, returning home that night sure a true friendship had begun. The next day in school he didn’t even return a hello.
Postmodern reality includes a painful search to find others who respond as we believe they should. A few become part of a tribe, a group of friends who live by a code of confidentiality and reciprocal kindness. Some find a companion to share life’s sorrows and joys. Many struggle with how to respond to their desires for connection, particularly in a culture that models almost exclusively just the sexual expression of that desire.
Philia is the ancient Greek word for friendship. Desire is part of the relationship. We choose our friends; we desire to be with them and delight in what we share. Tolerance is balanced with similar convictions and interests. Openness is balanced with a respect for what’s private to each individual. Mutual dependence is balanced by enabling the independence of each other.
Men, with rooms filled with trophies and certificates, often form friendships with teammates, coworkers, and other men equal in ability and achievement. Women, with rooms filled with photos and memories, often form friendships based on the level of emotional confidentiality they can share. But each friendship is unique, growing through a gradual unfolding of self-revelation, and seasoned by culture and time.
Postmodern seekers long for Koinonia, fellowship in community, a relationship with others who (try, yet sometimes fail to) share a common morality of what relationships and friendships mean. We desire to share with others a love of God and mission in the world. We tolerate our differences while sharing in a life of the Spirit. Some of us battle being too large and not being able to name the people with whom we worship. When we form small groups to build community, we can become exclusive and fail in our mission to reach out to the outcast. Only in opening ourselves to the movements of the Holy Spirit can we truly share a Philia love in our midst.
"…that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us." (John 17:21)
Eros, again returning to ancient Greek, is desire, a power that inclines us to pursue the whole, which we are not. It’s a hunger within us for self-completion in the desired or loved object. While it can be expressed in sexual desire, that’s not the only expression of Eros.
Some Christian writers in history falsely separated Eros and Agape. They described God’s love for us as wholly selfless—God is unchanged whether or not we return it…that part is true. God doesn’t need us to be complete. Human love, on the other hand, always includes a selfish element (even a martyr awaits a heavenly reward). We are incomplete without God. We’re created for community. It’s only when we make a gift of ourselves to another that we come to understand who we are.
Other Christian writers start with God’s love for the Son, the Son’s love for the Father, and the loving relationship of the three persons of the Trinity. With this starting point, God’s love is not selfless, but mutual. In his last supper discourses, Jesus describes his mission of love; "I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them" (John 17:26). It is male and female together (Genesis 1:27), humans in a loving relationship, which are the image of God. Eros is a desire to share in the loving relationship of the Father, Son, and Spirit. This desire for mutuality impels us to work for justice, solidarity, and a civilization of love, which is indicative of the postmodrn mindset.
One of our teen leaders approached me during an out-of-town conference. She was disillusioned and frustrated. The year before, she’d spent three weeks in the third world on a mission trip. She’d become dramatically aware of the difference even a small amount of money can make in the future of one child, one family, and one village. Her friends were filling conference time with shopping—spending hundreds of dollars on clothes and shoes and music. She felt their desire to consume material goods was blinding them to any benefits of the conference.
The advertising industry has learned to tap into Eros. They profit when people believe they’ll find self-completion or some sense of happiness when their products are used. Much of this manipulation involves the sexual element of Eros.
When this teen leader returned from the third world, she wanted to stay connected with the poor of the world. This desire compelled her to use her money to help them share in good health, a full stomach, and the joys of a God-inspired life. The teens who were shopping wanted a connection to their peers and their community. Both experiences could be described as the wings of Eros lifting them to share in the loving relationship of the Trinity. But Eros only lifts us so high. Prayer, commitment, and living in God’s covenant can carry us into intimate unity with God. Separated from God, Eros becomes twisted, a justification to overpower and subjugate others, or a rationalization to pursue only selfish goals.
"Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine…" (Song of Songs 1:2)
Pope John Paul II has described the ecstasy experienced in the sexual union of a husband and wife as a foretaste of the ecstasy we’ll experience when united with God in eternity. The sexual aspect of love is often given the name Venus. When placed in the context of the love of the Trinity, sexual love becomes ordered. For a Christian, commandment and covenant structure how our sexuality is to be expressed in all our loving relationships.
A sixteen-year-old recently shared: "We were sitting in the movies together, our first date. We had gone to see Matrix Reloaded. Part way through the movie his hand reached out and embraced mine. I was thinking, ‘how romantic’ when Neo and Trinity, the two main characters, left the dance floor and began a nine-minute, very explicit sexual encounter. I didn’t want to seem a prude, but as he held my hand and the scene continued, I started to feel so embarrassed."
In our postmodern world, the ideal of love is rejected by many; and it’s so very hard to live by, even for Christians. Many people jump into a sexual relationship assuming shared values, then later find that they define a loving relationship very differently from their partners. Others find it impossible to be faithful, giving way to the barrage of sexuality divorced from spirituality.
Love in a postmodern world requires patience and dialogue. Each song, movie, television show, and advertisement is an opportunity to introduce the Triune God. Every discussion of friendship, dating, and love becomes an opportunity to invite the postmodern world to share in the loving relationship with God.
-------------------------------------------------------
I asked my five-year-old son to explain love using a story. When he didn't understand the question, I told him to go in his room and pick out a book for me that was about love. He returned empty handed with a big smile. "It was a trick question, wasn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were tricking me. They’re all about love." We went back to his room where he handed me one book after another.
"This boy loves his dog, this mama cat loved her kittens, I love the earth (he had handed me a science book), Jesus loves me (a Child’s Bible)."
Jane Austen once said there are as many types of love as there are moments in time. As Christians, we define love, true love, as a participation in the loving relationship of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We quote the first letter of John: "God is love!" We also point to the reality of sin, recognizing that love can be separated from God, bringing shame and painful isolation. True love is everlasting, sustaining, and honored in commitment and covenant.
In our postmodern world, students are constantly bombarded with the message that love is the end-all-be-all of life; but it’s a skewed perspective on love. When we separation love from God, we discover that pleasure, intensity, and radical giving and receiving leaves us feeling unfulfilled. We become bored, waiting impatiently through life, insatiable for more pleasure, more intensity, and more radical experiences.
Our role is to help kids learn a Cristocentric approach to love, founded on biblical principles and using the trinitarian nature of God as a model.
"Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 19:19)
Four high school teens were driving around the strip malls and businesses near the airport, soliciting ads for their high school musical. They approached a business front marked "Dry Cleaning" and tried the front door. Finding it locked, they rang the bell. An oriental woman answered; behind her two young oriental girls peered out. The kids explained their business and were promptly sent on their way.
"I remember now," one of the boys said on the drive to the next store front. "My brother told me the dry cleaning place is actually a house of prostitutes."
Three of them laughed uproariously at the thought of a brothel ad in the program for "The Sound of Music."
A fourth student painfully looked back toward the house. Later, over sundaes, she told them what she knew about child prostitution and the sex trade of children. Commercial sexual exploitation of children is a multi-billion dollar industry drawing one million children worldwide. Most of the children are ages 13 to 18, although some younger than five have been documented. One study found 60 to 70 percent of child prostitutes in Thailand were HIV positive. Poverty, illiteracy, and abuse define their much of lives.
The girls they saw were taken to prayer. News of them went to parents, and finally to police, who admitted frustration that locations would simply move and the girls would be deported back home where little resources were available to provide an alternate life.
Agape. We’re called by God to love our neighbor. A love that’s spiritual (God’s Spirit in us) and selfless. A love revealed by Jesus. A love that acknowledges the distinct reality of what is other than us, and loves it for its sake, not our own. It’s the love of the Good Samaritan and the Ancient Mariner blessing creation unaware. It’s denied when the dignity of life is denied.
"No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." (John 15:13)
They spent hours together walking the park at the school picnic. He poured his heart out about the pain in his life, a mother who might move, his best friend and girlfriend now in a relationship, and a failing grade in biology. She listened and understood, returning home that night sure a true friendship had begun. The next day in school he didn’t even return a hello.
Postmodern reality includes a painful search to find others who respond as we believe they should. A few become part of a tribe, a group of friends who live by a code of confidentiality and reciprocal kindness. Some find a companion to share life’s sorrows and joys. Many struggle with how to respond to their desires for connection, particularly in a culture that models almost exclusively just the sexual expression of that desire.
