Photo Gallery : 2004-2005

Was browsing through my old unprinted digital photos (which I do have a lot) when I felt nostalgic about the whole thing. Anyways, fyi, I started collecting photos when I got my 1st digital camera, an IXUS 400, and thus, the photos I have starts from around Dec 2003.

Dat lead me to writing this. Ha, I knoe this is late, but well, it was an awesome year (though I would have preferred to have graduated earlierla, heh) It's a year about:-
a) Hardwork (from Chili's and SEL Telecommunications)
b) Tears and misunderstandings (which did help me grow and rely on God more)and yet those friendships dat survived all these
c) Friendships dat deepened
d) Fun!

For those of you who have been involved with my life, thanks for being a friend. Life wouldn't be the same without you. Anyways, I won't say names here, but you know and I know and dats good enough, heh ;) Hope you'll be blessed by this photos! God Bless~!

p/s: Click on the photos to get the enlarged version! :) And, I do have the other photos dat aren't up anywhere! Ask me for more pics if you want them ya? Hehehe

Counting my blessings

It was a slow Thaipusam day dat made me ponder about the amount of material blessings God had provided me with. Coincidentally, it all started when my car broke down and ended up in the workshop. Anyways, here goes

Firstly, my Car, the Kancil - Always had a bicycle to ride around before the car came. Heh, can't remember how many times I raced with the cars on the road to reach school early. But yet, given my accidents, I guessed mom and dad got kinda worried. Amazing thing was, I got the car even before I got my license to drive!

Opened the house door one day and I saw a brand new shiny 850EZ Kancil sitting nicely at our porch, with my dad saying, 'Haha, dat's yours. Happy early 18th birthday! Now, go get your license ya?'

It was with the car dat I went around 2 rounds to fetch people to and back from church then. Don't think I could have went for prom back in form 6 without it either, hehe. Though, the best thing was, it was a place of refuge for me. Some sorta quiet room as I would go for a drive when I needed God.

Though, there were times people did only call me out for drinks coz they needed a car. *Sigh*, thank God I parted ways with such company though, heheh. Pity the next person they do dat to..

Nevertheless, it provided an outlet for the racer wannabe in me, hehee. Remember driving on the highway at 140 km/h back then just to overtake some Lotus Elise! Hah! Beat dat Lotus! Blehh~~!


Secondly, my Takamine (and my Kawai Piano) - Yeah! Only learnt music due to the fact I liked what my brother played. But as my piano teacher once told me, 'You've got talent, but you're lazy.' Hahaha, guess I was too engrossed with computer games back in form 1 and so.

Though, it was good to have a creative outlet to let it all out. The Takamine came when my bro asked me to get a solid top guitar with cutoffs and a case dat came with it. Only wanted to spend 1k plus, but ended up with this babe. Yea, paid it all with my 2 years of careful savings and some PTPTN loan (yea, all those saving up for a rainy day.., haihh~~ gone man, gone! Bah!)

The bad part? It made some ppl think I was rich and started asking me to pay for their food. Heh, the same bunch of losers la, *sigh* Guess some ppl are like dat eh?

But then again, it's been awesome playing my restringed guitar again recently, (especially when you've got no one around to talk to at night..) Hehee, gotta learn some Delirious, Jars of Clay and U2 songs next! And if you haven't jammed before, it's awesome to jam to a song you've practiced with *grin*

Now, time to be a rockstar! Nahh~~~ (nope, dun want ladies throwing their bras or even worse, guys throwing their boxer shorts! *gasp*~! No way dude! Hehehehe)


Thirdly, my camera

Yah! Always been a photographer wannabe from young. Other than taking photos of wildlife, nature and erm, God's beautiful creation of the opposite sex (haha, I'm not dat bad rite? Rite? rite...?~~ *sigh*), it's awesome to capture moments of time unto your camera. Sometimes, it just brings tears to look back at some of those moments though..
Aiks, better not show this to girls man. Haha, dunno what would they think, hmm.

Okie then, just some random writes. Been awesome God~!

God Bless~

How near is God?

Got this from this site. It was dated one day back when I opened it in bob.jots. Amazingly, it spoke about my situation. *Phew*! God knows! hehehehe. Be blessed!

Read Psalm 10:1-11

As we read the Book of Psalms, we find that David was constantly in and out of trouble. Some people say that Christians who really love the Lord will never be in difficult places. But that wasn't true of Moses; it wasn't true of David; and it certainly wasn't true of our Lord Jesus Christ! Our Lord ended up in the most difficult place of all--crucified on a Roman cross.

Listen to David: "Why do You stand afar off, O Lord? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?" (v. 1). Here are those questions once again: "Why, Lord? Where are You?" Why do we think God is far away from us? What makes us think God has deserted us? First, we know that God is everywhere. Second, He has promised not to forsake us (Heb. 13:5). David only felt as if God were far away.

That's a good lesson for us to learn. Don't base your judgments only on your feelings. Build your life on faith. Faith says, "I'm going to trust God no matter what I see, no matter what I think and no matter how I feel." Faith does not mean we are ignorant. It means we are walking in the will of God because we know the Word of God.

Yes, David was in trouble. The proud and self-sufficient were after him. They were persecuting and taunting him, "I shall not be moved." They were also saying, "God won't see it" and "God will not judge." But David came to the Lord and said, "Lord, You know all about this, and You are going to take care of it."

When it seems as if God is far away, remind yourself that He is near. Nearness is not a matter of geography. God is everywhere. Nearness is likeness. The more we become like the Lord, the nearer He is to us.

Do you desire to be nearer to God today? Fill your mind with the truth of the Word and your heart with prayer and trust God to take care of you.

Testing

'Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.' James 1:2-4

Just a few days ago, I was writing about trusting God and not in men. Well, I guess it's faith being put into action these few days as a series of unexpected and unexplainable things started occuring one by one.

It 1st started with the laptop I had. The cd-rom suddenly died on me and refused to start even though I left the laptop off for 2 days. I had to get a new one. And as the new one arrived, the hard disk of the old one started crashing on a 30 minute basis. It was too regular to be considered a software glitch. It was dying.

I had to transfer the files over to my new laptop. But halfway through, with most files saved and only MTVs left, I suddenly couldn't access the old laptop's hard disk. It's LAN port had died too! But thank God that I managed to transfer the most dear things to me.

The 2nd and 3rd occured today. I came back home and found that I could not close the half opened door. Looking up, I saw that the ceiling had collapsed! The thing I had to praise God was that, it didn't entirely collapsed (but would collapse anytime soon though,*sigh* Thank God I wasn't at home sleeping at that time (as I usually would be, heh. Yes, I'm a pig, hehe, sue me)

And finally, as I drove back to Cyberjaya, my car started acting up on me. Small vibrations were felt as I took the turn near the shell refineries. Not suspecting anything, I drove on, only to find that the vibrations got worse as I got closer to Cyberia. It turned bad when I was near Hassan's. At that time, the car was shaking so violently, I prayed that I could arrive here safely, considering it was 4:30 am(!)

What else could I say? Lord, what do you want me to hear Lord? You've my utmost attention. Aku mau cinta Yesus selamanya~

Amen~!

Moments of silence

Nope, this is absolutely not an obituary. Heh, please don't get mistaken. But why moments of silence? Yea, cause I'm the kind of guy who feels uncomfortable sitting one-on-one with someone I don't really know and driving to somewhere. Ask Charis. She knows.

When we 1st started going to church together in my car, she would be silent and so would I. And sometimes the only thing dat breaks the silence are some short mutterings I ramble when some insane driver high on adrenaline suddenly swerves dangerously into my path. Heh, dat was then.

I guess, I've changed a lot since back then and yet today, hanging out with the CF bunch, God taught me something. Friendships are about communication. Friendships are about getting to know you. Friendships are about lame jokes, followed by showing others the lame sign (hahahaha, *evil grin*). Friendships are about being yourself and not trying to impress anyone with anything. Isn't dat what friendships are all about?

Glancing through some old digital photos I got stashed somewhere, I realised I've been through stages in life, and how I actually responded to it determined what God had in store to teach me next.

Yea, underneath the noisy and yet, painfully timid Leo then were layers upon layers of hate, frustrations and anger. I hated myself. I hated the situations I was in. I even hated the CFers, though I re-pioneered it again. And I hid it all behind a smiley facade and my steady supply of Arcade, Playstation and Nintendo 64 games. Anything except facing those issues.

But I learnt to accept this life I'm in and surrender it all to God. And yea, He'll come to take away your tears and make the unseemingly working situations to work out well. Didn't God say, and all things work together for those who love him? Even the bad things? There's no shame in crying over pain, but surrendering your pain to God lets Him use it and use you even more. (I've tried responding in anger, and all it does is to make things worse. After all, it's of the flesh, no?)

I'm glad that hey, I'm finally learning something new! Things are looking bright and right. God, help me be that bright light you want.

Amen~!

The Sax/Jazz joke

Got this off Jin Kai's blog, hehee. Do check it out~

A saxophonist died and (needless to say) went straight to hell, complete with hellfire, screams, devils, the whole thing.
He was led into a smoky jazz dive near the River Styx and breathed a sigh of relief: on stage were many of his favorite jazzers jamming: Bird, Monk, Miles, Max, Diz, Louis—all the greats.
He's handed a sax just as they kick off a burning fast bebop tune.
"Wow," he thought, "What a cool way to spend eternity, jamming with the greats, hanging in a jazz club!"
The intro ended and they indicated that he had the first solo. Although the changes are killer, he blows his brains out and delivers a cooking solo, better than any he ever played while alive. After several choruses and playing his best licks, no one else gave any indication of taking over.
He leaned over to Miles and said, "This is great! What's the bad news?"
Miles put his tortured face right in his and replied, "Your chorus lasts forever!"

My Utmost for His highest

When the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and behold, horror and great darkness fell upon him
—Genesis 15:12

Whenever God gives a vision to a Christian, it is as if He puts him in "the shadow of His hand" ( Isaiah 49:2 ). The saint’s duty is to be still and listen. There is a "darkness" that comes from too much light-that is the time to listen. The story of Abram and Hagar in Genesis 16 is an excellent example of listening to so-called good advice during a time of darkness, rather than waiting for God to send the light. When God gives you a vision and darkness follows, wait. God will bring the vision He has given you to reality in your life if you will wait on His timing. Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him (see Isaiah 50:10-11 ).

Do I trust at all in the flesh? Or have I learned to go beyond all confidence in myself and other people of God? Do I trust in books and prayers or other joys in my life? Or have I placed my confidence in God Himself, not in His blessings? "I am Almighty God . . ."—El-Shaddai, the All-Powerful God ( Genesis 17:1 ). The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God.

Trusting God

Just got back from our Christian Fellowship, here in Multimedia University, Cyberjaya. And it was a pretty good one, as I believe that God answered my questions and yet lead me on from where I was marooned at.

The main theme of the entire sharing by Uncle Dexter had been on Psalm 118:8 - 'It's better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man' And immediately it spoke to my heart. I've been under doubts, struggles and yet depression on an ongoing basis. And sometimes, I just break down, not comprehending what is going on.