Philia is the ancient Greek word for friendship. Desire is part of the relationship. We choose our friends; we desire to be with them and delight in what we share. Tolerance is balanced with similar convictions and interests. Openness is balanced with a respect for what’s private to each individual. Mutual dependence is balanced by enabling the independence of each other.
Men, with rooms filled with trophies and certificates, often form friendships with teammates, coworkers, and other men equal in ability and achievement. Women, with rooms filled with photos and memories, often form friendships based on the level of emotional confidentiality they can share. But each friendship is unique, growing through a gradual unfolding of self-revelation, and seasoned by culture and time.
Postmodern seekers long for Koinonia, fellowship in community, a relationship with others who (try, yet sometimes fail to) share a common morality of what relationships and friendships mean. We desire to share with others a love of God and mission in the world. We tolerate our differences while sharing in a life of the Spirit. Some of us battle being too large and not being able to name the people with whom we worship. When we form small groups to build community, we can become exclusive and fail in our mission to reach out to the outcast. Only in opening ourselves to the movements of the Holy Spirit can we truly share a Philia love in our midst.
"…that they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be in us." (John 17:21)
Eros, again returning to ancient Greek, is desire, a power that inclines us to pursue the whole, which we are not. It’s a hunger within us for self-completion in the desired or loved object. While it can be expressed in sexual desire, that’s not the only expression of Eros.
Some Christian writers in history falsely separated Eros and Agape. They described God’s love for us as wholly selfless—God is unchanged whether or not we return it…that part is true. God doesn’t need us to be complete. Human love, on the other hand, always includes a selfish element (even a martyr awaits a heavenly reward). We are incomplete without God. We’re created for community. It’s only when we make a gift of ourselves to another that we come to understand who we are.
Other Christian writers start with God’s love for the Son, the Son’s love for the Father, and the loving relationship of the three persons of the Trinity. With this starting point, God’s love is not selfless, but mutual. In his last supper discourses, Jesus describes his mission of love; "I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you loved me may be in them, and I in them" (John 17:26). It is male and female together (Genesis 1:27), humans in a loving relationship, which are the image of God. Eros is a desire to share in the loving relationship of the Father, Son, and Spirit. This desire for mutuality impels us to work for justice, solidarity, and a civilization of love, which is indicative of the postmodrn mindset.
One of our teen leaders approached me during an out-of-town conference. She was disillusioned and frustrated. The year before, she’d spent three weeks in the third world on a mission trip. She’d become dramatically aware of the difference even a small amount of money can make in the future of one child, one family, and one village. Her friends were filling conference time with shopping—spending hundreds of dollars on clothes and shoes and music. She felt their desire to consume material goods was blinding them to any benefits of the conference.
The advertising industry has learned to tap into Eros. They profit when people believe they’ll find self-completion or some sense of happiness when their products are used. Much of this manipulation involves the sexual element of Eros.
When this teen leader returned from the third world, she wanted to stay connected with the poor of the world. This desire compelled her to use her money to help them share in good health, a full stomach, and the joys of a God-inspired life. The teens who were shopping wanted a connection to their peers and their community. Both experiences could be described as the wings of Eros lifting them to share in the loving relationship of the Trinity. But Eros only lifts us so high. Prayer, commitment, and living in God’s covenant can carry us into intimate unity with God. Separated from God, Eros becomes twisted, a justification to overpower and subjugate others, or a rationalization to pursue only selfish goals.
"Let him kiss me with kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine…" (Song of Songs 1:2)
Pope John Paul II has described the ecstasy experienced in the sexual union of a husband and wife as a foretaste of the ecstasy we’ll experience when united with God in eternity. The sexual aspect of love is often given the name Venus. When placed in the context of the love of the Trinity, sexual love becomes ordered. For a Christian, commandment and covenant structure how our sexuality is to be expressed in all our loving relationships.
A sixteen-year-old recently shared: "We were sitting in the movies together, our first date. We had gone to see Matrix Reloaded. Part way through the movie his hand reached out and embraced mine. I was thinking, ‘how romantic’ when Neo and Trinity, the two main characters, left the dance floor and began a nine-minute, very explicit sexual encounter. I didn’t want to seem a prude, but as he held my hand and the scene continued, I started to feel so embarrassed."
In our postmodern world, the ideal of love is rejected by many; and it’s so very hard to live by, even for Christians. Many people jump into a sexual relationship assuming shared values, then later find that they define a loving relationship very differently from their partners. Others find it impossible to be faithful, giving way to the barrage of sexuality divorced from spirituality.
Love in a postmodern world requires patience and dialogue. Each song, movie, television show, and advertisement is an opportunity to introduce the Triune God. Every discussion of friendship, dating, and love becomes an opportunity to invite the postmodern world to share in the loving relationship with God.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Good Friday
If we consider how utterly undeserved [the crucifixion] was, we call it grace; if we consider the cost, we call it atonement; if we consider the effect, we call it new life, redemption, sanctification.
Austin Farrer, A Faith of Our Own
It's Good Friday already! Wow, time flies, and yea, there were calls for me to write more here. Guess I'm adopting a policy of writing less unless I feel I can write something substantial or interesting here. No point writing for the sake of filling up space, right?
Pondering upon Good Friday, I was reminded of the movie, Passion of the Christ yet again. As one of the best done and researched movie about Christ, it tells us of the time Christ got arrested, the unfairness of His trials, the tearing of his flesh as the thorn-filled whip graced it and finally, the how a man, welcomed on a donkey a week before, had turned into a public enemy. And so much more, that they even chose to release a murderer, instead of him.
Overzealous may not seem an extreme word to describe their faith, and perhaps they really wanted to serve God. But was their zealousness tempered by the want of political power, the need for public adoration and the way they think they're actually preserving God's laws? That is, until a certain man calling himself Jesus Christ came about breaking their laws and called them their religiousity, "White washed tombs"
Christ died and rose again 3 days later. Christ came as a revolutionary, but yet, many misunderstood Him as someone who would wage a war. And when Christ gave the sermon on the mount, many were left stunned, dumb founded and amazed. Here was his chance to raise an army that could actually overthrow the oppresive Roman Empire, and there he was exalting the weak and saying that theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Has he gone cuckoos? Who was he actually? I'm sure the disciples were as equally dumbfounded by their leader.
And, reading thru Sivin Kit's blog, which had a link to thoughts on the Cruxification of Christ, I would like us to ask ourselves. Have we taken God's grace for granted? Have we been too numbed to the pain of the Cross? Has our lives been too preoccupied with our wants, our insecurities and our hurts, so much so that we miss out on what does God actually wants us to do for the moment?
I don't claim to have the answers, and well, I've none. To tell the truth, I struggled with issues of self-image, anger & depression between last year's Good Friday and this. But yet, I'm taught again and again, that God's in control. I've promised myself not to look at situations from a point of whether others would like me or for that point, hate me(and after all, it's all insecurities. And when the facade drops, would they still like you?), but from a point of where could I be God's blessing to others. Life isn't about being selfish, scared or even about running away. But know, and believe that God's in control..
Looking back, time did pass us by fast. Last Easter, there we were, Alvin, Dwong, Mel, Charis and me. Going for a hang out session after our finals,and following it up with the Good Friday service at FGA. And now, it's another Good Friday! Boy, I'm another year older too..
On less serious stuff, I might be changing over to Digi postpaid this weekend. Running Crossroadz requires me to call more often than I would have needed to previously. And Digi's Optimum plan does look good in the long term, and well, Maxis' plan 75 does not allow us to carry forward our remaining credit. So then, goodbye Maxis! And salut Digi!
Guess dat's it, have a blessed Easter!
Austin Farrer, A Faith of Our Own
It's Good Friday already! Wow, time flies, and yea, there were calls for me to write more here. Guess I'm adopting a policy of writing less unless I feel I can write something substantial or interesting here. No point writing for the sake of filling up space, right?
Pondering upon Good Friday, I was reminded of the movie, Passion of the Christ yet again. As one of the best done and researched movie about Christ, it tells us of the time Christ got arrested, the unfairness of His trials, the tearing of his flesh as the thorn-filled whip graced it and finally, the how a man, welcomed on a donkey a week before, had turned into a public enemy. And so much more, that they even chose to release a murderer, instead of him.
Overzealous may not seem an extreme word to describe their faith, and perhaps they really wanted to serve God. But was their zealousness tempered by the want of political power, the need for public adoration and the way they think they're actually preserving God's laws? That is, until a certain man calling himself Jesus Christ came about breaking their laws and called them their religiousity, "White washed tombs"
Christ died and rose again 3 days later. Christ came as a revolutionary, but yet, many misunderstood Him as someone who would wage a war. And when Christ gave the sermon on the mount, many were left stunned, dumb founded and amazed. Here was his chance to raise an army that could actually overthrow the oppresive Roman Empire, and there he was exalting the weak and saying that theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Has he gone cuckoos? Who was he actually? I'm sure the disciples were as equally dumbfounded by their leader.
And, reading thru Sivin Kit's blog, which had a link to thoughts on the Cruxification of Christ, I would like us to ask ourselves. Have we taken God's grace for granted? Have we been too numbed to the pain of the Cross? Has our lives been too preoccupied with our wants, our insecurities and our hurts, so much so that we miss out on what does God actually wants us to do for the moment?
I don't claim to have the answers, and well, I've none. To tell the truth, I struggled with issues of self-image, anger & depression between last year's Good Friday and this. But yet, I'm taught again and again, that God's in control. I've promised myself not to look at situations from a point of whether others would like me or for that point, hate me(and after all, it's all insecurities. And when the facade drops, would they still like you?), but from a point of where could I be God's blessing to others. Life isn't about being selfish, scared or even about running away. But know, and believe that God's in control..
Looking back, time did pass us by fast. Last Easter, there we were, Alvin, Dwong, Mel, Charis and me. Going for a hang out session after our finals,and following it up with the Good Friday service at FGA. And now, it's another Good Friday! Boy, I'm another year older too..
On less serious stuff, I might be changing over to Digi postpaid this weekend. Running Crossroadz requires me to call more often than I would have needed to previously. And Digi's Optimum plan does look good in the long term, and well, Maxis' plan 75 does not allow us to carry forward our remaining credit. So then, goodbye Maxis! And salut Digi!
Guess dat's it, have a blessed Easter!
Sunday, March 13, 2005
It's been nine years
The news of Anjeet's funeral still stayed fresh in my mind. Anjeet, a friend from secondary school, my fellow Young Enterpreneur and also, the hot punjabi chick that got the attention of the indian guys and beyond.
She was also my fellow HELP institute friend, although we had different degrees, with mine, the ever crazy Bachelor of Economics from University of London, and hers, hmm, American Degree Program I suppose.
And it was a shock to hear her death. It's so soon, so fast and she's too young to die. After all, she just got married last year. And well, frankly speaking, her funeral was another of those gathering for all of us since the times of form 5. Most of us hardly met, except in our own comfortable groups, people we hanged out with.
And what an irony, cause, just 3 weeks before that, the reason why we met was to celebrate Wei Hoong's wedding. 9 years. It has been too long. Too long since we last sat down and thought about life. Life that swept us by, from childhood dreams, to realisation of the harshness of the real world.
It was good too, to be able to meet up with the girl I once had something for. Wei Mun was, in every sense, everybody's dream girl. She was smart, witty, pretty and well, most importantly, kind. And the thing is, she did not had to flirt to gain attention. I was anxious to see how she had turned out to be, yet, well, a bit worried on what she might think of me after all these years. Good thing was well, it went better than expected.
The guys that went around labelling me a loser, well, they came for the wedding too. The whole bunch of them, minus a couple of others. Some still held the air of aloofness with them when you greeted them. 9 years on, and well, it's a pretty sad sight to see this happening. Though, others warmed up and were able to joke about things. Guess that they've grown up huh?
And well, my gang. My group of friends. Some of them whom I walked home from school almost everyday. Others, we sat around the football field in the middle of the night at 3 am, just looking at the stars. There was our favorite mamak spot around ss3. The times we sat around, trying to pick up some songs off Sukhwinder. The times we got excited meeting chicks from some girls school. And yea, those Americans too.
The times we spent making fun of Abdullah. Ah, I'm surprised to remember sneaking into Sunway Lagoon a number of times with Jack. And there we were, 2 guys, just hanging out on the suspended bridge in the evenings. Looking, pondering and well, trying to make meaning out of life. Jack's now a self-made millionaire a few times over. And nope, he didn't get help from his dad, who was a newspaper editor.
The funny thing? Jack and me both had something for Wei Mun once. And he was with me in my sorrows and in my countless depressing poems. Perhaps life wasn't that bad if you took out that element. But then, what would life be, without the pains and the joys?
I guess, I'll be the last one out of university and to work in a proper job. True, you could say working as a waiter at Chili's and as a trainee Engineer are proper jobs too. But yet, there you are, not fighting for a living. Here, the real world awaits. With my God behind me too, I guess.
Looking at my bunch of friends, many of them still looked the same, with perhaps a difference in a wrinkle or two. Some thinner and some horizontally blessed. But yet, our topics of conversation has changed. It's not so much about the latest movie we've seen (though we do that to people we meet often) nor even jobs and pay and perhaps degrees, that was when the first of us graduated. But no, it's more about anxiously finding out how each other had been. Who cares about how popular we were back in secondary school? Life is indeed fragile and fast moving, why bother holding grudges?
Many first came out working believing that money and success up the corporate ladder represents everything. Some still do. But yet, for those who've been there, they've realised that the rat race does not nescessarily equate to happiness.
And as I look upon myself, making my first strides towards the working world, I keep asking myself, 'Would I give up my dream, my God given dream for money, fame or love?' And I would tell myself, no. Not even love. I want to love God more, I want to serve God more, and I know I'm a pretty stubborn guy. Kudos to my Pastor for putting up with me. She helped instill confidence in a guy that would just sit in the corner of church. Ask Jeff that, and he'll tell you more, right Jeff?
As I end this writing, I want to have more reunions. More catching up with the rest of '96 batch of Seaportians. It's quite hard to just meet up when someone gets married or dies. And well, this is a community I wouldn't want to give up on.
God Bless~!
She was also my fellow HELP institute friend, although we had different degrees, with mine, the ever crazy Bachelor of Economics from University of London, and hers, hmm, American Degree Program I suppose.
And it was a shock to hear her death. It's so soon, so fast and she's too young to die. After all, she just got married last year. And well, frankly speaking, her funeral was another of those gathering for all of us since the times of form 5. Most of us hardly met, except in our own comfortable groups, people we hanged out with.
And what an irony, cause, just 3 weeks before that, the reason why we met was to celebrate Wei Hoong's wedding. 9 years. It has been too long. Too long since we last sat down and thought about life. Life that swept us by, from childhood dreams, to realisation of the harshness of the real world.
It was good too, to be able to meet up with the girl I once had something for. Wei Mun was, in every sense, everybody's dream girl. She was smart, witty, pretty and well, most importantly, kind. And the thing is, she did not had to flirt to gain attention. I was anxious to see how she had turned out to be, yet, well, a bit worried on what she might think of me after all these years. Good thing was well, it went better than expected.
The guys that went around labelling me a loser, well, they came for the wedding too. The whole bunch of them, minus a couple of others. Some still held the air of aloofness with them when you greeted them. 9 years on, and well, it's a pretty sad sight to see this happening. Though, others warmed up and were able to joke about things. Guess that they've grown up huh?
And well, my gang. My group of friends. Some of them whom I walked home from school almost everyday. Others, we sat around the football field in the middle of the night at 3 am, just looking at the stars. There was our favorite mamak spot around ss3. The times we sat around, trying to pick up some songs off Sukhwinder. The times we got excited meeting chicks from some girls school. And yea, those Americans too.
The times we spent making fun of Abdullah. Ah, I'm surprised to remember sneaking into Sunway Lagoon a number of times with Jack. And there we were, 2 guys, just hanging out on the suspended bridge in the evenings. Looking, pondering and well, trying to make meaning out of life. Jack's now a self-made millionaire a few times over. And nope, he didn't get help from his dad, who was a newspaper editor.
The funny thing? Jack and me both had something for Wei Mun once. And he was with me in my sorrows and in my countless depressing poems. Perhaps life wasn't that bad if you took out that element. But then, what would life be, without the pains and the joys?
I guess, I'll be the last one out of university and to work in a proper job. True, you could say working as a waiter at Chili's and as a trainee Engineer are proper jobs too. But yet, there you are, not fighting for a living. Here, the real world awaits. With my God behind me too, I guess.