But yet, I try my best not to shut down and be 'emo' (the term for emotionally wrecked). And though these few days, I felt God telling me, 'Trust in me', another side of me kept feeding doubts, questions, things not yet understood. When it gets the better of me, I'll reek with hate, anger and frustrations. 'Why God, Why God!?', would be questions I kept asking God. If only I had done this, or had not done that, things would be so much different. Was I to blame? I hated my past, but yet, was I dwelling too deeply inside it?

Trust in God and not in men. It's so easy to look at my situations and assume the worst out of these. But yet, didn't God say, the prayer of a righteous man is powerful? And Malachi 3:6 says, 'For I am the Lord, and I change not'. God doesn't change for anything. Even when we fail God, God's there for us.

Speaking to Uncle Dexter later, I remembered him encouraging me, 'Hold on, pray and trust God' After all, though our circumstances might seem bleak, God is in control. Why let ourselves be drawn and down on circumstances we can't control? God is in control. I've gotta remember that. God's in control!

And it was pretty good too to get some pointers from him on how to run the Youth/Young Adults that we're going to start soon in church. One thing he mentioned that was engraved in my heart was, 'When you're doing things for God, God'll make things right for you. So don't worry, and trust God' and even proceeded to share some John Maxwell quotes and a testimony on God's goodness. I've gotta get myself some John Maxwell books these days too.

It's time for more faith and more trust in God. After all, I want to raise youths that will impact USJ, Subang and even perhaps Malaysia. (heh, I didn't sound like Phua Chu Kang did I?)

Amen~!

Sleep

Who said sleeping early is the best? Heheh, sleep are for weak people~

*evil grin*

Time for more fixing up of this lappy of mine. More updates soon..

p/s: I really do wanna write, and not as a friend said, hehe, trying to angle for more fishes (viewers la) But then, I can't really write good stuff unless I take 4-5 hours writing and rewriting the entire article over and over again. Now, hope you readers understand why the posts for last month aren't exactly up to my standard, hehe. Till soon (erm, sometime in near future)

Emotional Baggage

Was browsing through Crosswalk's website when I chanced upon an article on emotional baggage. Here, do check it out on this link.

The jamming session

Yea, here's something about 2004. As I had promised, I'll be writing about our 'crazy' jamming session. As you know, we seldom do hang-out as church mates. And thus, it came as a surprise as Fonie called me to say Joel agreed on dinner in Kepong and dat Vincent would be coming along too. I was amazed and yet excited at the prospect of one of our 1st out of church activities. Furthermore, it was crab! (woohoo~~! You don't get a chance to eat crab everyday here)

Anyways, crab was good. Dinner and the fei-louship was even better. But then, somebody suddenly popped the question. 'Wanna jam later?' And never did I expect that in the end, we would really end up jamming.

And thus, there we were, driving through the whole of ss2 in search of the elusive jam studio and later on, driving to Jalan Gasing to get to the studio. Numerous calls were made in the theme of, 'Hey dude! Long time no see! Do you know where's the jam studio in ss2 or in nearby areas?' Funny phone calls eh? Perhaps a little awkward too, hehe.

We also had some sort of discussion on what to jam, since we had to wait almost an hour for our turn (and I had to work at 8am the next morning!). Things were going like,
'Let's play some fourplay'
'What!? Jazz? No man..Let's play Oasis'
'Oasis only? How about praise and worship or Jars of Clay?'
'Erm..Do you know the chords?'

And it was already 12:15 midnight when we actually started!

And yet, half way through the discussions we remembered Jeff. Hahaha, sorry man, but at least you made it eh?

It was good, memorable and as Joel put it, the craziest thing we did for 2004. Here's for better times and more memories...

God Bless~!

CyberChristmas 2005 & the little reunion

Woahhh~! It's a blast! CyberChristmas 2005's play really rocked MMU Cyberjaya's community! It's the 1st time ever I've seen extra video clips being played in between scenes and what else, they're well made! Kudos to all those involved in the play.

Further kudos to those who did the 'Superhero' flash, copying Nike's Nikesphere flash too. Anyways, keep up the good job! Almost cried myself during the play, haha (man, I'm an emotional person, heh), due to the touching scenes. Furthermore, reports are that there were some who actually cried too, wow!

Oh yea, not forgetting our little reunion we had among the ex-MMU CFers (hmm, except for me). It was great to see 6 generations of CFers, all the way from Sarah, Daisy and Bong's batch to Yuet Pei, Min Wei and Agnes' batch, to Jason Ding, Jack Ling and Jane'nette's batch and not forgetting the ones who are still studying or just came in recently.

All in all, it was awesome~! God Bless and keep up the good job!

p/s: Feeling a little tired and drained right now. Hmm, shouldn't do too much thinking when I'm in this state. Tend to get all mixed up. Good nite~!

The 1st of 2005

It's new year already! *phew* Was just browsing through a couple of old pics I had burned. Oh boy, I never realised things and times changed so fast! Furthermore, most of the pics I took were during the time I just got the Ixus 400 digital camera, and like most people with new cameras, hehe, I was a 'jakun' with it (hmm, no offense yea)

Anyways, am looking forward to watch Kung Fu Hustle soon, heheh. Been to the Phantom of the Opera and I don't mind going for that another 3-4 more times (heh, the only movie I saw 3 times were the Lord of the Rings trilogy. 3 times each for each part and also Matrix, the 1st part) FYI, I've been a Phantom of the Opera fan since, hmm, 8 years ago? Hahaha, pretty long time for a fan of their sound track. note to gals only *grin*: Anyone wanna go watch it soon? I don't mind driving..hahaha, nahh~!

Hmm, on a more sombre thought, it's devastating to see how a tsunami could claim so many lives. Wow, 200,000 and more died? Guess it's almost the end times now. Haha, though we shouldn't really guess, should we?

The book of Revelations mentioned that more and more of these would occur. Nevertheless, we, the Christians, should be like light houses in the middle of despair and pain. I pray that God would also use me and the FGC church to reach out to others in these times.