Looking at my bunch of friends, many of them still looked the same, with perhaps a difference in a wrinkle or two. Some thinner and some horizontally blessed. But yet, our topics of conversation has changed. It's not so much about the latest movie we've seen (though we do that to people we meet often) nor even jobs and pay and perhaps degrees, that was when the first of us graduated. But no, it's more about anxiously finding out how each other had been. Who cares about how popular we were back in secondary school? Life is indeed fragile and fast moving, why bother holding grudges?
Many first came out working believing that money and success up the corporate ladder represents everything. Some still do. But yet, for those who've been there, they've realised that the rat race does not nescessarily equate to happiness.
And as I look upon myself, making my first strides towards the working world, I keep asking myself, 'Would I give up my dream, my God given dream for money, fame or love?' And I would tell myself, no. Not even love. I want to love God more, I want to serve God more, and I know I'm a pretty stubborn guy. Kudos to my Pastor for putting up with me. She helped instill confidence in a guy that would just sit in the corner of church. Ask Jeff that, and he'll tell you more, right Jeff?
As I end this writing, I want to have more reunions. More catching up with the rest of '96 batch of Seaportians. It's quite hard to just meet up when someone gets married or dies. And well, this is a community I wouldn't want to give up on.
God Bless~!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Slow Cooker Christianity
I was brought to realisation that Christianity is indeed a slow process of being Christ-like in nature. And sure enough, it's more of a marathon run instead of a 100 meter race.
Back then, I used to believe that it's all about jumping around for Christ when there's a praise song, that it's all about how big the church/CF could ever grow, that it's all about being gung-ho about our Christianity. I even reduced my listening to Hillsongs and mostly talked about Christianity and salvation to my friends. It became so bad, that at a point of time, I couldn't maintain a decent conversation on any other topics other than Christianity and Politics.
Slow Cooker Christianity. This writing certainly has been a slow cooker one too. Slow Cooker as in, nowadays, most churches are targeting hype and the buildup of emotions in concerts to reach out. And at times, they tend to lose focus of the big picture. Is Christianity a thing you get high on every camp and concert? Or is it something more than that?
Slow Cooker Christianity because I believe God's still moulding me and shaping me. Yea, true, you might say I'm oversensitive. But then, there was so much scars from hurtful remarks and actions. I guess I've to learn to love. And love myself, God and the people around me.
And as I looked at 1st Timothy and 1st Corinthians, about the requirements of an overseer and also on love, I find that there are many things I've to learn. I need to learn to be temperate, gentle and not quarrelsome. And on the aspect of love, I need to learn to not behave rudely, not be provoked, thinks no evil, bear all things, believe all things and endure all things. That's the magnitude of love, agape love in the bible.
And if you look at 1st Corinthians 13, you'll find that love is mentioned sandwiched between spiritual gifts and also prophecy and tongues. This is God's love, beyond those we see on the LCD plasma TVs and all.
Yea, and well, I believe that something new God's teaching me is to invest in other people's life. Invest in building a community instead of trying to grow a large youth group.
It's not easy, to run the race. It's never easy to be moulded by God in a certain way. After all, it's always much easier to sit back and let things be the way they are.
Help me God on these issues.
God Bless~
Back then, I used to believe that it's all about jumping around for Christ when there's a praise song, that it's all about how big the church/CF could ever grow, that it's all about being gung-ho about our Christianity. I even reduced my listening to Hillsongs and mostly talked about Christianity and salvation to my friends. It became so bad, that at a point of time, I couldn't maintain a decent conversation on any other topics other than Christianity and Politics.
Slow Cooker Christianity. This writing certainly has been a slow cooker one too. Slow Cooker as in, nowadays, most churches are targeting hype and the buildup of emotions in concerts to reach out. And at times, they tend to lose focus of the big picture. Is Christianity a thing you get high on every camp and concert? Or is it something more than that?
Slow Cooker Christianity because I believe God's still moulding me and shaping me. Yea, true, you might say I'm oversensitive. But then, there was so much scars from hurtful remarks and actions. I guess I've to learn to love. And love myself, God and the people around me.
And as I looked at 1st Timothy and 1st Corinthians, about the requirements of an overseer and also on love, I find that there are many things I've to learn. I need to learn to be temperate, gentle and not quarrelsome. And on the aspect of love, I need to learn to not behave rudely, not be provoked, thinks no evil, bear all things, believe all things and endure all things. That's the magnitude of love, agape love in the bible.
And if you look at 1st Corinthians 13, you'll find that love is mentioned sandwiched between spiritual gifts and also prophecy and tongues. This is God's love, beyond those we see on the LCD plasma TVs and all.
Yea, and well, I believe that something new God's teaching me is to invest in other people's life. Invest in building a community instead of trying to grow a large youth group.
It's not easy, to run the race. It's never easy to be moulded by God in a certain way. After all, it's always much easier to sit back and let things be the way they are.
Help me God on these issues.
God Bless~
Friday, February 25, 2005
Politics and the church
The state of the Malaysian church sometimes stand at a precarious position. The Malaysian Government, pushed by PAS to declare the nation as an official Islamic state, were at times at their wits end to counter that suggestion.
Why the precariousity of declaring Malaysia as an Islamic state? It's because, the moment Malaysia is declared as an official Islamic state, we most probably would have to apply Islamic law in all aspects in our lives. It'll no longer be Syariah and Civil courts. It'll just be Syariah courts all the way.
And what about the state of the churches, temples and places of worship? If there weren't any counterbalancing points within the government, I guess, we could eventually either decide to convert, or to meet in hiding. After all, they are already trying to ban CFs from schools and also making the application of church buildings tremendously hard.
Ha! Why the sudden serious writing on politics? Well, I'm not commenting on what's going on behind the scenes (don't really knoe much there either lar), but I do believe there'll come a time for Malaysian Christians take up roles within the government and eventually, the Cabinet itself.
Governments are put in place by God. Look at the old testament, and you'll see dat Israel had Babylonians and Assyrians governing over them. New Testament had Romans as rulers of the Jews. And did it all come without the permission of God? No, I believe God's in control. There's a reason why the government we have is in place it is today.
However, we, the Malaysian church, should not slack. Let's all vote when the time comes. And let those called into politics do so. After all, God gave gifts and callings to everyone. If a Pastor would not pastor, but enter business, then who else would take care of the flock? In the same way, let those called to politics do it, and do it well.
We all talk about revival in Malaysia. Frankly, with the current political climate, I hardly think it's possible. At least for the time being. Let's not all be comfortable in church and call politics a dirty old game. True, it's dirty, but well, someone's gotta do it, right? And I believe, with God's blessings, integrity would help the future aspiring Malaysian Christian politicians. After all, look at Daniel and Joseph.
Yep, guess dats it. Do remember to pray for our political climate. Pray for God's favour to continue to reign and dat persecution won't come so soon (it'll eventually I guess). Our Christian lives isn't just about being comfortable or thinking about our own needs all the time.
God Bless~
Why the precariousity of declaring Malaysia as an Islamic state? It's because, the moment Malaysia is declared as an official Islamic state, we most probably would have to apply Islamic law in all aspects in our lives. It'll no longer be Syariah and Civil courts. It'll just be Syariah courts all the way.
And what about the state of the churches, temples and places of worship? If there weren't any counterbalancing points within the government, I guess, we could eventually either decide to convert, or to meet in hiding. After all, they are already trying to ban CFs from schools and also making the application of church buildings tremendously hard.
Ha! Why the sudden serious writing on politics? Well, I'm not commenting on what's going on behind the scenes (don't really knoe much there either lar), but I do believe there'll come a time for Malaysian Christians take up roles within the government and eventually, the Cabinet itself.
Governments are put in place by God. Look at the old testament, and you'll see dat Israel had Babylonians and Assyrians governing over them. New Testament had Romans as rulers of the Jews. And did it all come without the permission of God? No, I believe God's in control. There's a reason why the government we have is in place it is today.
However, we, the Malaysian church, should not slack. Let's all vote when the time comes. And let those called into politics do so. After all, God gave gifts and callings to everyone. If a Pastor would not pastor, but enter business, then who else would take care of the flock? In the same way, let those called to politics do it, and do it well.
We all talk about revival in Malaysia. Frankly, with the current political climate, I hardly think it's possible. At least for the time being. Let's not all be comfortable in church and call politics a dirty old game. True, it's dirty, but well, someone's gotta do it, right? And I believe, with God's blessings, integrity would help the future aspiring Malaysian Christian politicians. After all, look at Daniel and Joseph.