On a final note, hehe, never knew I looked so nerdy around 1 year ago. Wow, I've changed too eh? Used to be so timid and attention seeking kinda person. Hmm, guess God's moulding me into His image. Let me do more this year God!

Till then, Carpe Diem

Amen!

Busyness yet again

Heyy~ It's been a really busy few weeks or so. We're having Cyber-Christmas practices. And well, I'll be heading to FGA for night service soon. It's been a great year and well, thanks to all my friends who read this pretty boring/obscure blog, hahaha.

Anyways, don't really have much to blog (and I can't find the time to blog, knowing me, I'm a perfectionist in my writing). Will be back with a bang I promise. Do check back by January the 2nd for more.

Till then, God bless, Happy New Year and Merry Christ-mas!

Cyber Christmas 2004/2005

Hey there! We're having Cyber Christmas (as in Cyberjaya's Christmas, not Cyberspace Christmas, haha) soon. Below are the events that would be held. Do drop me a line or call me at 012-6658726 for more information ya. God Bless and see you there~!

Charity Drive - Homes Visitation
Rumah Trinity & Rumah Hope
Date: 29th December 2004
Time: 9:00am
Venue: Gather at STAD

We will be giving out gifts donated by students from
Adopt-a-Gift drive.
Interested? Contact Daniel @ Y! khoo_ch19 or call him
at 012-2077341

Night Event - "The Beginning; The Way"
Date: 4th January 2005
Time: 7:30pm arrival
Venue: Multipurpose Hall
Come and witness the Play, Dance and Band
performances!!

Exhibition - "The Journey; The Truth"
Date: 5th-6th January 2005
Time: 10:30am - 4:00pm
Venue: to be confirmed, stay tune
Come experience and know the story behind Christmas.

Caroling
Date: 5th January 2005
Time: 7:00pm
Venue: MMU Hostel
Bring the Spirit of Christmas to the Campus! Join us!

It ain't too bad after all

'Jump'

I was back at my apartments not too long ago, when all I felt like doing was to jump. Nope, not up and down, but the impulse to jump out of the window and perhaps see the world pass me by in a flash of an eye.
'Jump'

But yet, I can't seem to do it. I'm driven by another force as well. I want to do what God wants me to do. But yet...at times my despair overwhelms me.

Just last night, at Alvin's Christmas party, I felt, 'Bang', and let it all go. 'Bang', and see the sparks fly. 'Bang', and who cares anyway? After all, I'm just a boring guy out there. But yet.. I can't. What a waste of life it would be too.

Looking back, I guess I looked stupid. Haha, perhaps even dumb. I guess at times, I live for people's approval instead of God's. I base too much of my mood on what people think of me, and when someone says,'Oh no, it's Leo', I just go down the drain. Even though they are a minority. And perhaps, even cruel.

I guess, it's time to break free of the past. There was a time where everything I did wasn't enough for those people back in my old church. I wasn't good enough for them, that's what I was told. And everything I did was found fault with. Even fetching people back. *sigh*.

I use to believe them, that I wasn't good enough. That I needed to do more and even more for approval. After all, that's what they tell me. But now, I feel it's more of a cruel thing that they did. What's the point of having friends that tell you that you aren't good enough?

Sitting down for a chat with Alvin (which became a long one), well, I came to realise my past probably ain't too bad after all. Though not popular in Secondary school and my previous church, I was respected by my peers in my club handling and I also had a close group of friends to hang out with. And the kids (who are now 15-19) in my old church, probably looked up to me.

And why this post? I guess, its to tell myself, 'I don't need to try anymore' After all, I can't please everyone and well, there are people that care.

God, help me get the past behind my back and start living for the future~!

Amen

Christmas busyness

Been really busy recently. Just got back from Ipoh, after a short missions at ,Haadyai, Thailand. Will post more pretty much soon.

Till then, Merry Christ-mas everyone!

Quarter of a Century

Today, well, marks the day I'm officially quarter of a century old (and not quarter of a decade like what Michelle D. was wishing me, haha). Well, to me, it's much more significant compared to the time I celebrated my 21st birthday and had a party over here in my house in PJ (ah, Boon, Daisy, Sarah & Marcus were the ppl from CF dat came over that night. Haha, still remember if you're reading this?)

Well, thanks everyone for the b'day wishes, calls and instant messages. Yuet Pei, thanks for being the 1st (ah, she wished me on the 14th! A bit too early eh?). And well, Mel(who wished me b4 she knocked out and then wished again in the morning, haha, farnee ler), Lincoln, Charis (using Mel's nick on Yahoo, haha), Michelle, Audrey & Alvin (plus some others who were on the phone together with them), Beatrice (who sent me an sms and then im-ed me, :P)

Wee Liem, Leona, Karen, Quinie (my housemate, haha, what a pleasant surprise to get an IM from you), Jeff & Joanne, Hock (for the b'day lunch invitation. Hehe, you were already planning this for some time eh?), Thomas & Steph (haha, and you guys thought it was belated :P), My Foursquare church gang - Vincent, Melissa@Meow, Ashley, Siew Har, Pastor & the rest, my current gang member from MMU, Kevin Koh, John See and the rest of the people that had made my day (ahh, so many of you were in the STOMP practice just now). And yea, not forgetting my mom, dad and brother as well

Anyways, thanks everyone. Heard you guys were forwarding messages around. *Blehh* It's been a long, hard 4 years since I was 21. But then, this year had looked so much better. Even more, I had the chance to get to know you all, better and well, closer :) Haha, some even got bullied by me eh? Thanks for all the fellowship and fei-louships provided, lest I can't get through MMU alone.

Before I end, special thanks (and I shall not explain why)to these people who had light up my life and this boring quarter of a century I've lived in to:

Audrey
Charis
Hock
Jeff Yew
John See
Melisa Ann
Michelle Ding
Nick Lim
Pastor Jacs
Sarah Lee
Vincent Lim
Wee Liem
Yuet Pei

Thanks once again~ God Bless :)

Xplore m28

Was walking around the 1-Utama shopping complex when some sales people approached me to try and get me buy the Xplore m28, the supposedly best PDA phone to get now. As I had just bought a new Sony Clie TJ-27 PDA, which was my b'day present from my mom, it was interesting to see how the m28 fared (heh, after all, the salesperson was touting its Palm 5.4 OS)

But on a closer look, though it looked pretty cool (and it could be a babe attraction tool, hehehe. Imaginary situation:Me with my big brack mole saying, 'Check it out gals! I've got a m28!' And then I flash my award winning smile. Erm, award for having lots of yellow teeth lah. The girls then swoon under my unstoppable presence, erm, due to some bad breath, hahahaha *blehhh*), but then it looked a bit funny with a 178*320 pixels screen compared to standard 320*320 or 160*160 screens for normal palm handhelds.

And then, looking at the price, I almost vomited brood, oops, blood, hehe. It was rm 2288 for dat piece of *ehem* not really functioning device. Do check out this link for more information.

Hehe, at least after reading dat, I felt, 'Heyy, my Sony Clie ain't too bad after all eh?'

Till next time, Palm still rules over Pocket PCs! (and Christ reigns over both, hahaha)

Back and sold out to Christ

Hey, I'm back! Was actually writing a post on our crazy jamming trip with Joel and the rest but I couldn't finish it, hehe. It'll be up soon, sooner than later I hope. Just trying to get it short, concise and yet, funny.

Anyways, I'm back. Actually, we're back from Gentings. It was awesome to see God move within the 3 days and 2 nights we were up there in Gentings. And it was the 1st time I was holding responsibilities in a Youth camp, after so long.

And, what was the highlight? Well, still am processing how the camp went. Was really good, really, as the preacher expounded on spiritual truths, the most memorable would be, 'Knowing the bible is just the 1st step, but applying it dailly is the 2nd step that most of us fail' Do we want to make a difference in our workplace, ministry and even friends? Let's live for Christ and Christ alone.

And it was good to be among the youths of SCC Ipoh. Haha, looks like I'll have some bullying targets the next time I see some of them. Beware Yin Ting, Michelle, Julie and Sopphia~! Muahahaha *evil grin*

Till then, do enjoy the photos(!)

Shekinah Youth Camp photos (some photos are not here for privacy purposes *smile)

More than conquerors

Was just browsing through the books in Salvation when one by Joyce Meyer got me reading like there's no tomorrow. 'How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny' struck me like an arrow hitting it's bullseye.

It seems that this is one area that God's leading me at, confidence to be myself. And it was funny dat a close friend of mine was talking to me about it, the ability to believe in God and have confidence that He'll provide and make straight things in our lives. That even in our careers, ministry and life partners, God will ensure we have sufficient. Not extra, not too much, but sufficient. Didn't God say,'My grace is sufficient for you'?

And it's true. I've been suffering from a self confidence problem I guess. No doubt, I've tried improving myself, my people skills and how I relate to others (as in not scaring others away). And in a way, I've somehow succeeded. Ask those who know me well and they'll tell you I've changed. I'm noisy, funny and even at times, insanely lame (though I would like to think I'm a quietly normal person).

And looking back 1 and a half years ago, I was timidly scared of people. And though upset with myself for not being more sociable (but being noisy at the wrong time), my environment did not allow much change. And I would say, God has indeed lead me through working at Chili's, attending FGC and well, even my industrial training. I've changed.

But then, at times, I do compare myself to others and a feeling of self loath comes in. I find myself feeling down for not being as funny as the other guy, not as fit (and yea, dat includes six packs and biceps, hehe), or perhaps not as good looking (hmm, not trying to say I'm bad looking here). And though I kept my friend's words at heart, it was only when I browsed through the book that I felt, 'Hey! This is what God's telling me now'

Confidence in God, in knowing that He knows best for you. Even the past, the pains and the hurts, God will and can use them. And when only we begin to love ourselves as God loves us, can we see the world from Jesus' point of view. Shades of grace and mercy instead of being judgemental and unkind.

I find that at times, I do try to follow other people's style. Perhaps sometimes, I try to be funnily quiet, and at others, noisily chatty. And then I find I fail. I can't be a copycat. I mean, it won't suit me. And Joyce Meyers addressed the issue on Chapter 4, 'Have you lost yourself?' It's really a good read.

Free to develop potential, that's what the book said. And now, I believe. God's there for us, even when we feel all alone. Do you believe as well? Would you believe as well? Let's put God in the center of our emotions and feelings. After all, we need to see ourselves as God sees us. More than conquerers(!)
God Bless~

Digital Cameras

I was browsing through the webshots photo gear guide, when the prices of cameras in US blew me away.

Just check out the Canon Rebel Kit (aka. Canon EOS 300D). Retailed at RM 3699, and RM 3500 for cash deals, it's now at a jaw catching price of US $693(!) (excluding shipment of course, heh)

Another hit is the Olympus E-1 SLR. While priced at about RM 6600 here, it's only US$ 1080 if you grab it there. Talk about price difference. Heh, we can even buy these cameras there and sell them here over lelong.com.my's site *grin* (and perhaps we should, shouldn't we?)

Anyways, why SLRs? Cause it's at a very affordable price now. A few years ago, digital SLR of similar standards would probably put you back by 20-30 thousands (hehee, did you just got surprised just now?)