Yep, guess dats it. Do remember to pray for our political climate. Pray for God's favour to continue to reign and dat persecution won't come so soon (it'll eventually I guess). Our Christian lives isn't just about being comfortable or thinking about our own needs all the time.
God Bless~
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Building a genuine community
Running a church certainly isn't easy. As we (my Pastor and I), drew up the blueprints for our Youth/Young Adults ministry in church, we basically targeted on building relationships, maintaining them and forming an authentic community. But yet, as she wanted more emphasis on community building, I couldn't really get her, as I wanted us to begin evangelism work around the area.
However, reading through Sivin Kit's blog about issues churches face now, including the yearning of a genuine community and spirituality versus the the idea of a church just being a fuzzy-huggy club, I realised, 'Hey, ya! This is the way we should actually go!'
I mean, after all, the attraction of some sweet young thing (or buffed up guy for the females) might hold our attention span for awhile and make church going pleasant while the attraction lasts. But what next? Is church just all about being there on Sunday for the sake of attendance, and later going back and resuming our normal lives? Is church just a portion of our lives, where we later go back and resume normalcy? And doesn't dat makes the church, erm, pardon me saying this, but 'abnormal'?
One reason why I choose this church to serve in, was the fact dat I wanted a community to grow in, a family to have, friends to count on. But yet, I find that we're a little cut short on this. Most of the time, we just meet each other on Sunday, and dats it. No more. We're just Sunday friends, whereupon we would go back to our normal bunch of friends after dat.
Authentic genuine community. I'm sure the hurting world would want dat too. I'm sure a bunch of disillusioned youths would 1stly go for a place where they can belong, even more than how happening it is. I mean, if you just emphasise on the happeningness without the relationship building, where would you be? Wouldn't we be just like any social club? Why not then change the church into a Lions club or Rotary club instead?
There is only so much an evangelist can do. Even if he preaches and half the nation gets saved, could the saved be succesfully be integrated into the church? People talk about megachurches. But do all megachurches foster relationship building and spiritual mentoring?
Or do most just go for the numbers? Bring in more people! We need 2000 people by 3 years time! I've seen some going down this path. Heck, I was even at a youth leaders/pastors meeting, and some seem to go around asking others how big is their flock. Aren't we all servants of God? Who serve God because we love Him? Would we be willing to work with just 10 kids our whole lifetime, if God calls us to, just to see them grow and mature in Christ?
As a Pastor, God'll hold them accountable for their sheep. Are they able to nurture the 2000 into a thriving community where everyone's need is met? Or would it just be for glamour and name sakes?
I'm left with many thoughts on this issue. Especially after reading some stuff about the Emergent movement and also topics of the Youth Builder book also seem to emphasis on a proper community building. Is that really what we need?
God Bless~!
However, reading through Sivin Kit's blog about issues churches face now, including the yearning of a genuine community and spirituality versus the the idea of a church just being a fuzzy-huggy club, I realised, 'Hey, ya! This is the way we should actually go!'
I mean, after all, the attraction of some sweet young thing (or buffed up guy for the females) might hold our attention span for awhile and make church going pleasant while the attraction lasts. But what next? Is church just all about being there on Sunday for the sake of attendance, and later going back and resuming our normal lives? Is church just a portion of our lives, where we later go back and resume normalcy? And doesn't dat makes the church, erm, pardon me saying this, but 'abnormal'?
One reason why I choose this church to serve in, was the fact dat I wanted a community to grow in, a family to have, friends to count on. But yet, I find that we're a little cut short on this. Most of the time, we just meet each other on Sunday, and dats it. No more. We're just Sunday friends, whereupon we would go back to our normal bunch of friends after dat.
Authentic genuine community. I'm sure the hurting world would want dat too. I'm sure a bunch of disillusioned youths would 1stly go for a place where they can belong, even more than how happening it is. I mean, if you just emphasise on the happeningness without the relationship building, where would you be? Wouldn't we be just like any social club? Why not then change the church into a Lions club or Rotary club instead?
There is only so much an evangelist can do. Even if he preaches and half the nation gets saved, could the saved be succesfully be integrated into the church? People talk about megachurches. But do all megachurches foster relationship building and spiritual mentoring?
Or do most just go for the numbers? Bring in more people! We need 2000 people by 3 years time! I've seen some going down this path. Heck, I was even at a youth leaders/pastors meeting, and some seem to go around asking others how big is their flock. Aren't we all servants of God? Who serve God because we love Him? Would we be willing to work with just 10 kids our whole lifetime, if God calls us to, just to see them grow and mature in Christ?
As a Pastor, God'll hold them accountable for their sheep. Are they able to nurture the 2000 into a thriving community where everyone's need is met? Or would it just be for glamour and name sakes?
I'm left with many thoughts on this issue. Especially after reading some stuff about the Emergent movement and also topics of the Youth Builder book also seem to emphasis on a proper community building. Is that really what we need?
God Bless~!
Saturday, February 19, 2005
Robbed!
Yes, you read right. My house (not home, as home is the place I stay with my family), was robbed in the early parts of the morning of yesterday. Ha, as I woke up later in the noon, just in time for our MMCG session (which translates to Eat, Drink and be Merry gathering to all you blur folks out there), I suddenly heard
'My wallet's missing lar'
'Hey, mine too!'
'What? When?'
'This morning when I woke up lar'
'Hey, me as well!'
and someone added
'But Leo Koo's laptop's still there! Was there anything lost from Leo Koo's stuffs?'
And as I checked, there was none! Haha, at least I keep my wallet somewhere else, other than leaving it smack in the middle of the table, unguarded (though my camera was there, it was unscathed too! Wow!) Perhaps the robber panicked as I could not sleep for the night and walked out halfway to find the wooden door of the main entrance open.
But whatever it is, thank God for His providence. Imagine losing my laptop, guitars, camera, pda and whatsoever, and I think I might just break down. Dat's it, hope dat was a blessing to you~
God Bless!
'My wallet's missing lar'
'Hey, mine too!'
'What? When?'
'This morning when I woke up lar'
'Hey, me as well!'
and someone added
'But Leo Koo's laptop's still there! Was there anything lost from Leo Koo's stuffs?'
And as I checked, there was none! Haha, at least I keep my wallet somewhere else, other than leaving it smack in the middle of the table, unguarded (though my camera was there, it was unscathed too! Wow!) Perhaps the robber panicked as I could not sleep for the night and walked out halfway to find the wooden door of the main entrance open.
But whatever it is, thank God for His providence. Imagine losing my laptop, guitars, camera, pda and whatsoever, and I think I might just break down. Dat's it, hope dat was a blessing to you~
God Bless!
Monday, February 14, 2005
Differentiate
Was thinking about the Youth/Young Adults thingy that we've just launched in church. It seems like there's so much to do, so much to accomplish, and well, I feel like giving up.
Why give up so fast? I dunno, not easy as my Pastor would also want me involved in those family cell groups in Sunway on Friday nights. But then, dat it not where my heart lies, and I usually feel so drained coming back from those. It's just dat the age gap and communication wavelengths are so wide.
Perhaps I should really sit down and talk to her about my priorities, should I? After all, I need to graduate and I told God and myself dat Monday to Fridays are for my studies and nothing else. Perhaps CF too..but not an additional family based cell group I wouldn't want to attend. *sigh* I do pray I could get through to her on this issue.
On the other hand, I just created a yahoo groups for us, the youths (hah, I still consider those working as youths. We're still young after all rite?) Hopefully it'll facilicate better communications and exchange of ideas of how a cell group should be run, especially a cell group dat is geared towards reaching out to youths of the area.
Yea, and as I was pondering about it, asking God for guidance, I felt the word, 'Differentiate' come into my head. And well, it stayed on and gave me an idea/a vision of a group dat are willing to stay different for God. Not weird or funny people, but people with a mission to change their workplace and their study place.
Differentiate, cause we're not doing this for the sake of getting the biggest amount of people in (as most youth groups/churches would aim for, haihh), but because we want to care, share and love the people around us.
Differentiate, because we've got a mission to reach out to the youths of USJ, while most churches would target a university based audience to reach out to. After all, research has shown, 90% of people getting saved, do so while they're below 18. At least, they've been exposed to Christ in someway (Sunday School, youth groups, etc)
Guess dats it. It's not going to be easy, and I would need all the help I can. After all, I don't wanna run a Youth/Young adults dat forces people to come for the sake of coming. Let's care..