Okay then. Till the next post, live long and shoot well (shoot more photoslah)

p/s: Now, any photography experts who are willing to teach here? Hehee, can pay you back in , erm, my witty presence? *blehh*

Choices of life

'Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, Before the difficult days come, And the years draw near when you say, "I have no pleasure in them"' Ecclesiastes 12:1-7

Was just browing through CY Leow's Photoblog when I came across photos taken in the 1970s. And as I looked closer, boy, I noticed that some of the guys were wearing fashion not unlike today. Tight fitting shirt and pants that just fit. And that was 20 years ago.

It was then a certain realisation hit me. 20 years isn't a short time. Time flies and waits for no one, not you, not me and certainly not the milkman (ok, the last one was lame, heh). These days, I've been reading the book, 'The Man in the mirror' by Patrick Morley. And the first two chapters hit me even more. (Patrick Morley spoke about the rat race in the first chapter & leading an unexamined life in the second)

And as I sat at my new favorite lepak spot (which is IKEA btw), sipping coffee and going through my book, many thoughts rushed through my head. At times, I do feel that, hey, I may be too square, too innocent for a world out there. After all, I don't do clubbing, smoking or drinking. And neither do most of the friends that I spend time with do so.

And I figured, perhaps I should get some clubbing, smoking and drinking friends that would bring me to this places. To get exposed to the real world. But yet again, looking back at Daniel, Daniel kept himself pure even when the others didn't mind eating food sacrificed to the Babylonian God. Would that go to show that it's not about our experiences that make us, but how much we honour God in our dailly lives? Furthermore, most ministers don't do drugs or gangsterism to be able to minister to these people.

And yet, these brings me to the other thing that I felt God bringing me through now. As I like sitting around IKEA reading my books, I did some people observation during my free time. And yea, what fascinates me now is to look at married couples (plus their children if they've brought their children along).

It's indeed interesting to look at the husbands (and not the wives) and trying to figure out what makes them good dads/husbands to their families. And when I do see one, I ask myself, 'Could I make a good dad/husband as well?' And well, I felt God telling me, it's not about others, not now anyway. But it's about me and my walk with God. Where am I as a person after God's heart? Where am I as a Christian (which means as a follower of Christ)

I have a strange feeling that well, God will provide if and when needed. And now is not the time to worry about all these. (p/s: I would have been attached long ago if I was desparate anyway, heh) There's the few subjects more to finish and also the church ministry I'm in. Furthermore, I'm contemplating getting a part time job soon. Perhaps in the Sales Engineer side or management. I shouldn't look to the left not right, but look straight ahead to the finishing line.

Choices of life, that's what I name this post. Choices because anytime a wrong decision could derail a life committed to Christ. Choices because it's easy to be rash and irrational when you're young (heh, 25 is still young, and I'm 24 until December 17th, hehe).

But when you're old (like the people in CY Leow's photo), would you look back and regret not doing more with the life you've been given? Would you regret not serving God with more zeal and passion or keeping your holiness for Christ alone? Instead that girl(or guy) that you spent most brain juice thinking about has derailed your life. That career that seemed so good and let you shop till you drop has caused you your ministry and family. That unexamined life that you lead until it was too late, caused the most pain and regrets.

Guess that's it. Till another inspiration of writing comes or another crappy joke comes along, God Bless~

A comedy of errors

Was at work today when my handphone buzzed. Looking at it, there was an unknown number, 016-478 xxxx (heheh, private numberlah). And thus, calling back, I reached Cheng Yong (or so I thought I did)

'Hey, who's this?'
'Chee Yong lah, don't you have my number?'
'What? Cheng Yong? What's up?'
'You're going to Serdang for dinner tonight? Can include me ar?'
'Okays, call you back later when I reach home lah. Expensivela'

And thus, reaching back the forsaken land of Cyberjaya, I messaged Cheng Yong online.
'Dude, you joining us for dinner later?'
'What dinner? I already ate. Why din inform me earlier?'
'What!? Thought I told you I'll message you when I get back'
'Huh? You did? Didn't receive also. Can I join you all go yamcha?'
'Shure, just meet us at the A1 carpark at 7:30'

At 7:40 (haha, I was running late. Erm, checking out my hair, you know..), I called that number again
'Hey, where are you? We're leaving already if you're not here'
'Ah? Nevermindla, don't think I wanna go'

We left Cyberjaya.

5 minutes later, my phone buzzed again. This time, the caller ID was Cheng Yong.
'Hey, where are you guys? Leaving yet?'
'What? Thought you said you're not joining us one'
'Huh? Did I? Nevermindla..'
*confused myself*

Only later when we arrived at Serdang's Hakka Bamboo restaurant I asked Bea to check out the number for me. It was kinda funny for Cheng Yong to have 2 numbers.
'Hold on yea, checking now'
'Okays..so is it Cheng Yong?'
'Erm, nope. It's Chee Yong'

Oops!

No wonder it confused me, heheheh.

Vestiges of Pride

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" Matthew 6:19-21

I was looking at the TV a few days ago, when they announced the death of Yasser Arafat. And there, going through the TV screens were video shots of Arafat's last days alive. There was Arafat, waving to supporters as he was lifted into the airplane to be brought to France for treatment. Affable smile I would add.

And then it hit me. I was brought back to the time when my grandfather was frail, ail and dying. Losing hope against recovering from some serious infections at that time. And so, like Arafat, Granpa was going around, waving and trying to shake the hands of friends he thought they were (when we went for dimsum in some place in Alor Setar) And it was heart breaking to see them reaching out to greet my uncle (the son of my Granpa) instead of Granpa himself. To most of them, Granpa was already an invalid, a man way past his prime time.

And it was at the bank when Granpa acted strange. There he was, withdrawing more than 10k in cash, and then passing me 6 k to keep in my pockets. My thoughts raced then. 'Why Granpa?', was the question I was asking myself. Was it to show he still had money?