God Bless~!
Why give up so fast? I dunno, not easy as my Pastor would also want me involved in those family cell groups in Sunway on Friday nights. But then, dat it not where my heart lies, and I usually feel so drained coming back from those. It's just dat the age gap and communication wavelengths are so wide.
Perhaps I should really sit down and talk to her about my priorities, should I? After all, I need to graduate and I told God and myself dat Monday to Fridays are for my studies and nothing else. Perhaps CF too..but not an additional family based cell group I wouldn't want to attend. *sigh* I do pray I could get through to her on this issue.
On the other hand, I just created a yahoo groups for us, the youths (hah, I still consider those working as youths. We're still young after all rite?) Hopefully it'll facilicate better communications and exchange of ideas of how a cell group should be run, especially a cell group dat is geared towards reaching out to youths of the area.
Yea, and as I was pondering about it, asking God for guidance, I felt the word, 'Differentiate' come into my head. And well, it stayed on and gave me an idea/a vision of a group dat are willing to stay different for God. Not weird or funny people, but people with a mission to change their workplace and their study place.
Differentiate, cause we're not doing this for the sake of getting the biggest amount of people in (as most youth groups/churches would aim for, haihh), but because we want to care, share and love the people around us.
Differentiate, because we've got a mission to reach out to the youths of USJ, while most churches would target a university based audience to reach out to. After all, research has shown, 90% of people getting saved, do so while they're below 18. At least, they've been exposed to Christ in someway (Sunday School, youth groups, etc)
Guess dats it. It's not going to be easy, and I would need all the help I can. After all, I don't wanna run a Youth/Young adults dat forces people to come for the sake of coming. Let's care..
God Bless~!
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Not married yet-ah?
Got this from Tan Soo-Inn's site, Grace@work. It's a good read
-------------------------------------------------
Not married yet-ah?” These are the dreaded words confronting many a single. Often well meaning, they reinforce the belief that one is somewhat deficient until one is married. Singles know full well the occasions when the pressure will be on: weddings, wedding dinners, and New Year clan gatherings.
If you are single and Chinese you will get confronted with the awful: “ this is the last year you get ang pows-ok?” during Chinese New year functions. (Traditionally, Chinese give ceremonial financial gifts called ang-pows during the Chinese New Year, but only to those who are not yet married.)
Churches also help to add on to the pressure. There are church leaders who actively pray for life partners for the singles in their congregations --- and tell them so. The message is clear. You are not complete or normal until you are married. (The message is a somewhat more ambiguous for widows and divorcees.)
It doesn't help that we live in a sex-saturated society where sex is everywhere in the entertainment media and in advertisements. (I need a cold shower after most MTV video clips.) Therefore we live in a state of almost constant subconscious sexual arousal. And for Christians, well, the only way we are going to get some is if we are married.
As a result of all these pressures, a few things may happen. One, people get stampeded into bad marriages. Two, singles spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about and /or looking for, life partners. Or they go around wondering what's wrong with them.
But what do the Scriptures actually say?
Marriage was the norm for human experience on this earth. It was a gift from God from the beginning (Genesis 1-2).
Marriage will no longer be needed in heaven (Matthew 22:23-33). I assume that whatever needs the marriage institution was meant to meet on earth will be met in other and better ways in the life to come.
As we live in between the ages, between this age and the age to come, both marriage and singleness are equally valid expressions of life in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:25-38). In fact, Paul seems to favour singleness but this stems more from practical concerns than from theological concerns. Paul expected that Christ would return in his lifetime and that there would be much tribulation and persecution just prior to His return.
Therefore there is no basis to treat singles as second-class citizens in the church. Instead we should affirm singleness as an equally valid expression of our life in Christ. I believe that a life partner is a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14) and if and until such time that the Lord gives us a life partner, we need to learn to be complete in Christ.
Indeed it needs to be said that if someone is not complete in Christ, and is somehow hoping that a life partner will make life complete, he or she is putting divine expectations on any future partner that can only add more strains to what is already a tough calling. If you are not happy alone, it is unlikely that you will be happy hitched to another imperfect person.
It doesn't help that we live in a society that is getting more and more lonely. Automation means that more and more, we will be interacting with machines rather than with people. And the pressure of the modern work place means that many of us will have little energy and time for meaningful relationships. This is potentially fatal to the spirit for single and married alike.
We may not all be married but we all need to be in significant relationships with significant others. We all need to be nurtured by the love and affection of others just as we need to be blessed by caring for others. We may not all end up with spouses but we all need good friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and other family relationships to be truly human.
Sometimes, our hunger for a life partner is really an expression of our hunger for God Himself. Which is why there are some people in good marriages who still feel that there is something missing from their lives. No spouse no matter how good can fill that place in our heart meant for God alone. And the loneliness of many singles can be addressed to some degree if they have an intimate healthy relationship with their Abba Father.
Then there are those who do not want to get married for various reasons. Some want to be free from the demands of marriage to be free to serve God in some special way or to pursue some other personal goal. Others have seen the destruction of bad marriages and are fearful that their marriage may turn bad. Others still are just fearful of commitments. Some may just be unwilling to pay the price needed to make a marriage work. Married or single, we all have to be accountable to the Lord for the choices we make.
But there are mysteries in life. There are some folks who would make excellent life partners, and who want to get married, but are still single. God never seems to bring the right partner into their lives. Why? I do not know. I fall back on the fact that we live in a fallen and imperfect world and that none of us will get all we should get, this side of heaven.
Life is also full of ironies. There are many in difficult marriages who wish they were single again. And there are the singles who long to get married, believing that marriage will make life worth living. Truth is, following Christ is tough for all of us, married or single. But we don't have to make it tougher by putting unnecessary pressure on our singles.
The primary focus of our life is not marriage or the absence of it. It is God and His Kingdom. In the words of Jesus:
Set your mind on God’s kingdom and his justice before everything else, and all the rest will come to you as well.” Matthew 6:33 REB
Your brother, Soo-Inn Tan
-------------------------------------------------
Not married yet-ah?” These are the dreaded words confronting many a single. Often well meaning, they reinforce the belief that one is somewhat deficient until one is married. Singles know full well the occasions when the pressure will be on: weddings, wedding dinners, and New Year clan gatherings.
If you are single and Chinese you will get confronted with the awful: “ this is the last year you get ang pows-ok?” during Chinese New year functions. (Traditionally, Chinese give ceremonial financial gifts called ang-pows during the Chinese New Year, but only to those who are not yet married.)
Churches also help to add on to the pressure. There are church leaders who actively pray for life partners for the singles in their congregations --- and tell them so. The message is clear. You are not complete or normal until you are married. (The message is a somewhat more ambiguous for widows and divorcees.)
It doesn't help that we live in a sex-saturated society where sex is everywhere in the entertainment media and in advertisements. (I need a cold shower after most MTV video clips.) Therefore we live in a state of almost constant subconscious sexual arousal. And for Christians, well, the only way we are going to get some is if we are married.
As a result of all these pressures, a few things may happen. One, people get stampeded into bad marriages. Two, singles spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about and /or looking for, life partners. Or they go around wondering what's wrong with them.
But what do the Scriptures actually say?
Marriage was the norm for human experience on this earth. It was a gift from God from the beginning (Genesis 1-2).
Marriage will no longer be needed in heaven (Matthew 22:23-33). I assume that whatever needs the marriage institution was meant to meet on earth will be met in other and better ways in the life to come.
As we live in between the ages, between this age and the age to come, both marriage and singleness are equally valid expressions of life in Christ (1 Corinthians 7:25-38). In fact, Paul seems to favour singleness but this stems more from practical concerns than from theological concerns. Paul expected that Christ would return in his lifetime and that there would be much tribulation and persecution just prior to His return.
Therefore there is no basis to treat singles as second-class citizens in the church. Instead we should affirm singleness as an equally valid expression of our life in Christ. I believe that a life partner is a gift from the Lord (Proverbs 19:14) and if and until such time that the Lord gives us a life partner, we need to learn to be complete in Christ.
Indeed it needs to be said that if someone is not complete in Christ, and is somehow hoping that a life partner will make life complete, he or she is putting divine expectations on any future partner that can only add more strains to what is already a tough calling. If you are not happy alone, it is unlikely that you will be happy hitched to another imperfect person.
It doesn't help that we live in a society that is getting more and more lonely. Automation means that more and more, we will be interacting with machines rather than with people. And the pressure of the modern work place means that many of us will have little energy and time for meaningful relationships. This is potentially fatal to the spirit for single and married alike.
We may not all be married but we all need to be in significant relationships with significant others. We all need to be nurtured by the love and affection of others just as we need to be blessed by caring for others. We may not all end up with spouses but we all need good friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and other family relationships to be truly human.
Sometimes, our hunger for a life partner is really an expression of our hunger for God Himself. Which is why there are some people in good marriages who still feel that there is something missing from their lives. No spouse no matter how good can fill that place in our heart meant for God alone. And the loneliness of many singles can be addressed to some degree if they have an intimate healthy relationship with their Abba Father.
Then there are those who do not want to get married for various reasons. Some want to be free from the demands of marriage to be free to serve God in some special way or to pursue some other personal goal. Others have seen the destruction of bad marriages and are fearful that their marriage may turn bad. Others still are just fearful of commitments. Some may just be unwilling to pay the price needed to make a marriage work. Married or single, we all have to be accountable to the Lord for the choices we make.
But there are mysteries in life. There are some folks who would make excellent life partners, and who want to get married, but are still single. God never seems to bring the right partner into their lives. Why? I do not know. I fall back on the fact that we live in a fallen and imperfect world and that none of us will get all we should get, this side of heaven.
Life is also full of ironies. There are many in difficult marriages who wish they were single again. And there are the singles who long to get married, believing that marriage will make life worth living. Truth is, following Christ is tough for all of us, married or single. But we don't have to make it tougher by putting unnecessary pressure on our singles.
The primary focus of our life is not marriage or the absence of it. It is God and His Kingdom. In the words of Jesus:
Set your mind on God’s kingdom and his justice before everything else, and all the rest will come to you as well.” Matthew 6:33 REB
Your brother, Soo-Inn Tan
They converted me(!)
Nope, not into a buddhist or a moslem for dat fact. Hehee. Decided to install linux on my laptop. Or should I just install it into my spare hard disk? Plus, hmm, Red Hat or something else? Haha, guess I want to spend my time productively, instead of letting it pass by watching movies, playing games and chatting. Things done in moderation is the best after all, rite?
Yeah, browsed through my archives and found I wanted to learn cooking. I still haven't learnt much yet! Man, any takers for the spot of being my teacher? Yea, would need some guinea pigs for the job of food tasting too. Sign up? It's free!
On the other hand, studies are progressing smoothly. Been camping in the library, and probably will continue dat trend after the CNY break. Haha, I wanna get some TV series on my laptop too, and the library seems to be the best place for dat. Preferably some stuff you can laugh about later, heh. (nope, not too serious, will have high blood pressure)
Yea, I wanna learn some Blues too. Guess dat as for guitarists, we're more to blues compared to pianists who would be more into classical jazz. Smooth jazz is good, really. Do sample some Rippingtons, Fourplay, Norman Brown to say the least. Miles Davis anyone? (yah, he isn't in the smooth jazz genre, i know..)
Btw, speaking of blues, I'm finding for some B.B. King songs. Preferably in mp3 format lah. Any recommended bit torrent/kazaa wannabe downloaders? Kinda got scared of hidden trojan programs in most of those downloaders. Hah, yea, I'm finding for a Gretsch White Falcon too, though B.B. King used a Gibson 'Lucille', heh
Okie then. Might not be posting for the next few days then. Feedback would be good. Have a blessed holiday!
Yeah, browsed through my archives and found I wanted to learn cooking. I still haven't learnt much yet! Man, any takers for the spot of being my teacher? Yea, would need some guinea pigs for the job of food tasting too. Sign up? It's free!
On the other hand, studies are progressing smoothly. Been camping in the library, and probably will continue dat trend after the CNY break. Haha, I wanna get some TV series on my laptop too, and the library seems to be the best place for dat. Preferably some stuff you can laugh about later, heh. (nope, not too serious, will have high blood pressure)
Yea, I wanna learn some Blues too. Guess dat as for guitarists, we're more to blues compared to pianists who would be more into classical jazz. Smooth jazz is good, really. Do sample some Rippingtons, Fourplay, Norman Brown to say the least. Miles Davis anyone? (yah, he isn't in the smooth jazz genre, i know..)
Btw, speaking of blues, I'm finding for some B.B. King songs. Preferably in mp3 format lah. Any recommended bit torrent/kazaa wannabe downloaders? Kinda got scared of hidden trojan programs in most of those downloaders. Hah, yea, I'm finding for a Gretsch White Falcon too, though B.B. King used a Gibson 'Lucille', heh
Okie then. Might not be posting for the next few days then. Feedback would be good. Have a blessed holiday!
It's a choice
You know, at times, when faced with making decisions, we have a choice. Why choice? Because I believe there are always 2 ways of going about doing things. Do we follow our flesh and do what we want? And in return get the result we want no matter whether we hurt anyone in process? Or do we follow God's way and say, 'Lemme give grace and let God handle it'
I dunno how many of you face daily decisions like this. But perhaps, God's really teaching me through this. The choice to put God's way and God's will above my way and my will.
You know, the hardest thing about having a dream, is to live it out and inspire others to follow the dream of yours. It's never an easy job to lead a bunch of young adults and youth. I, for one, don't think I'm good enough. I just don't cut it God! Why me? I don't want the termed leader either. Haihh~ It's just so cliche. You know, I rather be happily married and earning a stable income, with perhaps 1-2 children. But no, I've a dream and it's not easy.
So many things happened recently. My previous laptop started dying off, my car broke down and costed a total of rm 1630, I had a misunderstanding with someone, a good friend *sigh* Can't push the situation anymore. Guess I've gotta trust in God and let God heal the situation.
What else? Guess I'm the kinda guy dat goes, 'Oh no, dat person ain't talking much to me today. I must have screwed up' and then proceeds to try too hard. (hmm, yea, looking at it again, trying too hard tends to make the situation worse rite?) Haha, yea, as God's leading, it's a choice. It takes maturity to trust in God in such situations. It takes faith to listen to God's voice and act on it, instead of looking at the surroundings. Heh, I just remembered what Uncle Dexter told me too. 'Don't look at your circumstances, but have faith in God'
Decisions, choices. What would you do? If Gideon continued to look upon his situations, he would still have remained a sheep hand.
Anyways, hah, yea, just wanna take the opportunity to wish every reader a blessed and productive Chinese New Year~! Keep the pork meat consumed! After all, pork's a rarity from where I come from, really, heheh..
Btw, don't forget to measure your waistline and weight before and after CNY. The difference in them would be the ones you want to get rid of, rite?
God Bless~
I dunno how many of you face daily decisions like this. But perhaps, God's really teaching me through this. The choice to put God's way and God's will above my way and my will.
You know, the hardest thing about having a dream, is to live it out and inspire others to follow the dream of yours. It's never an easy job to lead a bunch of young adults and youth. I, for one, don't think I'm good enough. I just don't cut it God! Why me? I don't want the termed leader either. Haihh~ It's just so cliche. You know, I rather be happily married and earning a stable income, with perhaps 1-2 children. But no, I've a dream and it's not easy.
So many things happened recently. My previous laptop started dying off, my car broke down and costed a total of rm 1630, I had a misunderstanding with someone, a good friend *sigh* Can't push the situation anymore. Guess I've gotta trust in God and let God heal the situation.
What else? Guess I'm the kinda guy dat goes, 'Oh no, dat person ain't talking much to me today. I must have screwed up' and then proceeds to try too hard. (hmm, yea, looking at it again, trying too hard tends to make the situation worse rite?) Haha, yea, as God's leading, it's a choice. It takes maturity to trust in God in such situations. It takes faith to listen to God's voice and act on it, instead of looking at the surroundings. Heh, I just remembered what Uncle Dexter told me too. 'Don't look at your circumstances, but have faith in God'
Decisions, choices. What would you do? If Gideon continued to look upon his situations, he would still have remained a sheep hand.
Anyways, hah, yea, just wanna take the opportunity to wish every reader a blessed and productive Chinese New Year~! Keep the pork meat consumed! After all, pork's a rarity from where I come from, really, heheh..
Btw, don't forget to measure your waistline and weight before and after CNY. The difference in them would be the ones you want to get rid of, rite?
God Bless~
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
It's Chinese New Year!