And when I was going to leave Alor Setar, Granpa asked me in Hokkien, 'Do you have enough money to spend? Why not stay here a few more days?' I wanted to, really, but I was running broke after CF camp and the Perlis mission trip. Plus the fact my uncle was uneasy with me staying there, since I was one of Granpa's favorite grand sons. And there, on the spot, he tried passing me rm 500.

'Take it', Granpa told me. And he insisted on it a couple of times. Though, in the end, I did not, as I wanted to show Granpa that I was there not for his money, but for him. That I loved him for who he is and not how much he could give me. And when all these was happening, Uncle was uneasy and squirming in his seat.

But this is not a story on my family (not now though). As Yasser Arafat waved at the crowds as a man near the end of his life, the words, 'Vestiges of pride' flashed through this head of mine. Pride, cause at the end of our lives, we grasp on to what we think is significant to us, our lifetime achievements and hard work, thinking that's what the world cares too. And they will respect us for it

It was sad to not able to share with Granpa before he died. To show him, it's not about the money or fame after all, but Christ who lives in us. Nobody paid attention to him when he was dying anyway. Isn't it sad how the world works?

And at these occasions, I'm reminded of Christ, his love and his commandment to us all. 'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit' Matthew 28:19. Isn't that much more important than trying to do what we think are the most important to us?

Someone once said, most of us spend our lifetime trying to climb up the ladder, only to find in the end that it's on the wrong side of the wall. Be it fame, riches or love (yes, love. Most people spend their lifetime trying to find dat elusive one, only to find none actually satisfies their soul), would you put God first above all?

God Bless~

The Arcade

It's been so long since I ventured into the arcade center. Those were days where a ringgit would keep me in the arcade center for 2-3 hours to the end (heheh, I was practically undefeatable for some games *grin*). So thus, it was a delight to drop by the arcade center again with the whole bunch of CFers after the movies.

We had 10 of us, 8 who were willing to play (and pay) but unfortunately 4 Daytona machines available. Thus, we had to take turns playing and seeing who ends up with winning in the end.

It was my 2nd round, having did badly in the 1st when I pleasantly found my opponents were Celine and Kek Yang. Being the not-so-amateur driver I was, it was sheer delight to be able to *ehem* trash them in this game I 'thought' (yep, it's in inverted commas, heheheh) I knew so well.

But halfway through, I crashed twice and even screwed up the gears. Man, things weren't looking good! And checking the screen, I was placed 3rd out of 3rd place (!) So much for some boasting I made before the *ehem* slaughter started, heheh.

But who says prayer doesn't work? I told God he better help me win, else I lose face sitting next to Celine, having already boasted about my so called driving techniques (heheh, I know. I'm using God's name in vain *bleh*)

A miracle happened shortly after that. They crashed into each other while I stole ahead. Manual cars are much faster, that's why the pros drive them *smiles till my while teeth shows*

So, what's the moral of the story? Erm, nothing really. Other than the fact that the arcade teaches you to pray to God when you're in trouble..nahh!

p/s: Anyone for another around of Daytona? Gotta make them smell some burnt rubber, hahaha

Are you a loyal friend?

Got this from Ee Yern's blog. It's pretty good thinking stuff that makes me think again and again, 'Am I a loyal friend?' Guess when you've hit your mid-twenties, you begin to wonder who are actually your friends. Can the security guard you say 'hi' to everyday be termed as a friend? Can your classmates (and ex-classmates) make best friends? Can Christians from the Christian Fellowship we have be termed as loyal friends? (or just a small portion that share the same wavelength, hmm I wonder)

p/s: Btw, research has shown that a lonely person is more likely to die earlier!*gasp* Better not go around with baseball bat and try to hit people to make them submit into being my friend, heheheh

Here's Ee Yern's writings..
---------------------------------------------------------------

I came across this interesting subject while reading John Maxwell's Your Road Map For Success. It talks about being loyal. So what does it mean for others to be loyal to you?

They love you unconditionally. They accept you with your strengths and weaknesses intact. They genuinely care for you, not just for what you can do for them. And they are neither trying to make you into someone you're not nor putting you on pedestal.

They represent you well to others. Loyal people always paint a positive picture of you with others. They may take you to task privately or hold you accountable, but they never criticise you to others.

They are able to laugh and cry with you as you travel together. Loyal people are willing and able to share your joys and sorrows. They make the trip less lonely.

They make your dream their dream. Some people will undoutedly share the journey with you only briefly. You help one another for a while and then go your separate ways. But a few--a special few--will want to come alongside you and help you for the rest of the journey. These people make your dream their dream. They will be loyal unto death, and when they combine that loyalty with other talents and abilities, they can be some of your most valuable assets. If you find people like that, take good care of them.

(excerpt from John C. Maxwell's Your Road Map For Success)

I was once asked this question, "Who would be the 6 people that would carry your coffin when you die?". Those 6 people are usually the closest, the most loyal friends. During that time, I realise that I could not find 6. Like most of us, we do not many true, loyal friends in our lives. I have made a decision many years ago to invest in lives and to be a loyal friend to people around me. Occasionally, I might stumble but I thank God that I learn from every fall, every experience. How about you? Have you been a loyal friend lately?