Heyy! It's the time of the year again where you get free money by just saying a phrase. Hah, bet you were lost there weren't you? Just say, 'Gong Xi Fa Chai' and you'll get some red packet with some moolah within it.
What so great about Chinese New Year anyway? Here, lemme list it down:
1) Getting paid for saying ,'Gong Xi Fa Chai'
2) The chance to eat porky stuff that you can't find in the desert of Cyberjaya
3) Cookies! Can't wait to get my grubby hands on some ground nut cookies. If you've extra, bring them back for me! hehehe
4) The chance to watch chinese blockbusters on TV! Haha, I've noticed that every year, we get to watch those blockbusters that they showed in the cinema 2 years back. Not a bad deal after all eh?
5) Haha, here's a lame one, the chance to meet your cousins and see how pretty/dashing they've grown. Would be kinda proud to know a superstar as a cousin! hehe
6) Oh yea, if you've started working, you would appreciate the chance to laze around and sleep half the day away (unless ur mom and pop drags you outta bed!)
7) Ah, finally, wishing your pastor and getting an angpau from him/her! Dats the ultimate!
:) Anymore? Would be good to hear some from you guys as well, hehehe
What so great about Chinese New Year anyway? Here, lemme list it down:
1) Getting paid for saying ,'Gong Xi Fa Chai'
2) The chance to eat porky stuff that you can't find in the desert of Cyberjaya
3) Cookies! Can't wait to get my grubby hands on some ground nut cookies. If you've extra, bring them back for me! hehehe
4) The chance to watch chinese blockbusters on TV! Haha, I've noticed that every year, we get to watch those blockbusters that they showed in the cinema 2 years back. Not a bad deal after all eh?
5) Haha, here's a lame one, the chance to meet your cousins and see how pretty/dashing they've grown. Would be kinda proud to know a superstar as a cousin! hehe
6) Oh yea, if you've started working, you would appreciate the chance to laze around and sleep half the day away (unless ur mom and pop drags you outta bed!)
7) Ah, finally, wishing your pastor and getting an angpau from him/her! Dats the ultimate!
:) Anymore? Would be good to hear some from you guys as well, hehehe
Dual Personality
Sometimes, I look back and I notice that I have 2 types of personality. Though naturally an sanguine (carefree, friendly, funny and talkative), many times I revert to being a melancholic person (sad, moody, worrying, trying to get people to like me, etc etc, haha). And I guess it all boils down to security and trust in Christ that everything would work out fine.
It's indeed not easy when more than half your life, you lived with the tag of a reject. And when everything you do, whether right or wrong were labelled wrong and loser. It's even harder when people you think you can trust go, 'I dunno him man, who's he, not my friend' And it sucks.
And pondering deeper, I always find myself comfortable with people I just met or people that say, 'Hey Leo, we're here for you' And that's when I'm a sanguine with all my jokes, pranks and hula baloo. Hah, only good friends have seen me in that condition, hehe.
Anyways, as the Chinese New Year comes, I felt one thing dat God's leading me to is not to worry too much about what people might think and try to impress them, but just being the sanguine I'm to be.
Yea! Let's rock the world for Christ :) (crazy mode on, heehehe, beware!)
God Bless~!
p/s: Was always noisy and talkative from young. Seriously, hehe :p. Remembered getting sent to the headmasters office numerous times for talking too much in class. They even made me sit with the gals in primary school! Hehe, but of course, I got them talking too, hahaha!
It's indeed not easy when more than half your life, you lived with the tag of a reject. And when everything you do, whether right or wrong were labelled wrong and loser. It's even harder when people you think you can trust go, 'I dunno him man, who's he, not my friend' And it sucks.
And pondering deeper, I always find myself comfortable with people I just met or people that say, 'Hey Leo, we're here for you' And that's when I'm a sanguine with all my jokes, pranks and hula baloo. Hah, only good friends have seen me in that condition, hehe.
Anyways, as the Chinese New Year comes, I felt one thing dat God's leading me to is not to worry too much about what people might think and try to impress them, but just being the sanguine I'm to be.
Yea! Let's rock the world for Christ :) (crazy mode on, heehehe, beware!)
God Bless~!
p/s: Was always noisy and talkative from young. Seriously, hehe :p. Remembered getting sent to the headmasters office numerous times for talking too much in class. They even made me sit with the gals in primary school! Hehe, but of course, I got them talking too, hahaha!
Thursday, February 03, 2005
Alone, but not lonely
I guess one of the main grouses of being 26 and still studying is that all your closest friends have graduated and taken off. It's even more so obvious in the forsaken land of Cyberjaya when there's nothing to do at night except play games, chat or study (unless you play with the guitar, watch movies, etc etc). There's no place to chill nearby, with only Dengkil, Puchong and Putrajaya the nearest place.
Tonight, as I headed back home from cg, I felt down, drained and depressed. God, I'm here all alone! I don't really talk to my housemates either.. God, who are my best friends, my buddies, my lepak gang?! I was tempted to enter a realm of self pity and self loath at once. But yet, something within me tells me I can't. I'm loved by God, my family and my friends back home. This is just a temporary thing, a phase to go through.
But yet, as I stood under the shower, I felt, 'Hey! I'm here to bless, I'm here to serve, I'm here to be salt and light for God' It's normal after all to feel alone and lonely. After all, the Psalmist did actually go through deepest depths and violent emotions. And yet, it's part of God's plan for us to learn to depend on Him in our alone-ness. Through dat alone we can start growing in Christ. Alone-ness doesn't mean loneliness rite?
Was hanging out with John, Joash and Su Chen when they mentioned a couple of TV series. Hah, I dunno, but I might just borrow some to watch after I'm done studying for the day. It helps with stupidly farnee show like Friends or American Idol, heheh.
Anyways, just a random thought. Do I need a girl friend coz I'm all alone all the time? Nahh~~! Two lonely people doesn't make the world go round. I need buddies, friends, lepak partners! heh. And it's ok if I've not many around (*sigh*, do I have any? God..? do I?....) Haihh~ After all, most people do get attached coz they're lonely, mien.
Guess I need to continue focusing on the goal, the prize, the finishing line. I've started the race and now our Young Adults and Youth ministry is already under way, I need to see it works and grows.(we can't think of an appropriate name other than AYAM. Aiks! Bad name eh? Heheh )
Yea, guess dats it. Help me God~ Do I want to be popular with the largest amount of friends? No God, I want to be the man of God You want me to be, I want to see You in heaven and get told, 'Well done, my faithful servant' Let me be a man after Your heart instead of someone who wants more friends..
Amen~!
Tonight, as I headed back home from cg, I felt down, drained and depressed. God, I'm here all alone! I don't really talk to my housemates either.. God, who are my best friends, my buddies, my lepak gang?! I was tempted to enter a realm of self pity and self loath at once. But yet, something within me tells me I can't. I'm loved by God, my family and my friends back home. This is just a temporary thing, a phase to go through.
But yet, as I stood under the shower, I felt, 'Hey! I'm here to bless, I'm here to serve, I'm here to be salt and light for God' It's normal after all to feel alone and lonely. After all, the Psalmist did actually go through deepest depths and violent emotions. And yet, it's part of God's plan for us to learn to depend on Him in our alone-ness. Through dat alone we can start growing in Christ. Alone-ness doesn't mean loneliness rite?
Was hanging out with John, Joash and Su Chen when they mentioned a couple of TV series. Hah, I dunno, but I might just borrow some to watch after I'm done studying for the day. It helps with stupidly farnee show like Friends or American Idol, heheh.
Anyways, just a random thought. Do I need a girl friend coz I'm all alone all the time? Nahh~~! Two lonely people doesn't make the world go round. I need buddies, friends, lepak partners! heh. And it's ok if I've not many around (*sigh*, do I have any? God..? do I?....) Haihh~ After all, most people do get attached coz they're lonely, mien.
Guess I need to continue focusing on the goal, the prize, the finishing line. I've started the race and now our Young Adults and Youth ministry is already under way, I need to see it works and grows.(we can't think of an appropriate name other than AYAM. Aiks! Bad name eh? Heheh )
Yea, guess dats it. Help me God~ Do I want to be popular with the largest amount of friends? No God, I want to be the man of God You want me to be, I want to see You in heaven and get told, 'Well done, my faithful servant' Let me be a man after Your heart instead of someone who wants more friends..
Amen~!
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