Cycling

Had the thought of starting a bikers group here in Cyberjaya. And nope, not the Harley-Davidson kind of bikers, but more like a group of cyclists, cycling around Cyberjaya (and terrorising all those cats that get in our way, hahahaha)

But why cycling? Unlike jogging, where you tend to tire out and have to stop to rest, you can virtually cycle non-stop, as long as there's no trafficla. And there's also the breeze factor and the fact that petrol prices are going up soon (heard it's going up after Raya *shudder*) Add a pair of cool looking Oakleys and some girls might actually drool, heheheh (nah, just me and my crappiness *bleh*)

I guess what I really missed about my secondary school life was that I used to cycle around the neighbourhood, sometimes looking up friends, sometimes just having some fun and at other times, doing some thinking as I cycled. And there was also a few excursions to the cycling trails with friends on my trusty old mountain bike. Those still remain etched unto my memory as something cool I did while I was still a teen.

So, what about you? Wanna cycle as well? It's not only good exercise, but also good fun (try racing about with a friend, heheh). Just pray I can save up enough for a pretty decent bike *smile*

Guess that's it. There's still work to be done tomorrow. God Bless~

Scars

To tell the truth, the main reason I took up Christianity seriously was the fact I had no place else to run or hide. Friends could only help for a certain extent, but God heals and mends. Back then, the CD of Don Moen singing, 'I am the Lord, that healeth thee' calmed my soul as I struggled to understand life. (Heh, actually bought the CD for my dad, but ended up listening to it everyday)

Scars, is what I term this post. Guess that God's leading me through a period of restoration and healing now. Healing from the various vicious things people sometimes speak unintentionally (or for some, with intent *sigh*) Healing from emotional wounds and scars that never really healed, as it was all shoved down under the guise of 'being macho & loud'

These few weeks had been a period of insecurity and depression. But the truth was, it ran deeper than this. There were a lot of times in the past, where I would excuse myself from the crowd and find a place to hide, cry and get upset with God. Thank God it's almost over now.

I used to (and sometimes still do) go around feeling down, feeling I don't cut it with people and finally feeling I need to do more to be accepted. I thank God for friends who have been there showing that it's ok to be just me, the plain old crappy/serious/boring Leo that I am.

One thing I've definitely learnt is that the past will always be the past. Scars will be scars, though at times it brings back insecurity and the feeling that I don't belong there.

Guess that's it. For those of you who were there for me (and you know who you are), thanks, I owe you guys one.

God Bless~

Vanity

Was just browsing through Ching's site when I came across this link (link removed due to unappropriate pictures, heh). Why do people do things to look young? Especially when they have all the money they ever need?

No wonder people say you'll never be satisfied. How shall we live our lives?

God Bless~

Crossroads

A lot of things have been happening recently. Many forced me to sit, think and sometimes cry out to God. Sometimes I don't quite comprehend, thus I spend some time sitting alone trying to make sense of life. At other times, friends do help me process those thoughts.

So, what's new here? It's on two fronts. Firstly, I've been delayed once again in my Engineering degree by another four months (unless a miracle happens, heheh) Four awfully long months if you begin to think of the prospects of going to class & meals alone without the familiar faces of Leona, Su Chen, Su Yin, David Eng, Niger, Marcus, Ji Fong & Daniel Sim. Looks like I've gotta be prepared to sit alone once more *sigh*

But nah, I'm not gonna be down about this. I'll take this as another opportunity to work hard, study smart and make up for past failures. Another chance to reach out to the unreached. Another chance to learn more about life. Another chance to improve on my people skills without being too worried of what people might think (ah, the working world is surprisingly sensitive and critical, compared to undergrads)

There was some confusion (and depression as well) as dad suggested a credit transfer to some university in NZ or Australia. Going there not only involves uprooting myself, but having to find space and time to settle down there. I felt lost for awhile. Actually, the thought of doing stupid things raced across my mind, and for once I actually considered doing them.

But I believe God will bring me through this. He will make straight my paths and make right my ways as long as I surrender my all to Christ.

-------------------------------------------------------------
Part 2

On the 2nd front though, it's more subtle. Working has indeed opened my eyes to the good and yet the bad of the world. Unlike Chili's, where most of us are innocent young people, my workplace is filled with people who have done it all. Some of my colleagues boast about their (s)exploits and their adventures without flinching an eye bat (heh, must have told their stories many times around I guess)

And it's there you see the world is driven to fulfill it's desire. Wealth, Sex and Booze seems to be the order of the day. One colleague went around cursing the Boss as every item we repair nets the company tens of thousands, while his pay check does not change.

Yet another came back from Laos and boasted that he 'did' it with a couple of 18 year old prostitutes every night, with each amounting up to rm 110. While this, another boasted having slept with women from Korea, Japan, Singapore and a lot from his old workplace in Sarawak. I was left surprised, stunned, disgusted but yet thinking of why the world works in such a manner.

And Booze? Some of them suffer from liver problems due to their booze intake. But yet, they take booze as they have marital problems. All due to their skirt chasing ways while they had less wrinkles.

-------------------------------------------------
Part 3

At times, I ponder whether Christianity would be the right way to go. After all, the world out there seems so much more exciting compared to the boring old Church. There are a lot of things out there to snare a young man's heart.

After all, there are a lot of nice & pretty non Christian/backslidden women who are willing to date, there's the thrill of dancing in clubs every night till your legs wear out, the thrill of getting high on booze and cigarettes and finally, having more money will give you a really comfortable life.

But yet, as I look at my colleagues, they don't seem too happy with their lives. Sex, after all last less then 10 minutes (erm, I think lah. We're not the French, heheh) What's good sex compared having a good marriage? And after all, a pretty wife does not nescessarily equate to a happy marriage. She might be having an affair for all you know (heh, I'm saying this according to marriage stats)

And finally, booze can only drown out your sorrow, not actually healing away the pain and mend away the wounds. And it makes your wallet even more empty(!)

Guess that's it. Jesus is still the way, the truth and the life. Although other ways may seem interesting, it only leads to death. After all, Christ mentioned, 'Narrow is the way that leads to life'. I will serve Jesus Christ with all my heart.

Amen~